Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

I genuinely didn't know people relied on the compulsory school lessons for their children to learn to swim until this thread. I thought everyone sorted lessons before their child started school.

To me, covid and then moving abroad are very poor excuses, when the child was approx age 7 or 8 when lockdown started.

@WhenYouSayNothingAtAll Are they fuck proficient swimmers by 7/8. When we start in y3 with school lessons we have a lot of children that have never even been in a pool

well, there is something very wrong with that. You can’t rely on school lessons to teach kids to swim, and I don’t know of a child who didn’t start lessons way before starting school. They start with water familiarisation classes, most before they can walk so they are comfortable with water on the face, being submerged, then the monkey walk etc. Lessons start at 2yo so they are well into it before starting school! Sure, you pay but it’s a non-negotiable safety issue. Just like car seats, no one hands those out for free but everyone gets them because it’s a non-negotiable safety issue otherwise.

ETA - just remembered we didn’t need to pay for our SN kids, the swim school had reimbursement deal with government if you met a SN criteria until they reached a certain level of proficiency, then it cut out. One of mine had 1:1 for about a year until they were able to transition to a class setting (still with their dedicated teacher), and that was free. It was just ungodly hours for anything 1:1 as it had to be outside normal swim school hours so you were at the pool to be in the water by 7am on Sat/sun, which was a real bitch when DH and I worked around each other (usually only one parent home at a time), so all the kids had to be dragged out of bed and off to pool even though their lessons may have been several hours later. But that’s what you do so all of your kids can swim!

Swimming family here…. I recommend you reach out to your local competitive swimming club and ask them which of their coaches also does private lessons on the QT. They will have access to pool time and will be really strong teachers.

Another possibility is to find the nearest private school to you that has a swimming pool. They will have teachers and coaches who do private lessons on the side. You need to phone them and speak to the person in charge of swimming. Don’t just rely on websites and google searches.

You may have to pay as much as £50/hr but this is an absolutely essential life skill.

Do you ever go on holiday? You may well find that in other regions there will be week long learn to swim courses during the school holidays.

I was astonished when a teacher told me there were lots of non-swimmers in my DC’s 14 year old cohort who couldn’t join in on activity weeks. This is terrible.

can't you just take him yourself? swimming lessons help with form etc but at the end of the day it isn't rocket science. Billions of people have learned to swim over the centuries without ever having a formal lesson.

go at a quiet time so he won't be embarrassed and just hold him up, then use the boards to practice kicking etc. He doesn't need to have perfect form just to be able to keep himself afloat.
Ask one of the lifeguards at the pool if they'll give you some pointers, or a family friend who is a good swimmer, or whatever.

If you're blaming covid, if he's 12/13 now, he would have been too old for the standard lessons aged 7-9 anyway, because most children start much earlier, so it's not really an excuse. Were you just expecting the school to teach him, because that would never have worked even if covid hadn't happened - there are very few children who are literally taught to swim in the 10 half hour sessions in year 3 or whatever - they've all either been learning for years or just splash around the shallow end.

Even if you have spent the past two years (really?) trying to get him lessons with no luck (I can't believe that there are literally no private tutors near you that would do 5 hours with him), you could have been trying to teach him yourself while you searched.

Not necessarily a protection against getting into difficulty in a lake though. Water can be suddenly cold, they may get tangled in plants, get cramp or hit their head on something. Perhaps a non-swimmer would stick to splashing around well in their depth.

A young boy of 16 drowned in a lake near me a few months ago. I walk past the lake a lot and I always think about him. He was excited, it was hot and people were swimming.

I think it’s essential children learn to swim.

Teach him yourself
I taught all mine to swim ,we were home educating ,so no free school swimming lessons for us .
Check when your pool has free sessions and just take him , every spare minute you have
Mine picked it up really quickly

Hotel pools would have availability. I've just looked in our area and found 3 from the first 4 hotels that have availability for 121 private lessons. He wouldn't need many. Or you could pay the subs to join and teach him. The nearest to us is 32 per month for swimming so 64 for both (maybe cheaper for children) . If you went twice a week that's 8 quid a session...

I really struggle to believe there are no private lessons available in your area. We live in a very rural town out in the sticks and I can think of at least three private providers who I see regularly advertising on fb groups etc. Have you asked local hotels with pools whether they have outside instructors who give private lessons, as most of the private instructors I know use hotel pools.

@Thoughtfulgolondrina do you have a david Lloyds anywhere close? ours has swimming teachers who also do adult lessons (but isn’t advertised as doing so!)
We had to join DL for swimming lessons as everyone else has years on waiting lists and /or offers slots at 2pm on a weekday (when kids are in school)….

If you’re willing to pay, I’m sure you could find private low ratio swimming lessons. DD1 does lessons with a 1:3 ratio at a private swimming school but they are £15 a lesson. However she needs that smaller setting to progress, she wouldn’t get on in one of the big local authority classes (unfortunately for our bank balance). I’d try to find somewhere like that but the most important thing is always just taking them yourself. That’s where the majority of progress happens between lessons. Make it something you do every Sunday morning or something for example.

Why don't you just teach him yourself? Take him to the pool. Get in the pool. Show him how to swim. It doesn't massively matter at this stage if he has good technique, he just needs to be able to move in the water and not drown. A few weeks of going to the pool every day, starting with building water confidence- ducking his head under, floating on his back etc. and progressing to actual strokes and he will be able to do 50m.

If you consider swimming a ‘life skill’ how has your child reached the age of 12/13 without learning how to swim? You chose to take your kid overseas

OP talk to the school bout what he will be doing if he is not in the water. They should have some provision for non swimmers or those who cannot go in the water for other reasons. I'm not sure many year 8 girls with a period will want to be in the water although I know they have better options that were available to me.

Re learning to swim.

If money is not an issue have a look at local hotels with pools and teach him yourself or find a swimming instructor who will teach outside their usual classes.

That was a long way of saying I would not send a non swimmer who has already been rescued once from nearly drowning on a watersports based school trip. It will be awful for him; use it to motivate him if he is nervous. One step at a time.

I wonder if having been out of the country and perhaps not linked in with other school muns it might be hard to know how/where to access lessons for a boy who isn't the right age/skill set for typical group lessons.

You have a few really good options.

The best is to take him yourself, either with the book recommended above or YouTube videos. He will pick up the basics quickly at his age; this is something you can do yourself starting today.

Look at: state secondary schools, grammar schools and private/public schools in your area that have a pool. Find out who runs the lessons. Call them and ask about 1 to 1 for a Yr 8 complete beginner.

Look at gyms (Nuffield as recommended above) or hotel health clubs in your area. Loads rent out the pool for lessons. Again, find out who runs the lessons, call and ask about one to ones.

There are also private companies that offer lessons; again call them, explain the situation. Even where we are, these run in very rural locations eg in a pool on someone's farm!

We have also been swimming, seen teachers doing the lessons in the pool and asked if they have time themselves or a recommendation for a one to one teacher.

We also live in an area where swimming lessons get very booked up and have had success with all these routes. The best option though would be just a few one to ones supplemented by just taking him swimming to practice, bit like learning to drive!

Good luck!

The OP says she has been willing to drive any distance that can be done there and back in one day to get her ds lessons, yet she’s strangely unwilling to tell us her basic location. Just the county would be helpful! She’d be totally unidentifiable and it’s highly likely Mumsnet would come up with several suggestions.

anyone else smell BS?

How long do you have until the residential? IME you usually have the best part of a school year from signing up to the trip itself to give parents a chance to pay. Assuming that you haven't even said yes to the trip yet, doesn't that give you ages to get him lessons?

Have you posted on a local FB group for recommendations? People always tag the teachers they know for things like this.

This. You also say you’re willing to throw money at it - and yet you haven’t, even though adult lessons are available. You could also have just been taking him to a swimming pool for fun for the last few years and teaching him the basics yourself. He’s even ‘nearly drowned’ and still you’ve done nothing?

I’m guessing you can’t swim either op?

Assuming the residential is this month or next, you cannot be certain that a crash course can bring results in time.

When I read of your DS having to be rescued, that for me was enough to argue he should not go.

Boogie boarding and surfing are for competent swimmers. No, even with life jacket. Example, rowing or kayaking swim 100m and thread water 5 mins is required at some places. The issue is the group size, DC did Devon activity and one was swim to buoy, got there 20 mins before the entire group due to being a fast swimmer and waited for 1 group leader helping their group of 7 others. So overseeing is not focus just on your child.
Ask for a competent swimmer at six form or university to do one to one teacher. Pay for one to one teaching and view it as a life skill.

The burning question which the OP has failed to answer is: Does the activity trip require a minimum swimming ability (eg 25 metres) for students? It seems odd that a trip which is totally based around water based sports and activities wouldn’t. And if there is a requirement, then the answer is simple: the OP’s son can’t go.

if there isn’t a requirement, then it sounds like alternative activities will be provided for certain sessions.

here’s an idea OP: talk to the school! Find out if students need to be swimmers to go on the trip! It must be taking place soon because Year 8 will be over in about 7 weeks!

While you’re at it, talk to some of those other year 8 parents whose children had the same COVID restrictions as your son, and who live in the same locality as you so are also suffering the 2 year wait lists for swimming lessons!

basically - the account given by the OP is full of holes. Oh and swimming pools were not shut for 2 years due to COVID.

if there’s any truth at all in the OPs account then fgs start taking your son to a swimming pool. You’re the parent. You say he’s already nearly drowned once before at the beach - this is when he was several years younger so wtaf were you doing as parents? First thing I’d be doing is taking my kids to a pool and giving them the basics of water safety. You don’t need to be a swimming coach to teach how to tread water, float on your back or do basic strokes.

Please please prioritise teaching your DC to
swim. It’s a huge safety issue and also - as you’re now discovering- a social limiting problem too. Covid made things tricky but not impossible- as you’ve mentioned his peers are going and swimming, they had the same limitations during Covid and managed to learn to swim.
I appreciate that lessons aren’t cheap and not everyone can afford to pay for them, but I’d ditch the residential this year and use the money saved to find a private 1-2-1 tutor or small group crash course to teach him to swim ASAP.

And yet…

The report states that only 70% of Year 7 pupils (aged 11-12) can swim competently, confidently and proficiently over a distance of at least 25m.

So much older children, over a much smaller distance.

It also varies massively by area and levels of deprivation.