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Original poster

Panicking about strict school uniform policies

57 replies

AllGonePeteTong1 · 02/07/2025 13:48

In our area we a choice of two secondary schools. They both have very strict unform policies. My DD has a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism and significant sensory sensitivities. She has been unable to wear her primary school's full uniform all year (wearing a t-shirt instead of shirt; trainers instead of shoes) and the school have been very supportive of this. Their view is that her attendance and emotional wellbeing are the priority (she was having panic attacks when getting dressed before they relaxed their requirements).

She's now in year 5 and we have to apply for secondary schools soon. I've reached out to the Senco's of each school - one has ignored me and the other has confirmed that there are NO adjustments made - everyone has to wear the full uniform and that if my DD can't cope with it, we should apply elsewhere. Except, the other school is also very strict by all accounts. ARGH!

I really don't know what to do. We've looked into private options but they are either unaffordable, too far away or have similarly draconian approaches to uniform.

Home schooling not an option - we both work full time in very demanding jobs.

I requested an occupational therapy referral from her GP to help with her sensitivities. But just ended up with a charity via CAMHS offering 6 sessions with a counsellor. Not sure whether to try the private route?

Not sure why I'm posting really. But would be really interested to hear from people who have been in this situation.

OP posts:
MollyButton · 02/07/2025 14:41

Does she have a EHCP? If not start the process to get one.
whatever get this issue recorded. Then it is disability discrimination not to make accommodations. Although also find a local community of SEN parents, they may be able to suggest local supplies if uniform that are more acceptable to your child.

Original poster
AllGonePeteTong1 · 02/07/2025 14:28

Glad you won that fight @lavenderanddaisies. It really shouldn't be so hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
AllGonePeteTong1 · 02/07/2025 14:23

I guess I need to prepare myself for a fight...In answer to your question @Danascully2 I know lots of parents with kids there. There really doesn't seem to be any flex. @Ohdearwhatnow4 That's a good idea about the shirt - maybe we could practice over the summer holidays

OP posts:
lavenderanddaisies · 02/07/2025 14:09

I had this fight with a mainstream secondary school as my daughter needed to wear a hoodie as it was the only way she felt safe. She has asd, adhd and mental health issues. After a lot of battles it was accepted as a ‘reasonable adjustment’.

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 02/07/2025 14:06

You might be able to find trainers that look like shoes. The shirt situation is something you might be able to work with. Could you start by putting a shirt on over a top and leave it undone, and slowly work from their. It's not going to be easy and the school might change their minds but be prepared for them sticking to their rules

BoredZelda · 02/07/2025 14:02

My daughter wears whatever she feels comfortable in. The school are told that’s what’s happening because of her sensory issues. There has never been a problem. I would bypass the SENCo and go to the head teacher. I would use words like inclusion and equality, and if you have a local authority inclusion and equity officer, get them involved too.

Danascully2 · 02/07/2025 13:57

My son has a physical condition so the reasons are different but the secondary he will be starting soon has been very helpful with some adjustments to the uniform requirements. It's a mainstream grammar school with something of a reputation for strictness. They said if a teacher isn't aware of his needs and he gets any behaviour points for those aspects of uniform (might not have been called behaviour points, I can't remember the details, but some sort of negative mark on his record) then student support can take the marks off his record. Years ago before he started primary school an occupational therapist wrote a letter for me explaining the difficulties relating to school uniform - I've never actually needed to show it but it's helpful to have it. Maybe it's easier for the school to understand when it's a clearly visible physical condition (shouldn't be like that though).
Those schools sound really unhelpful but maybe they are better at supporting students who are actually enrolled there? Do you know anyone with children there?

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