Daughter denied prom attendance.

• missing!

I wouldn’t risk arranging her to go to the prom OP. If her stomach problems are so frequent as to cause her kissing so
much school, chances her she could be ill the day of the prom. And that would be a lot of money wasted.

Err....I hate to break it to you, but expressing one's opinions on a matter is kind of the point of a discussion forum.

Apologies, I didn’t realise people were responding.
I said ‘Some’ children have constant excuses. Not all children. Of course there are genuine cases.

I work in a school in a deprived area where attendance is under 80%. Many children have awful attendance for a whole multitude of reasons that are not completely justifiable. A bad hand for example; or bad period pains.

The point I was failing to make, wasn’t that all children are liars and therefore shouldn’t be absent. It was that many children are giving reasons not to attend school, backed by their parents. In op’s case there is a GP note which makes a difference, but as a teacher attendance IS a huge problem currently, exacerbated by Covid time off. I used my own son as an example of how children can be dealing with health issues that are ongoing and still manage to attend in a lot of cases.

I was not commenting as much on op’s daughter as I was the school policy about attendance points for prom.
I am torn on that as a policy. I understand the issues surrounding attendance, but I also don’t think missing prom is the appropriate solution.

So to clarify, attendance is a huge current issue in schools, for which SLT are thinking up ‘imaginative’ solutions. I understand this issue and in too many cases, it is avoidable, and parents should try to get their children to school. (Not commenting on op specifically). However the attendance policy to do with prom points is unfair and I try to mitigate this myself by dishing out the prom points in other ways.

Attendance is vital in schools and that's why they use it as a carrot for prom. They have told you to get a letter from the doctor them she can go. I don't see what the issue is , just get the letter

Now that proms have become part of our culture, they’re not just a treat but a rite of passage. It will stick in that child’s memory forever that they were deemed not worthy to be part of their community doing something to mark the end of their school career.
I think it’s absolutely dreadful to stop children attending.

I would like to see a case go to court and be reported on too. Its going to be the only way this shit will stop

And the fact that a thought comes into your head is not always a reason to express it to others.

Even without the bullying in the equation (which is on school as they should have promptly & effectively dealt with this!) making a child miss prom for a medical condition is awful 😢

Surely you understand that the majority of children who are persistently absent usually have other stuff going on though!? A lot are genuinely in crisis. Curious to know what you think are excuses?

So depressing knowing schools are still pulling shit like this. 🙄

Are you one of the teachers who has recognised yourself in this thread?

What is your DD diagnosed with? Something like IBS or 'worry tummy', should not be reasons for missing school.

For places of educational learning, it's amazing how utterly stupid and unaware some schools can be.

It's ludicrous that the adults who run the school have to have it spelled out to them that this is very obvious discrimination on the basis of somebody's disability - no different from the little children having to be constantly reminded to wash their hands after going to the toilet.

Except the children aren't doing it from a perspective of othering and prejudice; and they aren't (at least yet) setting themselves up as wise pillars of the community.

This is the equivalent of deliberately taking away disabled access ramps for wheelchair users, with the nasty 'reasoning' that, if your body won't allow you to climb steps like able-bodied people, you somehow 'don't deserve' to be allowed to use the building like everybody else.

To be honest, I'd really like to see a case like this go to court, and be widely reported on nationally. We all know what the ruling would be; but it would then put the frighteners nationwide on the kind of school staff who actively choose to discriminate against less-privileged pupils and punish them for having a disability - rather than the disabled pupils themselves having to live in fear of what is basically illegal bullying and discriminatory treatment from teachers.

Nasty prejudiced mindsets like these and their adherents should be exposed and held accountable. If they were actively punishing the black pupils for 'not being white enough', nobody but the very nastiest and hardest of thinking would condone it for a moment.

Don't threaten legal action. Do it, unless you want to give them one final opportunity to comply with the law. Ask them to confirm in writing whether your daughter can or cannot attend.

I have organised proms for years and have fought tooth and nail with SLT for nearly all the kids to go (only those who have done something serious should not). I always used to win - SLT are so blinded by rules they often forget there are real people behind them.

Surely this is direct disability discrimination? If your daughter’s stomach condition affects her health long term that would be classed as a disability under the Equalities Act. I would contact the EHRC for advice and I’d be making loud noises to school about bringing a disability discrimination case.

Having been discriminated against as a child with medical issues Im livid for your daughter Call them out on the discrimination and threaten legal action

Children with chronic health conditions and those who are bullied (as acknowledged by school in this case) are “bratty” are they?

Delightful. What exactly do you claim is your role in schools? You seem someone limited in your understanding of the basics around equalities, duty of care, normal bullying policies etc

This is grossly unfair! Speak to the governors and like someone else suggested go to the local paper

i don’t think she, or anyone, should be banned from prom, but this isn’t the answer. Even slightly.

illness isn’t behaviour. So it shouldn’t be included full stop in reasons to exclude someone from the prom. Actual bad behaviour I agree should potentially be a reason.

Depends on the police force. Would suggest if this is your decision you make it clear to the school beforehand and be 100% willing to do this. Otherwise it's an idle threat.

The alternative event is a better option.

She has a long term illness that affects her daily life. Seems to me that this could (and should) be classed as disability. Does that then mean the school is discriminating against your daughter, and her rights are covered under the Equalities Act?

Not sure of the answer but probably worth a call to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission to find out. Info here: www.equalityhumanrights.com/about-us/contact-us#:~:text=You%20can%20also%20call%20us,8100%20to%20arrange%20a%20call.