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Original poster

Single sex school a good idea for potentially gay child?

52 replies

AreYouAGod · 18/07/2025 09:05

DS is going into y6 and is currently at a very small, supportive, village type school.

He plays almost exclusively with girls and always has done. He may or may not be gay. Tbh I think he is too young to be sexually interested in anyone. To be clear - he is not ‘trapped in the wrong body’.

He is just a boy who shares more interests with girls.

The single sex school option will offer a lot more extra curricular activity that aligns with his interests and will be more suited to his academic nature.
But I have concerns that because he is never one of the ‘boys’ and hates blokey, aggressive and lad culture he will miss the company of girls.

I also worry that if he goes to the huge mixed school which is our other option, the girls may not even want to hang out with him. They will hit puberty before him and they may not want to play with him/hang around with him if there are boys they can potentially snog around!

Any mean comments from current boys about him being ‘gay’ were completely stamped out by the current school.

Is this likely to be the case in a larger secondary?

I just have huge concerns with both schools tbh.

My biggest fear is bullies making him self conscious and dimming his beautiful shine.

Any advice from mums who have sons that have navigated either environment with success? Or from mums that would absolutely not recommend one school?

OP posts:
Original poster
AreYouAGod · 18/07/2025 09:42

Thank you for replying.

There seems to be a fair bit of misogyny within single sex boys schools. Which he would hate.

I also see how some other boys his age respond to him, and grown men as well, which is with a sense of real ‘ick’. Almost like they recoil at his clothes, interests etc

But do girls in y7/8 really want to hang out with boys?

OP posts:
Stowickthevast · 18/07/2025 09:31

To be honest I would probably opt for the mixed school. I do think you're more likely to get a bit of toxic masculinity in an all boys environment. My nephew goes to an all boys school and he laughed at me when I asked him how many people in his year (y10) were gay - i.e none.
By contrast Dd1 who is the same age is at a mixed school and has a couple of male friends who are openly gay. Dd2 is at an all girls school and is bi - she has experienced some homophobia but the school were quick to address it.
Unfortunately I've seen a rise in homophobia and the "anti-woke" brigade in schools recently. Not among the staff who are still teaching inclusivity and diversity but among the pupils who are probably getting it from parents.