Daughter denied prom attendance.

I have worked in schools and the biggest problem with behaviour is lack of consequences. That said, they do tend to go for blanket policies rather than individual issues. I suppose in some ways deemed fair.

I’m not saying it’s right, there should be exceptions.

A local group of mums organise prom for those excluded. Book the venue and photographer etc - it’s very well attended!
Sone ‘included’ kids chose this alternative to their main prom.

Is OP your mother? If not, why are you calling her Mum? Should we automatically disbelieve mothers in your view?

Just show up with her. Tell them they will need to call the police if they want you to leave and they will need to explain to the police why they tried to ban her. Then, when the police show up - Put in a complaint of harassment, discrimination, intimidation, and bullying. Tell them the school are making you feel fearful. Tell the school you will be doing this, if you turn up with your daughter and they kick-off.

This would have to go to the tribunal, where damages can't be awarded and it is difficult to get costs against the other side, unfortunately.

So under the Equality Act, this is actually unlawful treatment of your daughter. It’s illegal to penalise pupils based on attendance if there is a known medical condition. This needs pointing out to the HT. Please keep us updated on what the letter says OP.

This.
Definitely.
Awful behaviour on the part of the school.
I hope it works out well for her.
Good Luck 😘

You were right not to say it, since the person who said it made an utter fool of themself.

I personally think it’s a gross abuse of power not letting kids attend prom for attendance issues, regardless of the reason. If they’ve had horrendous behaviour issues, then maybe, but it’s a once in a lifetime event. It’s unforgivable to deny them entry, and it’s a totally disproportionate punishment for most things.

Agree with many others on this thread. This is clearly unlawful discrimination. If they refuse to back down and you take them to court, this will be expensive for them.

Yes, this. A disabled person isn't a faulty thing that isn't any use for anything at all and only fit to be overlooked and disregarded in the corner as irrelevant and unimportant.

We face huge challenges in life, and we end up having to miss out on a lot of things that able-bodied people take for granted; but that doesn't mean that we're utterly useless and can't do or enjoy anything. Nor should it come as a surprise that we would want to.

It sounds like she can't go because the toilets are locked. Locked toilets are not great when you don't have the key. As a disabled person.

Because she hasn't been ill every single day of the year?

Plus a prom/party is a different scenario to a school day. You don't have to think or work, you have completely free access to toilet facilities, you can take breaks anytime you want, if you feel pain you can leave at any point.

One of my good friends had a very serious medical condition, her attendance was very poor towards the end of our school as she just wasn't well enough to come to school but she did attend prom (which I'm really grateful as she soon passed). Almost like it takes less effort to come and sit down, laughing with your friends than get through a whole day at school. And it wiped her out for a few days, which you can do for a one off but can't manage every day

Once again unless you are this child's doctor, you have no idea as to how this medical condition may affect her and what her capabilities are

I didn’t want to say it…🤣

I'd actually find a solicitor to write the head a letter. Expressing discrimination against a medical condition. I'm pretty sure they'll change their minds after one letter.

I do. Maybe you shouldn't.

OP, you haven't actually said if your daughter wants to go to the prom. Is she very much looking forward to it, or maybe worried about the bullies?

That's outrageous,your poor DD. Hope things get better for her soon.

All this. The person most upset about my child not being able to go to school was my child! They already miss out on so much, they don't need school to then be making them miss out on more.

It's a fluctuating condition. She may or may not be well enough on the day. If she is well enough she should be allowed to attend.

The equality act says that types of discrimination are illegal, defining discrimination as when a person with a disability is treated less favourably, because of his or her disability, than a person who does not have a disability. The Equality Act 2010 defines a disability as a ‘physical or mental impairment’ that has ‘a substantial and long-term adverse effect’ on an individual’s ability to carry out ‘normal day-to-day activities’. A substantial adverse effect is a negative effect that is more than trivial, and the effect is long-term if it has lasted or is expected to last for more than twelve months.

Education and early years providers have a duty to make reasonable adjustment for people with disabilities and failure to make reasonable adjustments is a form of discrimination. The Act covers all schools and providers of early years settings that are covered by the early years’ framework in England, including maintained (non- fee paying) and fee-paying schools.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5ce6a72e40f0b620a103bd53/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions.pdf

Unacceptable practice

25. Governing bodies should ensure that the school’s policy is explicit about what

practice is not acceptable.

Further advice:

Although school staff should use their discretion and judge each case on its merits

with reference to the child’s individual healthcare plan, it is not generally acceptable

practice to:

• prevent children from easily accessing their inhalers and medication and

administering their medication when and where necessary;

• assume that every child with the same condition requires the same treatment;

• ignore the views of the child or their parents; or ignore medical evidence or

opinion (although this may be challenged);

• send children with medical conditions home frequently for reasons associated

with their medical condition or prevent them from staying for normal school

activities, including lunch, unless this is specified in their individual healthcare

plans;

• if the child becomes ill, send them to the school office or medical room

unaccompanied or with someone unsuitable;

• penalise children for their attendance record if their absences are related to

their medical condition, e.g. hospital appointments;

• prevent pupils from drinking, eating or taking toilet or other breaks whenever

they need to in order to manage their medical condition effectively;

• require parents, or otherwise make them feel obliged, to attend school to

administer medication or provide medical support to their child, including with

toileting issues. No parent should have to give up working because the school

is failing to support their child’s medical needs; or

• prevent children from participating, or create unnecessary barriers to children

participating in any aspect of school life, including school trips, e.g. by

requiring parents to accompany the child.

School proms should be a thing of the past. If some schools want to continue this awful event, at the very least they should not be acting in the way they have done with the OPs DD. On the basis of what is said.

I would hope a boycott of the event could happen in sympathy, though doubt it will.

I would imagine the schools take on this will be completely different which would put a completely different spin on this. I don't think anyone can give an opinion as this is mums version of events.

Do you not understand that the prom is going to be on a different day than previous absences? So illness on previous days does not mean she will be ill on prom night. Of course she may be and if she is she won’t go….its not rocket science.

as the mother of a chronically ill kid, with numerous official diagnosis I have lost counts of the days out that have been missed. Concerts missed, days on holiday spent in hotel rooms, plans cancelled for dinner, friends let down. It’s never ending and it’s devastating over and over again for the child involved. Nobody asks for a life like this.

My DDs school used it as a carrot , we got a letter about three months before the prom says any significant misdemeanours would mean exclusion from prom (regardless of wether ticket had been purchased) they also did this with international school trips. It ensured a lot of Sen kids got excluded from these types of events. (Needless to say my autistic son will not be attending this school)

This is awful and I feel for you and your daughter.

I think an email to the teacher and head of year is in order. I’d be asking them to confirm their stance and the policy, especially on authorised absences for example. This should be a clear cut case.

Thereafter, a note to the headteacher and chair of governors stating that what should be a happy time has yet again been fraught by the school’s systems, approach and lack of sensitivity.

I am astounded at some PP who suggest going to the papers or rousing the troops. There is a child who has been bullied for something outside of their control and the media and commenters will most surely weaponise that. The bullies will likely point to further exceptionalism or special treatment - when they don’t need to know this is even an issue. The only decision maker here is the school - so getting them to see reason is key.