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Original poster

Move or private school?

35 replies

EmsRob · 30/03/2025 13:23

I’m sure this topic has been discussed several times, but I’m interested in people’s insights and experience on whether to spend money on private school or move house.

We have a decent family home in a nice suburban area but would ideally like a bit more space, bigger garden and quieter location. Our mortgage is currently quite small.

Our current house is less than a 10min walk to our kids’ primary school (currently year 3 and reception) - we like the school and our children are happy there so we don’t want to move them from this school if we move, which obviously restricts distance. We don’t mind a drive but with my youngest still in reception we are talking many years of driving back and forth so probably max 20-30min drive.

Our other issue is secondary schools as we live in a 11+ area. Currently, we live right between two highly competitive grammars (one girls and one boys).

Our eldest is doing ok at school, but she’s probably dyslexic and not overly academic so we don’t think she would get in to the girls grammar and it probably wouldn’t be the right environment for her.

But we don’t have a great selection of state comps nearby. The only state comps we are guaranteed are pretty poorly performing. There is one that is doing ok, which she might get into, but that is a gamble and it’s still below national averages.

We have therefore been looking at some private schools that cater to all abilities. I think my daughter would thrive at some of these as she’s more into extra curricular activities, which they have excellent facilities for. She’s also quite shy so can be a bit forgotten in large state classes and a smaller class size would probably suit her.

It is too early to know what will suit my son, but any calculations on private school costs we are assuming will be for him too as I’d like to give them the same opportunity.

Having had our house valued and having looked around for what we want, plus cost of stamp duty, moving will double the size of our mortgage - and therefore probably rules out private school as well as lumping us with a big mortgage.

But moving doesn’t necessarily solve the state school problem as we would be looking to stay close enough to get back to the primary school for my son, meaning we would still be in an 11+ area - so although we could pick somewhere a bit closer to an ok state comp, there are no guarantees.

My question is would you move to the house / location you want a bit closer to an ok to state comp or would you stay put and pay for private school?

OP posts:
babymaybebaby · 30/03/2025 17:51

Where do you live that houses near good state schools are 1.5m?! We are in London & moved from inner to outer, cheaper then private & more space.

Original poster
EmsRob · 30/03/2025 17:45

clary · 30/03/2025 16:07

You seem to have completely discounted moving to a non-grammar area with better achieving comps (hardly surprising tbf that the sec mods in a grammar area don’t produce the top results) on the basis that you want your DC to stay at their current primary.

I would certainly look at an area suitable for your work commutes which is not grammar and has good secondaries – then consider a move to the catchment of one. Your kids could move to the local primary. The one they are at is not the only primary that you will like, and I would definitely consider this if I were you.

For the same spend (I presume!) everyone could have a better life with the bigger house and just-as-good schools. Admittedly you would lose the small-class benefit of private. If you think that is key then I suggest looking at local private schools as they are not all the same. I mean obviously but it still bears saying.

Edited

Yes we have discounted that, although I didn’t explain why fully. We have even considered changing jobs and moving 500 miles away!

We are pretty much surrounded by grammar areas, so we would have to move quite fa. I’ve done a lot of research and got stats on over 100 schools in areas within a 1.5hr (one way) commute of our work places. I don’t particularly want that long a commute as I would barely see my children during the week but I’m prepared to consider it (current commute is 1 hour so adding 1hr a day on).

Of the state schools that are at least national average where we could afford the type of house we like within this commute, we’re not sold on the areas - they are often busier or parts of them / nearby is a bit grim. So again not really the lifestyle we want.

We also have a lot of friends and connections to the local area, which being within half an hour of we can still make work. Looking an hour or plus away then we would really leave this all behind.

But what fundamentally stops us looking at anywhere over half an hour away is my parents. My dad is in his 70s and not well. I strongly believe what keeps him going is getting to see his grandkids a couple of times a week and I just can’t take that away from him.

So, when considering all factors - the lifestyle we want, commute, disruption to our kids / risk of their being an issue at a new primary school and family and friends - half an hour further out than where we currently live is the right balance for us, if we move at all.

OP posts:
mummyofhyperDD · 30/03/2025 16:39

I’d go for the private school option - cheaper than moving house, and you can then chose the schools that best suit your children which is an incredible gift - I feel the teen years are so important and being at school they are thriving at will set them up for life. I moved my autistic and ADHD daughter at year 3 into a private school (earlier than planned as was planning only from year 7), it’s been brilliant for her - she’s at a small, not particularly academic school. She’s thriving in the small classes and in an environment where everyone gets to participate in everything and represent the school - not only the top 10% of achievers. I’m so relieved to be able to give her this opportunity. I went to a private secondary and it opened a world of opportunities for me I wouldn’t have otherwise

Original poster
EmsRob · 30/03/2025 16:30

YourPeppyWriter · 30/03/2025 13:39

If it’s a pure financial decision I’d need to see the sums. Round our way with the taxes etc just the cost of moving you’d be buying years and years of fees before even buying a stick of new furniture.

Private if you can afford it you get a lot for your money - extra curricular and pastoral and more of an opportunity for input with the school, extra help for dyslexia etc. I’d stay put and do private.

Thanks, yes the taxes are the issue - we’re looking at borrowing about another £150k-£200k plus circa £100k on stamp duty. That would obviously cost more over the life of the mortgage.

This would be about £2,000 extra in mortgage repayments a month if we increase the mortgage term. We currently have a low fix so our existing mortgage will probably go up by circa £500 a month next year but without an increase in term. We currently over pay it by £250 anyway.

Versus £30k per child per year for senior school (inc wrap around care/transport and VAT) so £300k spent over 8yrs if we move them for sixth form.

We would start saving for school next year to get ahead of ourselves so £300,000k / 10 years is £2,500 per month for schools fees - but we would also have our existing mortgage to pay, which will still go up too.

I’m assuming the new house would be an investment / appreciate in value while education is an investment in our children - but we then wouldn’t have as much invested in property if we need to release equity at retirement.

OP posts:
clary · 30/03/2025 16:07

You seem to have completely discounted moving to a non-grammar area with better achieving comps (hardly surprising tbf that the sec mods in a grammar area don’t produce the top results) on the basis that you want your DC to stay at their current primary.

I would certainly look at an area suitable for your work commutes which is not grammar and has good secondaries – then consider a move to the catchment of one. Your kids could move to the local primary. The one they are at is not the only primary that you will like, and I would definitely consider this if I were you.

For the same spend (I presume!) everyone could have a better life with the bigger house and just-as-good schools. Admittedly you would lose the small-class benefit of private. If you think that is key then I suggest looking at local private schools as they are not all the same. I mean obviously but it still bears saying.

Newgirls · 30/03/2025 13:43

You could wait until you see what school she gets? If it’s private, then move?

YourPeppyWriter · 30/03/2025 13:39

If it’s a pure financial decision I’d need to see the sums. Round our way with the taxes etc just the cost of moving you’d be buying years and years of fees before even buying a stick of new furniture.

Private if you can afford it you get a lot for your money - extra curricular and pastoral and more of an opportunity for input with the school, extra help for dyslexia etc. I’d stay put and do private.

3WildOnes · 30/03/2025 13:33

We couldn't afford to buy a house in the catchment for the outstanding state school near us so we opted for private school.

cosygingerkitten · 30/03/2025 13:30

I would see if there is a local private school you like for your daughter, and if yes then stay put and wait and see what happens for your son. Schools and their catchments change, grammar may turn out to be a good option for him etc.
Otherwise if private looks too expansive or there isn’t one you like locally I would move further for good state primary and secondary and move the kids now.

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2025 13:24

It was cheaper and easier for us to pay for Private.

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