Girls schools

DD is at a state girls school in outer London too. I have been pleased with it - we both went to mixed schools and were unsure initially but both of us and DD loved the feel when we went round.

@badgerhawk ah no not BSG but we did look at that as well as we were thinking about moving to that area. Also a lovely school.

My DD is retaking Y10 at a girls school having been to only mixed schools beforehand. She hated the idea at first but said she loves it. This is a normal state school as well. There's so much less boy drama as they're just not there. Yes there's bitchiness but that was present aplenty at both the mixed schools she was in before.
She's not cooped up in one tiny part of the playground. Her friends were playing tag on the grass yesterday in the sun, these are 15 year old girls. Classes full of girls involved in computer science, maths, physics. All the stereotypes are true I'm afraid and I wish I'd sent her there in y7 and not listened to all the negative propaganda about bitchy girls schools.

I think the girls were far happier and freer in the girls school. The biggest example was use of outdoor space. The girls were always playing catch and as hoc games of netball in break and lunch. In the mixed school, the boys dominated the outdoor space and the girls just sat on benches and chatted.

This is exactly what I mean by boys' domination of space. We are moving area in order to dodge the super strict mixed academy that DD's primary feeds into (complete with exactly the kind of prison-style architecture you describe @BadgerHawk!)

This school actually teaches boys and girls separately in the core subjects, as they've cottoned on to the fact that boys and girls often have differing learning needs. But when we did the tour of the school last year, I noticed that there wasn't a single girl outside during break time. I asked our student guide whether break times were also segregated by sex, and she said 'Oh no, the girls just don't go out there - they sit in the cafe area'.

Obviously girls' schools, like all schools, will vary hugely, but I really like the fact that girls in a girls' school won't develop the notion that particular activities, subjects or parts of the school site aren't 'for them' just because they're female.

Depends on the school and DC. The single sex vs coed is not the factor but the school and the curriculum taught and the school culture.

And on the cliques/ bitchiness front I have seen far more of that when my DDs were at a mixed school than single sex , because some girls will inevitably look to impress any boys by putting down other girls.

I guess what I struggle with is, does attending an all girls make it harder to socialise / work with boys/men later in life, for example at uni or work? She has two sisters so other than her adult male relatives she won’t really know any boys. I did say she might want to join some mixed clubs once she starts secondary but she said she’s not bothered.

My experience is that it really doesn't. There will still be plenty of opportunities to interact with boys both at school and outside of it. The bonus is you don't have to put up with them nicking all the science practical equipment or a teacher sitting you next to the most disruptive boy in class as a means of making him behave.

I am not female (relevant here!) but I did teach at two private schools, one girls and one mixed.

i think the girls were far happier and freer in the girls school. The biggest example was use of outdoor space. The girls were always playing catch and as hoc games of netball in break and lunch. In the mixed school, the boys dominated the outdoor space and the girls just sat on benches and chatted.

And try as I might, it was really hard to get girls to do physics A level in the mixed school, whereas we had decent sized sets in the girls school.

Clearly this is anecdotal but research also backs up that girls do better in a single sex environment.

My experience of all-girls education is mixed. It's not perfect, but I think on balance the benefits outweigh the negatives.

On the plus side, there is definitely less disruptive behaviour (although not zero) and classroom activities are more accessible to the quieter and less confident pupils. There is better engagement with subjects that have been seen as "gendered" towards maleness eg Physics.

On the negative side, these schools can be really cliquey and the social side can be very difficult to navigate with the seething resentments and drama of some strong personalities who build themselves a "queen bee" position.

Have no fear of lack of interaction with boys. There will be interaction. These are teenagers with hormones. Friends have brothers. That side sorts itself out.

A girl who has been nurtured and supported and has developed confidence in an all-girls context is perfectly able to keep that confidence and continue to thrive out in a mixed-sex context after age 16.

I now work in IT, where I'm the only woman in the department, as has been the case for much of my career. I can assure you that being bitchy isn't a trait exclusive to women.

I think things like that are down to individual schools, single sex or mixed. Whatever the type of school, you have to look at whether that school will be a good school for your child, because even if there are overall trends around behaviour or academic achievement, that won't always make it the right place for a particular child.

(Though as I said, I grew up in a small rural town - there was, and still is, only one secondary school, so there was no choice unless you could afford to go private.)

DD moved from a mixed school to a girls school in year 10. That wasn’t the reason why we moved her but she says the difference is astonishing. There were a lot of very boisterous boys in her old school and I think it really did impact her learning. I’m kicking myself we didn’t choose the girls school for year 7.
The curriculum may also be different - in mixed schools it’s often skewed more towards boys interests.

I went to one and I hated it from start to end.

BUT it was the wrong school for me. It was run by nuns and we did not do 'boys' subjects. This was in the 1980s. It was bitchy central.

Were girls 'boy mad' well we went on a school holiday, on the ferry there was another school heading to the same place. Girls were literally running after the boys. Not every girl, but quite a few.

The question is will DD be happy there? Will she achieve and hopefully thrive?

I think with any of these discussions experiences vary due to the child and the school. I was completely all girls educated and didn’t know anything different. Didn’t have any experiences of negativity and I know that we were free to choose whatever subjects we wanted without feeling like we had to ‘perform’ to stereotypes. Many girls did end doing STEM subjects as a result. Also when it comes to things like sports the schools can give far more opportunity as they can hire teachers that only cater to girls rather than splitting the teachers across boys and girls sports and dilute too much. And what happens at mixed schools is a lot of the girls all end up playing football rather than sports they would perhaps have preferred.

I find it odd that people think that if you go to an all girls school that you miss socialisation with boys. I didn’t find that at all. I suppose I had a brother but aside from that I didn’t even think about that when I went I university. I just took people as people and started normal relationships when I got there.

I actually hate the tide of schools now becoming mixed. I hear people say ‘but the real world is mixed’. But the fact is school is only 8 hours a day and only part of your life. I think people who go to single sex schools are very lucky.

I went to an all girls' school, and one of my DDs did as well. Your concern that it fucks up relationships with men? No, not at all. I am sure there are some that are fucked up, but that's true in mixed sex schools too.

Me and DD both ended up doing science-heavy further ed, and I have found that I am much more confident in the workplace speaking my mind etc (as is she) which may be related to being educated in a space where there was no male / female dynamic (or what was appropriate for each sex).

For what it's worth, I see glimpses of this unpleasant behaviour from both boys and girls in the mixed school I currently work at. The boys certainly do not act as some kind of calming, peace keeping force!

This underlying misogyny is really prevalent in our society.

I did go to a girls' school, and I have worked in girls' schools and I'm a massive fan. No, girls aren't inherently bitchy, no they don't go sex-crazed from not being able to chat to (mostly ignore) boys at school.

It was a an absolute blessing for me to be able to grow up in a female centric community, and I've carried that confidence with me through life.

I went to an all girls school and had a very positive experience - I enjoyed school and did well academically. I wouldn't say it was bitchy, and I had lots of male friends at uni (and later in life) so it didn't make me shy around boys. I did maths and science A levels, so it was good for those choices to feel normal rather than unusual. I'd have been happy for DD to go to a girls school too, but she went to a mixed school as she got a sibling place at DS's school.

My dd goes to a mixed school. 99% of the disruption is caused by boys. It’s rubbish. She’s also been put off STEM subjects by boys dominating the classroom. Your dd is lucky.

I went to an all girls grammar. I have mixed feelings. Education-wise I think it was better. We had space to learn and voice our opinions without 'competing' with the boys. Socially though I really struggled. The 'mean girls' dynamic was dreadful and I think was allowed to perpetuate unchecked. I would have a best friend/group of friends in Year 7 and would walk into registration the next day to the silent treatment with no idea of what I'd done 'wrong'. Then a few days later I'd be back in the fold with no idea of what I'd done 'right'. This happened to everyone. If boys had been there to balance the dynamic I wouldn't have felt so trapped, I could easily have gravitated and made other friends who simply don't do this.

It took me until Year 9 to find a solid group of friends. Ironically we called ourselves 'the outcasts' - we were basically one from every clique that had been ostractised! Once I finally found my footing I did like it but it took a long time, and affects me to this day in social relationships.

I went to an all girls school and absolutely loved it. By the time I was leaving primary school, I was quite fed up with boys' behaviour, constantly interrupting and ruining lessons and other girls competing with each other for the attention of the boys. All of this immediately went away in a girls school. Behaviour was much better, and friendships were close and genuine. Many of my closest friends to this day are from those years.

I moved from a mixed school to all girls at sixth form
I noticed..

• clothes... the girls were a lot more expressive in clothes, dressing for themselves not what they thought they should wear
• more able to express their opinions in class
• less bothered by stereotypes
• less bitchy.
• more likely to do "boy subjects". Because everything was for girls.
• less silliness

It led to me doing a subject that was majority boys st university and it was completely fine. We didn't live in a convent, we saw boys on the way to school, at music, at sport, other extra curricular clubs, at parties... People had brothers...

My Dd loves her girls school. The girls are encouraged in everything and no one ever tells them it’s not for them. She doesn’t fear answering questions in class or participating like she did in her mixed primary. All sports are for all girls, and she’s also really into DT which might not have happened at a mixed school (going from my memories of one).

I teach in an all girls school after 20+ years in mixed. The girls are a lot more confident in lessons without the boys. They put their hands up, they are much more keen to show what they can do, more comfortable working with people who aren't their friends, less show off poor behaviour to impress the boys. Generally more compliant. I don't think the tricky behaviours e.g. bullying etc are any worse than in mixed.