Do we pull DD out of her show to focus on GCSEs?

I think it is up to the parent to help them “see the bigger picture”. Dd1 paused her Saturday job from March year 11. Started it up again after the exams but getting the highest grades she could was more important than working in a cafe for abit of extra money for those few months. It took out all of Saturday and she was tired afterwards. She is set on a very competitive course and career and yes they do look at gcse results.

GCSEs are very content heavy now more do than when we were at school and just being “very bright” isn’t enough.

Ridiculous pressure. I used to be a teacher. Most kids who got 7s in mocks managed to get 9s in the real thing.

If want to push your daughter away, be unduly harsh and alienate her — plus remove a much needed chance for stress relief and enrichment — sure, go ahead.

Highly recommend taking a very large chill pill.

Pushing themselves and gentle encouraging to do so- yes.

Forcing them to withdraw from the things they love and using threats to coerce them into revising- no.

Isn't good enough for what? We absolutely must not be teaching children to measure their worth by numbers on a GCSE results card. You can work bloody hard and get a 7 because your cat died the night before. As long as they learn from the experience of doing GCSEs and carry that through to the next stage in life, that's all that matters!

I really don't understand this parental need for children to get the highest grade possible. Wanting the best outcome for one's children is perfectly normal. As is all the worry about their futures.

Living your life vicariously through your children isn't at all healthy though.

But I say that married to someone who was relentlessly pressured academically, got into Oxford on an unconditional (having sat their own entrance exams way back when) and spent three years pre graduation (with a first no less) being utterly miserable because his mother stripped all the joy out of life and learning for him with her relentless hot housing.

Took him years to recover.

He's happy in his job now. Same area and pay scale as me.

With my happy clutch of As and Bs and even one C and a 2:1 from a reputable Russell Group who let you in without even glancing at your GCSEs.

There are only so many vacancies for careers in the top 2% of anything.

So where do all these grade 9 geniuses go? What happens to them?

It's like wasps in winter!

Most people end up in pretty normal jobs, with pretty normal lives.

If they're fortunate, they're happy and fulfilled with it.

You'd be crazy to do this

Whilst there, she has played in an orchestra, sung in a college chapel choir, rowed/coxed, danced and played football (that's just the things I can remember) alongside her studies.

Same for mine, barring the football (more of a martial arts fan)

What the OP's DD needs is a really good revision schedule to be mapped out which includes the show and anything else like that to be timetabled on it. As long as she sticks to it, she will be fine

Maybe. It depends if that's how she learns best. One of mine does better with "whatever I feel like learning right now", though that does make me fretful as a parent!

NRTFT but when DD1 took her GCSEs, she had a music group one evening per week and dance all morning on a Saturday. Didn't do her any harm as she achieved 12 A star grades. At A level, she had the music group, dance on a Saturday and a Monday evening and she worked on Sunday afternoons in a shop. She achieved the grades to get into Cambridge where she is now completing a PhD. Whilst there, she has played in an orchestra, sung in a college chapel choir, rowed/coxed, danced and played football (that's just the things I can remember) alongside her studies.

What the OP's DD needs is a really good revision schedule to be mapped out which includes the show and anything else like that to be timetabled on it. As long as she sticks to it, she will be fine, and will be developing valuable skills in balancing workload.

I am surprised the school allowed a Y11 to be cast in the main role for a summer play.

I’m afraid I disagree with most of the responses here. GCSEs are quite content heavy and she will get out what she puts in. That’s all there is to it. Yes, there is time for other things, like exercise and some socialising - but the play is a heavy commitment. As well as the in person sessions, she’ll presumably have to learn the lines/songs etc?

Depends whether "plus a Saturday" means "all day every Saturday" or "plus one Saturday before the show" or "extra run-through for the leads on some Saturdays". We've seen any mix of the above.

Anyway, the OP and her daughter have long since finished their chat and cake (and probably brushed up the biology and a few hours of French) while a bunch of randoms argue over the best way to annoy our children.

She says it’s Saturdays and weeknights. Fine for any school years but not 11 and 13 spring terms. I’m not a high pressure mum but no that’s too much with exams

It's a school show so shouldn't be as bonkers as theatre school.

Theatre schools are famously time absorbing though and demand commitment from the pupils this isn’t a weekly hockey match or a dance class. They take an entire day out of the weekend and the run up to the show is intense. . Numerous Friends kids were heavily involved in theatre some went on to do it in 6th form but they all took a break from it for the gcse year. Too much. She can do it year 12

I wouldn’t be interested in them getting an extra 5% unless that would get them a higher grade.

I do think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect DC to work hard to achieve the best grades they are capable of.

You are coming across as a little obsessed here.

Many adults had parents or remember someone with parents who responded to a bunch of very good results with 'what happened to the other 5%?'

It's not a good memory. Nor is it the only way to raise a child.

That’s totally irrelevant in my view

Don't do this. It will be her way of relaxing and enjoying herself while coping with the stress of exams. Not allowing her to go will just show her that all you care about are her grades and not her happiness and mental health. She can do both. She can revise hard but also do the musical theatre club. Revising all day, everyday and doing little else doesn't mean she will ace her exams. She could get burn out. Work smart not hard.

Just so you know my DD did this too. She was complacent in her mocks and just thought she could achieve her grades without revising much. She got a shock when her results came but it gave her the kick up the bum she needed and the realisation that she does need to put the time in to revise. This is what mock exams are for and she didn't make the same mistake again. She smashed her real exams!!

What grades does she need for the Sixth Form and what subjects does she want to study?

Yes....and where did I say I wasn't supporting my son? I was explaining why what to you looks like accepting laziness and mediocrity might be a parent finding the best way to get their child through exams.

It ends at a reasonable point that I think most people would recognise. Clearly 6 hours of revision every night is not a sensible approach for anyone and it’s going to lead to burnout and stress.

However, it’s not unreasonable at all to expect DC to spend a few hours at night and weekends revising this close to GCSEs. Many DC who care about their exams and futures will be doing this.

Unless there are SEN or a child is a genius, I don’t think anyone can say they tried their hardest if they’re not willing to do this.

Remember Year 11 have a long summer of relaxation ahead- ime they’ll enjoy it more if they know they’ve spent a few months working hard and pushing themselves.

Which is exactly why personal support/guidance/gentle pushing is necessary.

Don’t know anyone that is continuing full on activity / job now. It’s all about the GCSEs. Plenty of time for Saturday jobs / extra curricular after 24th June.

Well yes. We all know this is true, however 15 and 16 year olds are not known for looking at the long picture or making sensible decisions.
Most post-16 courses allow students to settle in; for some it will be a massive adjustment and they will manage, others will find it too much, others will sail through because they've got the maturity.
If a 15 year old has the self-discipline and maturity to push themselves, then that's great. If they don't....then what?

Her teacher provided you with the grades because there are vast numbers of teens who get this sort of result out of proportion. She's giving you the chance to pre-empt disappointment if you feel your dd will be upset.

On the decision, surely your dd is old enough to decide.

If she spends her spring rehearsing, she won't be revising. If, on current performance, that means she won't make the required grades then her choice is clear.

• Give up the show, revise and get into the college she wants
• Carry on with the show, get lower grades and risk losing her place.

It's time for her to grow up and take her own decisions.

Oh OK, so they no longer have to write a personal statement or attend an interview to demonstrate their personality and interests? Grade 5 and above musical instruments no longer carry UCAS points? Got it.