Daughter denied prom attendance.

good work!

There are some awful stories here but all these posters saying "go to the papers" and "write to every parent in the school". That's crazy and just makes you look unhinged. Far better to address with the head and from there governors and in extreme situation the CRE as a PP has said (terrible that you had to go that far).

What ?
What has a child being ill got to do with that?
What a terrible thing to say.

Oh god no ! But I'd tell people that I knew as I said I had no actual advice just I'd want people to know my child had been excluded

This is ridiculous, are you one of those parents who complains about the school on Facebook etc?

Did you provide the GP letter as they asked? If you provided that then how can they ban her; she has medical evidence. Go to the governors or local authority and kick up a fuss.

Just so you know though, the word is exacerbated not exasperated (that’s a different word). I’m not saying that to be a dick about spelling; it’s just incase you send them an email to explain the situation. I didn’t want you to use the wrong word.

I thought they'd have stopped this nonsense by now. I wasn't allowed to attend an end of term barbecue because my dad died and I had surgery a few weeks later so I didn't have enough behaviour or attendance points, that was 30 off years ago. I assumed schools were more clued into pastoral care these days.

I worked in a school. There's a huge difference between a bratty child and one with a disability who has been bullied.

Bloody hell, that’s a bit harsh! OP’s daughter has a medical condition and has been bullied. How on earth do you reach the conclusion that she’s a brat?

@Paul87 it sounds as if school have really let her down. I would state facts in a letter to the head and head of governors. Point out how discriminatory they’re being and ask them to reconsider. If no joy with that approach get support of other parents / friends / go to the press.

Is it the actually the school staff organising the prom? Ours was organised by parents so school had no say in who could go and who didn’t.

They tried to do this to DS2 who is a severe asthmatic and who had, also, dislocated and broken his shoulder in 3 places playing rugby for the school during Yr11. I was absolutely fuming, he was a good kid, never in trouble and very liked by his teachers.

I contacted the Equality and Human Rights Commission who gave me advice on what to write to the school. They, also, told me that schools should have 2 registers for chronically sick and disabled students so they can keep their absences related to those conditions completely separate. I sent all this back to the HT who basically wrote back saying “it’s my party and I’ll invite who I like” and then said DS2 hadn’t been off for his asthma. Unfortunately for her, I’d emailed the school every time he was off, citing the reason, and still had a copy.

I went back to the Equality and Human Rights Commission who again advised me what to say and told me they’d support me in any legal action I decided to take. This was sent in a, recorded delivery, letter and email to the HT. Within 4 days I had a letter of apology for the “misunderstanding”, a copy of a second register and of course DS2 could attend the prom.

Good luck with all this, it’s not right at all.

Why are you in side with the school. If a medical condition causes absence then it is a form of discrimination to ban someone on the basis of absence.

Rules are rules. They’ve had a whole year of warnings and hoops to jump through at my DDs school to qualify for prom.

I can see none of the posters work in schools. I don’t think any of you truly appreciate how bratty your kids (and most of their parents)

I hate all attendance awards. There’s a school I’m associated with that gives children sweatshirts with 100% attendance in massive letters on the back.

One of my DD’s friends broke her leg at school then they wouldn’t let her go to school because she couldn’t wear a school shoe! She would be allowed to go and do her work in the ‘isolation unit’ but not get any actual teaching so her parents kept her at home.

Then she wasn’t allowed to go to prom because of her attendance.

This could be a form of disability discrimination. She has a disabling stomach condition that prevents her from attending school. School must make reasonable adjustments for people with medical conditions so they have the same access to things as the people who do not share her medical condition. She should be allowed to attend Prom.

If her condition affects her day to day life and has or will last more than a year its a disability. So yes, it's disability discrimination. Is be sending a solicitor's letter

I would be fuming. Your daughter is being discriminated against based on a medical condition. Just knowing about the prom exclusion will create stress and possibly worsen her condition. Make an official complaint. The school clearly has form in letting your daughter down.

Why do so many schools not only ignore serious bullying, but also design policies to actively discriminate against children with disabilities and medical conditions - often resulting in the disabled pupil being excluded rather than the bully? It's 2025. How do they get away with this?

I think my son's school have a 'behaviour' stipulation for attendance to the school prom. I've not heard a school saying no based on attendance only. If your daughter has a medication condition, then she shouldn't be penalised for it. I'd talk to the Head of Year or Senior Leadership Team.

I would not go to the media this will make the situation worse. I would email the head teacher and copy in the governors with details about your concerns, once you have received the letter the head has said they are sending to you. Make sure you follow the school complaints procedure.

I assume you have a letter from GP regarding the condition, that you can share with the head and the governors. I would hope this will make them change their minds or realise their error.

I think I’d write to every parent in the school ( how I’m not not sure )

You honestly think it's fine to discriminate against someone based on their illness?
And maybe if the school had fulfilled their obligation to deal with OP's daughter being bullied, she would have been in a bit more too.

@Viviennemary why do you agree with the school?
People can't help being ill.

Will she be well enough to attend the prom. Tbh I am marginally on the side of the school. But appeal by all means.

The school I used to work at did this and they were really strict about attendance and behaviour. It did work as an incentive but there were some pupils like your dc who were not allowed to attend.

My dc’s school did not have a prom but they had health problems similar to your dc so would have been in the same position. I don’t think it’s fair.