Tiffin girls school

igglepiggleadventures · 2025-04-10T09:28:00+00:00

Changed my username so it's not too outing. Child has a place at Tiffin Girls school that we have not been able to reject yet. She also has an accepted independent school place - not going to say where but really a top 10 school in the UK. Ranking isn't so important to us but we know she needs to be in an academic environment and stretched. DH and I always thought she would be better placed in an independent school, she is quite relaxed and needs to be challenged. She is bright and resilient, but not competitive at all and as a summer born still quite immature and needs a nurturing environment. She needs to be told to get things done. At least as parents that's what we thought and why we accepted the senior school of our choice. She has been going to a private school since reception and we have been very happy with all the school had to offer. However DD is not so excited about the independent school. She wants to go to Tiffin. I think it comes from peer pressure (because everybody thinks it's such a great achievement) and a close friend going too. Also logistically very straightforward to commute, so she doesn't understand why we wouldn't let her go there. I don't think she understands well what differences there could be between a state and an independent school. School fees have always been a stretch but we still can afford it. The current economic climate does worry me because what if one of us loses a job? There is no inheritance or support we could get from grandparents. WWYD? I don't want to lose a term's fee so if we change our mind we need to make it now.

Original poster

igglepiggleadventures · 27/10/2025 13:49

@FitnessIsTheOnlyWealth we went with one of the top 10 private schools in the UK (similar to the Atom top 100 list shows you). A girls' school.
They're all very very similar (and also different) and DD had three schools from that list so choice was just based on preference and gut feel.

OP posts:

FitnessIsTheOnlyWealth · 25/10/2025 13:57

@igglepiggleadventures do you mind saying which indie school you chose?

Tigermummy123321 · 09/10/2025 17:34

I think the same as the lady above. You already seem to have decided. Things you say like 'we always thought she's a better fit for independent ' and comments about cultures and academics at the school and on the thread (of which there are none- just people trying to help you). Quite frankly how anyone can say their child is a 'fit for an Indepdent' is a broad stroke statement and I think does show some prejudices. The following comments I also agree are quite insulting, especially against people commenting to help you when you have missed vital info that's needed to advise such as which school etc. Quite frankly it sounds like your daughter is battling a prejudice you hold if I am being honest. It can be more obvious than you think and sounds like the school wouod be better off without you as a parent.

Neve123 · 02/06/2025 16:56

@igglepiggleadventures - Apologies for changing the topic...pl can u advice which tutor, online website or material u used , we are targeting Tiffin Girls.
Any advise will be helpful .

Neve123 · 30/05/2025 14:32

igglepiggleadventures - Apologies for changing the topic...pl can u advice which tutor, online website or material u used , we are targeting Tiffin Girls.

Any advise will be helpful .

555Stars · 23/04/2025 17:18

@igglepiggleadventures That’s great news! That you all are very happy with the decision you have come to. It is a big decision and now you can relax knowing you all feel content with this choice.

Now you can spend the time enjoying these finals months & start getting excited about the new school. Honestly, I’m so glad all of it is over, I changed 2 days before the deadline and I’m so glad that I did!

Thanks for replying back and giving closure-something that is a rarity on here!

Original poster

igglepiggleadventures · 22/04/2025 10:26

Yes I have emailed the school.

OP posts:

SleepyRooster · 22/04/2025 09:48

Great decision. Please let the TGS place go asap!

Ddakji · 22/04/2025 07:30

Araminta1003 · 10/04/2025 13:34

Given everything you say (financial stretch, easy commute, what your DD prefers) I would go Tiffin, and save the money in an account (like an ISA) for her to use towards a future house deposit and her uni fees and maintenance.
She can blame you either way later on 1) for wasting money or 2) for not overriding her choice. Have an open conversation with her about it. Usually if a child knows what they want at age 10/11, they are quite determined and it all works out for the best. Do not underestimate an easy commute.
Most girls at schools like Tiffin are highly motivated and do well. You can supplement with extra hobbies and travel as well.

I think this is terrible advice. If the parents decide on a school it is 100% their decision and their choice and responsibility for that should never be abdicated to a child.

My 10/11 year old “knew” which school she wanted. It didn’t work out so we moved her. At no point did I do anything other than blame myself for not sticking to my guns and sending her to the school she ended up in in the first place.

@igglepiggleadventures I would agree that an easy commute is more important that peer pressure - so often they make a whole new set of friends anyway!

MarchingFrogs · 22/04/2025 07:26

@igglepiggleadventures please say that you have remembered to reject the Tiffin offer formally, having finally made your decision?

Original poster

igglepiggleadventures · 21/04/2025 23:20

@555Stars we sat down with DD, looked at websites, extra curricular activities (TGS has an actual timetable for this term on their website and the options looked pretty decent to cover DD's interests, very helpful), social media accounts and the pictures, fees, commute, curriculum, university destinations, rankings, exam results, what other things we could do as a family or offer her if she goes to the grammar school, what we may need to sacrifice if she goes to the independent one (we did reassure her it's something we still could afford with almost no financial worries, in case she got worried about that) and so much more.
I tried to be as neutral as possible so she's not swayed either way (I know deep down I prefer the independent school, but the university destinations were really great at Tiffin, the easy commute was a big bonus and it being a free school was so tempting... so kept telling her I really liked both, which I truly did during the conversation). Got to the level where we even discussed that she might have to audition for the orchestra in the independent and not get in for the first few years, but she might pretty easily join it in Tiffin and actually feel good about being at a higher level. We also discussed the schools we rejected in March, and went over again the reasons that led us to these two that we have now. Also discussed what her current setting is closer to, and what benefitted her and what she might have missed out from being in that particular setting. In the end DD said she wanted to go to the independent school. I gave her another week to think it through and confirmed she hadn't changed her mind.
So the decision has been made and we're all very happy. We should have done this a lot sooner, and as a mum I feel bad to have kept her confused. Done and dusted now, and it now it feels more like we made the decision together.
I really appreciate the help from this thread, it was all very helpful for widening my narrow perspectives.

OP posts:

555Stars · 21/04/2025 14:06

@igglepiggleadventures
So what did your family decide in the end?

Tiswa · 14/04/2025 10:33

clary · 12/04/2025 08:59

Opportunities for sports matches. how good are the school orchestras/ensembles and how often they play together.. how much opportunity for drama and to be on stage (or work behind the stage).. are there team building trips beg of year 7.. do they have an actual MFL speaker who teaches them the language.. do they have sufficient opportunities for lab work in science.. any debating workshops or lessons.. what about textiles.. design.. technology.. or food tech.

I taught at a very standard comprehensive in quite a poor area with a very mixed intake... Tiffin it was not.

We offered all of those things except a debating lesson (and even then we had discussions in form time - but that's prob not what you mean).

There were opportunities in textiles, food tech, DT, lots of students took these for GCSE and did very well. Strong group of "actual MFL speakers" to teach French, German and Spanish. Lots of opps for sports matches. very strong drama offering with many chances to perform and work backstage.

So I am sure all of these are offered at Tiffin.

Yes there is as DS state as well

OP there are undoubtedly more opportunities at private but certainly state is not without sports fixtures, drama productions and actual MFL speakers!

user1471548040 · 13/04/2025 20:46

My daughter is Yr12 at Tiffin. She also had offers at Yr 7 for the top independents - we have never regretted choosing Tiffin. The education is of course excellent, but the music and drama also fantastic, and they seem to do well at sports too. Yes of course the facilities are not as shiny and top of the range as the private schools but bells and whistles aren't everything. And there are tiger parents but you're going to get that at the top independents too (possibly even more so as the fees shoot up and the pressure increases to get results). From our experience (we also have a child at a private secondary) the girls seem a lot more down to earth / less "alpha" than many of the girls I've encountered at private schools, with hugely wealthy families. Tiffin's pastoral care has been great, the school is well-run and there have been plenty of school trips. Good luck with your decision.

SleepyRooster · 13/04/2025 19:46

Send her private. You’re not 100% convinced by TGS and the minor quibbles will end up worrying you. It’s a brilliant school but I don’t believe it will satisfy parents who would’ve deep down preferred an indie.

JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen · 12/04/2025 09:02

Go for Tiffin. I had one child at a top 10 private school and another at a grammar similar to Tiffin. Same quality of education. The music at the grammar was excellent, and the sport was good too, but you also have more time for music and sport out of school if you’re at a state school. I am all for trusting children to choose the right school for them. Tiffin won’t stretch her any less, and she’ll probably have a better shot at the top universities if she is coming from a state school.

clary · 12/04/2025 08:59

Opportunities for sports matches. how good are the school orchestras/ensembles and how often they play together.. how much opportunity for drama and to be on stage (or work behind the stage).. are there team building trips beg of year 7.. do they have an actual MFL speaker who teaches them the language.. do they have sufficient opportunities for lab work in science.. any debating workshops or lessons.. what about textiles.. design.. technology.. or food tech.

I taught at a very standard comprehensive in quite a poor area with a very mixed intake... Tiffin it was not.

We offered all of those things except a debating lesson (and even then we had discussions in form time - but that's prob not what you mean).

There were opportunities in textiles, food tech, DT, lots of students took these for GCSE and did very well. Strong group of "actual MFL speakers" to teach French, German and Spanish. Lots of opps for sports matches. very strong drama offering with many chances to perform and work backstage.

So I am sure all of these are offered at Tiffin.

Chris705 · 12/04/2025 07:25

igglepiggleadventures · 11/04/2025 10:57

Thank you all!

Yes we've been to the open day and really liked how the girls are calm and composed. The music department seemed pretty good but I have to admit, I wasn't really that interested at that point, so failed to ask these questions. I also wasn't the expert of asking the right questions at that point which I think I'm pretty good at now!
The induction day is in July and we do need to make the decision by next week so that's too late. I've been looking at an instagram account and whilst it was helpful, it didn't really have a lot of updates.

I actually know a teacher at the school who said she won't send her child to there because the facilities are tired and the teachers are really stretched. I don't mind facilities but a teacher saying that, is something I have been thinking about a lot.

Hi, TGS does not post much on instagram these days but they have a Bluesky account and you can follow them there. Plenty of updates on different activities, trips, achievements, etc. Worth checking. Also - if you check TGS website, you will see a timetable of all extracurriculars there, I think the selection is great. My daughter is in year 7, she got offers from a few top independents but we selected Tiffin and are very happy with the school, academically and also with all extras. Daughter has a very nice friendship group there too.

Tiswa · 11/04/2025 23:50

Secondaryspectator · 11/04/2025 23:15

I know for a fact that pastoral care in all free schools are quite stretched due to lack of funding compared to private schools. So that’s one more dimension to consider. If everything is good, it’s all fine. If things start going south due to high pressure in super competitive schools, than you might struggle.

Not necessarily the care DD got was amazing they had a lot of in site care and she got therapy sessions etc straight away.

DS school also has a lot as well

Secondaryspectator · 11/04/2025 23:15

I know for a fact that pastoral care in all free schools are quite stretched due to lack of funding compared to private schools. So that’s one more dimension to consider. If everything is good, it’s all fine. If things start going south due to high pressure in super competitive schools, than you might struggle.

Original poster

igglepiggleadventures · 11/04/2025 11:06

@EqualityDuck Wow that is AMAZING! Thank you for sharing all of that. It is exactly what I've been looking for.
Calling out to current parents of Tiffin girls - would you say the girls at the school now would have a similar experience?

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EqualityDuck · 11/04/2025 11:01

I went to Tiffin (from a private prep school) whilst my closest friends from prep school went to Putney High (private), St Mary's Ascot (private boarding) and St Paul's Girls (private). Some of my friends now teach at Tiffin.

The experiences I had at Tiffin were essentially the same as the ones they had, except I got better grades. We all got rejected from Oxbridge!

Tiffin was AMAZING for drama - I went on to perform professionally as did lots of our alumni. Loads of school productions plus opportunities to perform professionally, also with the boys' school. Also there was a trip at least every month (highly subsidised) to the theatre - both West End and more experimental off West End stuff.

Residential trips - there was loads in Y7 (bonding ones) and these continued into Year 8 and 9 (went abroad to France etc) plus ski trip, sports tours etc

Sports - incredible - competing in nationals for hockey and netball and in PE we got to do yoga, self defence, loads of brilliant sports. Plus there is a canoeing and watersports activity centre across the road so summer term you would do PE there. Also you could do Duke of Edinburgh either on foot or in canoes and if you did canoes you went to do the expedition in Malta.

Music - orchestras and choirs galore, like Jazz, Chamber, full orchestra, musical theatre - multiple musical activities every day, plus involvement in the Borough-wide orchestra which then toured internationally. Lots of girls went on to Oxbridge as choral scholars.

MFL - excellent. I did French and Spanish A Level, of course there were native speakers teaching!!!! And in Feb half term we went to language school in a French or Spanish town which was fab.

Art/design tech - there is a kiln for clay, a whole metalworking department where we made jewellery, textiles, excellent fine art dept.

Science - yes there's practical lab work (sorry I was more a humanities and arts person but we definitely did plenty of practicals in Y7 to 11).

My grades were better than my friends who went private (straight A*s) and I was not someone you'd have predicted that for - I actually only got into Tiffin on waiting list as didn't score highly enough on 11+ initially. Also, I'm the only one of us who is still actually friends with the friends I made at secondary school - the other girls who went to private school seem not to have kept in touch so much. Tiffin is a really bonding experience and a lot of effort goes in via the house system to ensure close friendships.

The hardest thing for me was the commute and that can be so daunting for young girls. If your daughter wants to go to Tiffin and the commute is better then I really really encourage her to do so. I'm really proud I went there and couldn't have had a better time. Can't believe it was free.

Mumofteenandtween · 11/04/2025 10:58

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 11/04/2025 10:34

I’m always slightly suspicious of stories like this from friends. Did they really ask him to leave in his U6 year solely for low results or was there something else that they don’t want to admit to? I wouldn’t just take the parents word for this, they really want to save face and not admit it was for drugs/ misbehaving.

Even in independent schools there are processes to follow asking someone to leave.

Show quote history

We didn’t hear the story from him / his family. They went completely quiet on us for quite a while around that time. (I inconsiderately went to the local comp, got 4 As and got into Cambridge.)

I heard it from other people who also went to the same school as him. Many many of them. The impression I got was he was been treated as a cautionary tale. (This was the 90s - no GDPR in those days.) So as a minimum that was the official story being told. If there had been any rumours of drugs / misbehaviour / anything at all interesting at all I think that they would have told me. (Met in a pub. They were from a boys school. Me and my friends were girls from the local comp and really rather pretty. They all fell over themselves to tell us all about it with great drama when I asked if they knew him,)

Also knowing him as I did I can’t imagine him being kicked out for misbehaviour. He was a really nice bloke - he just Couldn’t Be Arsed. I guess drugs is far from impossible. His personality was not too far from “total stoner”. Although from what I know of people who went to that school until 16 then came to the sixth form I was at is that if they kicked out for drugs there wouldn’t be many people left!

Original poster

igglepiggleadventures · 11/04/2025 10:57

Thank you all!

Yes we've been to the open day and really liked how the girls are calm and composed. The music department seemed pretty good but I have to admit, I wasn't really that interested at that point, so failed to ask these questions. I also wasn't the expert of asking the right questions at that point which I think I'm pretty good at now!
The induction day is in July and we do need to make the decision by next week so that's too late. I've been looking at an instagram account and whilst it was helpful, it didn't really have a lot of updates.

I actually know a teacher at the school who said she won't send her child to there because the facilities are tired and the teachers are really stretched. I don't mind facilities but a teacher saying that, is something I have been thinking about a lot.

OP posts:

Tiswa · 11/04/2025 10:44

igglepiggleadventures · 11/04/2025 10:34

I heard TGS sixth form also asks girls to leave if they don't meet some standards, from local mums with older children. Which was not what I was expecting from a state school, but I don't even know if that's true.

@bettyjane thanks for another excellent point. Also I did notice a LOT of Tiffin girls go to study medicine and good universities. Very impressive destinations overall.

Like all sixth forms offers are conditional every state sixth form has them to do A levels they just vary

so the lowest in our area is 4/5s ranging to 7s for Dd at grammar with most needing 6 at the subject (and maths if science)

Tiffin looks actually to need 6/7 as well but if you want the sciences 8s and 9s