If money wasnt an issue

If your aggressive reaction to a calm and honest answer to a question is any indication of what a private school education gets you, I'm glad my kids and I are well out of it.

25% of DC in independent schools are SEN. 25% of DC in independent schools are lower income and on fee assistance.

You are deluded if you don't think that like attracts like in state schools. DC from similar backgrounds will naturally gravitate to others like them.

You are basing your prejudice on outdated and ignorant stereotypes. It's fine, many do but i do find it strange when parents say they would purposely jeopardise the education and well being of their DC based on random "morals".

Race is only one element. I also mean variety in terms of finance, SEN, disability, academic prowess, etc.

Not that the debate is applicable to our family anyway, the cost of private education is prohibitive to the vast majority of people. But the OP asked "if money was no object", and I'm answering honestly. We will not ever be able to afford to send our kids to private school, so it's fortunate for us that the situation aligns with our feelings about private education.

Local state schools have always been an issue for us. The only good ones were faith schools, and because my sons are Hindu we were discriminated against. I could afford private so that’s the option we took.

my eldest had his choice of sixth form, and there is no faith based criteria, two extra years of private is a drop in the ocean at this point regarding fees, so let him have free choice. He opted for the local state college and is absolutely loving it.

We have first hand experience of three very good state schools, one top grammar, and three private schools including one super selective.

The main difference I could see is building confidence, resilience and competitiveness. No comp is focussed on that as they're usually overwhelmed with so many issues nowadays, even in affluent areas.

IMO private education is not really about exam results, it's more about developing personality and character.

"Heterogeneous intake", you mean like the state schools around us which are 98-99% white British Vs independent which is around 76% white British?

So you would purposely disadvantage the education of your children just because of some misplaced misunderstanding of what independent schools are?
I find that fascinating as it's alien to me as a parent that another parent would do that.

Yes I would. Doing otherwise contributes to the issues of "good vs horrendous" schools, that's the whole point. Schools, children, and teachers are all better off with a heterogeneous intake.

I dream of a flexible boarding option, it would make work travel (and maybe even a weekend away) easy.
But otherwise I prefer a good big school to a small one. More options, more people, more support. Small schools are tricky if you don't click with the cohort for any reason and privates tend to be smaller.

Easy to have high morals if you have access to good state schools. Not all of us are that privileged.
Would you put morals ahead of your DC well being or education if their state schools were horrendous/they were being bullied/your DC had SEN which local state couldn't accommodate? Or would you then put your morals to one side to best support your DC?

Finance wasn't a complete non issue but we have a fairly good lifestyle. So for us it came down to what was the state provision like, local secondary school was not great, so ultimately we decided to send to private. Don't regret it for a minute, and thankfully just about to come out of the other end as son in the last year.
In your position it sounds like you have a good state option but if you have concerns around your children and the number of other pupils then I would definitely go private. It is an individual choice though.

No, I would never send my children to private school. I think a two-tier schooling system is hugely detrimental to society. I also think that "best" and "most expensive" are not the same thing. Supporting and encouraging your children with schoolwork and other interests is more valuable than throwing money at private education.

Agree. Send them private.

It depends on the schools- we have grammars locally so they get the high achievers. There is one private secondary which gets pretty awful results-there is no way I would pay tens of thousands to send a child there.

Pit money aside, and the idea of private vs state.

Which school do you think will benefit your children more and where they will be happiest? Which school to they prefer?

Yes I would. Mine have finished school now and both did well at a Comp. Both were happy at secondary. One was happy at primary, the other not so much. If I could have given them the best, then yes I would have. They both got AAB at A level which is good, but they probably could have done slightly better at private. Both had missing teachers in year 12

Depends what you want from education.
I'd pay for an alternative style private school like Summerhill or for tutors and groups for home education.

Difficult to say, good friends of ours sent there DS to private school from primary , same age as our DS, yes he did lots of fancy things that ours didn’t, learnt fencing for example, far more adventurous school trips, but did he actually leave with vastly better qualifications and go to a better university, no. It doesn’t automatically guarantee success. Have you asked if they would want to do it

Dd1 was a coaster at primary school, always did well but not exceptional. She went private for secondary and as the academic level was much higher she started to put more effort in. Ended up with all A star gcses, A levels and read medicine at Cambridge. She is 34 now.

Then why are you considering a worse option at all?

@Swan2019 we chose independent gor secondary as local state secondary options are truly dire plus DD is academic but lazy.
It is hard with VAT but we are really happy with the choice. Sport 4 days per week, she's won an academic scholarship for Yrs 9-11 and is maturing into a kind, thoughtful and confident young person. She's had opportunities she wouldn't have had in the state schools and has grabbed each one.
The only downside is the negative attitude displayed by some MN posters. In the real world no-one cares where you send your DC to school as long as they turn out to be decent human beings.

I’d go for it in the position you just outlined. Having high expectations is not a bad thing.