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Original poster

11+ and mental health

30 replies

Rahatr · 28/04/2025 10:12

To those who have DC who prepared well for the 11+ and got to go to good grammar schools or private schools how did their 11+ preparation affect their mental health?

OP posts:
Albertine130 · 28/04/2025 13:18

.

SamPoodle123 · 28/04/2025 13:16

@Rahatr I think it depends on your parents and school you attend. My dc both did well for 11+ and did not have stress around it. But, their school was removed from the 11+ so they felt no stress about it. Only a small group did it and children were supportive about it when speaking. I think the parents are the ones that might feel more stress of it. And as long as you do not pass it on to the children, then they can get through it without much stress.

Original poster
Rahatr · 28/04/2025 12:25

I'm in my mid 20s and the 11+ absolutely wrecked me mental health wise. Hours of tuition, past papers and getting shouted at. Not ever been allowed to relax at the school holidays. Constant 11+ papers and tution.

Being drilled into me that if I went to the local comprehensive my life would be shit. (The school wasn't very good, the people weren't very bright and the kids were not well behaved)

I remember crying when not getting a scholarship at one of the private schools. I think I also got told "well you should have worked harder".

Thankfully I went to a good state grammar, got good GCSEs and A-levels and smashed uni

OP posts:
SneakyScarves · 28/04/2025 10:25

It may depend on where you live, but if there is a definite backup option (state or private) that you’re all ok with, that really helps to take the pressure off. We had those options, and so our DC went into selective school exams relatively relaxed.

SheilaFentiman · 28/04/2025 10:16

DS1 was in a very bad way with stress by the time of the exams - he was successful in getting in.

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