Daughter denied prom attendance.

This is disgraceful,unlawful, discrimination. A strongly worded email to the Head hopefully will suffice.

At my dc's school the leavers ball is arranged by the students, backed up by their parents in a hotel, the school wisely stay our of it.

If OP's child was so ill that she couldn't go Into school at all, pretty obviously this issue wouldn't arise. However, she is in a not uncommon category where she can go into school and does do so as much as she can, but at times she is just too ill to do so. No doubt she hopes to be well enough to go to the Prom. I don't see what is difficult to understand about that?

Did you get a doctor's note. With that, they won't say no.

I have bowel issues. Unpredictable. Possibly bile acid malabsorption as i have no gall bladder. I had to take more than the recommended dose of Imodium on the evening of 27 November last year so i wouldnt have to risk shitting myself at my dads funeral the next day.

@Paul87 Im disgusted by the way your daughter is being treated.

She’s not saying she’s too ooorly to attend now. She’s saying that she’s been too poorly to attend school on too many occasions this year to be allowed to go to prom. She might have good days and bad days.

Maybe they won’t be well enough, that still doesn’t justify them being banned from attending.

Yep, our school have done this. Some parents had former out hundreds of £s already on dresses. They had an assembly at the start of y11 and had to vote on the acceptable amount of absences allowed before prom was revoked. It was actually quite a high number. Possibly included lates as well. When parents got an email today tickets were available on the app the kids had been told in person that day they weren’t allowed to go - yet - they were being given another half term to improve attendance. Weirdly my daughter’s ticket didn’t appear on the app to buy and I was fuming as she had no such absences - is autistic and refuses to stay off even when poorly but had maybe 3 instances where I’d made her stay off due to infection rule. Literally no detentions ever. The model child at school from parents evenings and reports. Contacted head of year and it turned out to be an admin error and her ticket appeared soon after. But many parents on the parent fb group were being told no tickets due to attendance. Not sure of any have got them back yet.

I’m a teacher but totally against this kind of thing and other rewards based on attendance. I work in sen and some kids can’t be in school, some are in intensive care but ofsted would still complain. This is where the attendance thing comes from - the pressure ofsted put on schools. I work with kids with mental health issues who getting into school can be difficult, autistic burnout loads or reasons. Absolutely hate punishing kids for things. Shine their control. A friend I went to school with had poor attendance. She was a carer to her mum who was wheelchair blind after a serious accident and then had other complications with health due to that. Thankfully attendance awards and proms weren’t a thing back then. But I’m guessing many children are in a similar situation nowadays.

You have no option to wait for the letter. But following that, I’d get a solicitors letter sent over to the school stating you believe your daughter is being unlawfully discriminated against due to her known health issues and unresolved bullying inadequately supported by the school. The letter should cc the LEA.

It’ll cost a couple of hundred pounds but your DD will very likely end up going to her prom without the need for much further engagement. There’s nothing like a legal letter accusing discrimination to get people to back down and do the right thing.

What I don't understand is if someone is too ill to attend work/school, etc, how can they possibly be well enough to attend a party, however special the party?

The problem may be that there isn't time to work all the way through the complaints policy unless the school and governors are prepared to expedite their responses. If the head endorses this decision then the complaint has to go to the governors anyway, and given the reputational risk to the school it would make sense for the governors to be involved from an early stage.

I would speak to HT again and let them now that they may be discriminating as your child has medical issues. Check your home or car insurance as if you ticked legal cover then you can ask them anything. It's well worth getting at next renewal whichever comes first. this y11 was the y6 of 2020 so didn't get to celebrate.

Also at my son's school, we joke that they have police for everything, uniform police at the door yet when you walk around the kids are not following procedure yet one time my kid couldn't find his tie on a monday morning he was given the walk of shame. Corridor police, toilet police, lunchtime police and w now have prom police. Told every day to behave or no prom yet the disruptive kids (not SEND) will go to prom anyway as the school is too scared to tackle those parents by saying no. It's a joke.

definitely challenge with everything you've got as the naughty kids will be there!

And the law is the law. The school is hardly setting a good example about complying with the rules if it can't comply with the law, is it?

What has this got to do with being bratty?

It sounds like, if you work in a school, you really shouldn't.

Why are you on the school's side? How can it be right to punish a child for having a disability?

This isn't an excuse, it's a reason.

Yes, of course they're discriminating, and it's unlawful. Get hold of the school's equality and complaints policies, point out to them everything which (I hope) says they will not discriminate on the basis of disability, and ask for an immediate reversal of this decision. Point out that it's been hard enough for your child coping with the stomach condition plus bullying, and this just exacerbates all of that. Also say ever so politely that it would be a real pity if you had to start a formal disability discrimination claim so you hope this can be resolved amicably.

And, if they won't play ball, contact the Equality Advisory and Support Service and take that claim all the way.

If this were a workplace and it was a reward based on attendance/lack of sick leave, then there would be discrimination issues if they didn’t give the reward due to sickness levels for such medical reasons. Therefore schools should be not be falling fowl of this

I’d throw the book at them. Go to the top. Make it very plain this is medical discrimination after failings on their part that exacerbated the issue and they either include her or you get a solicitor involved. I wouldn’t normally recommend this, but the school are becoming the bullies by punishing her unfairly.

Or you could try your MP as she’s being discriminated against for a medical issue.

10 years working in a secondary school here and I don’t think the OPs child should be banned from prom (or any child with a medical reasoning). And other than the children with severe behavioural issues and the odd difficult parent, most aren’t bratty at all but just having a bad moment, like you clearly were when you wrote that response. Perhaps you should find another job.

It’s a v harsh policy. My daughter looked as though she would lose her prom in Y11. She did something silly and impulsive that had consequences she hadn’t anticipated. We fully supported school’s decision to exclude her from it as we knew their policy. However, they put together a ‘passport to prom’ for her, giving her the opportunity to earn it back. It worked, she kept her head down, worked hard and earned it back. There were certainly no exclusions on the grounds of attendance unless truancy was involved.

Schools can be pretty bonkers places at times. My school (primary) reward pupils who walk to school with badges. Head could not understand my objection that no 6 year old (year 1) had any control over their method of transport to school. Pure madness.

Anyway, I really hope your daughter is able to go to and enjoy her prom. It sounds like she more than deserves it.

Look up disability discrimination in their won school policy and quote some out them. Tell them they are breaking policy and you would like to know whether its best to contact the local authority the board of governors or offstead to make a formal complaint.

Don't yield OP. This is appalling. Yes there are rules and there are tickboxes. Equally there should be compassion and understanding. Particularly when the school is complicit in your daughter's heightened symptons and absences via bullying.

I'm so enraged by this.

Hii i have read alot about children getting banned from proms recently for the most stupid stuff x
i dont know if you follow 'part time working mum' but she did a massive post about her girl being banned and loads and loads of parents wrote to her about their own experiences x
schools are so out dated my son usually
comes home having soiled himself saying he wasnt allowed to use the loo hes 7 it infuriates me and i have spoke to them x
have your own prom and stick two fingers up to them! Xxx