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Original poster

Did I make a mistake choosing DD secondary school!

34 replies

Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 12:30

DD is currently in year 9 and has an EHCP due to a mild/ moderate developmental language disorder. I spent quite a bit of time researching, reading and asking for opinions about school. We chose a school further away, 50 min door to door.

It is a girls school. We chose it as it seems like a nurturing school, behaviour mostly ok and we felt she will get the best support there.

DD has not been entirely happy since start of year 9; she feels the commuting is not worth it, feel a bit left out as all the girls live locally. She feels there is nothing exciting going on at school, eg international trips, the feels is an ok school but doesn’t really excel at anything.

As parents we don’t hear much from the school; the reports a bit useless, have no clue what her targets are and what levels she is working at. I think there is one person in SENCO for 400 girls with additional needs. We do chase the school but they appear understaffed, overwhelmed. They do seem to have lots of people in the office as every time I call someone different answer.

It is an 8 form school.

I feel a bit down and like I made a mistake sending her there. There is an outstanding school near by, but it is coed, occasional disruption in class and quite strict so didn’t feel it was right and that she wasn’t ready at 11 for that big move,

There is another where her best friend went to massive coed school; excellent music, arts, drama; however the feedback is that there is basically no support for kids with additional needs; they are completely overwhelmed. I think the school is good if your kids is excellent at something but not so good for the rest.

Thanks for reading. I got it off my chest

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 13:54

Agree reg international trips. They are not not that important but the rest of the things are so disheartening. We are supposed to have termly meetings but they don’t happen. No interventions in math, english or science. The only thing happening is the speech and language therapy and a social skill activity with other kids once per week.

I feel the school is resting on the laurels.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 13:49

I keep chasing for targets and current levels but they just don’t seem to have them. We spoke to SENCO last week and she said she has been trying to get those from staff but they have not provided them.

OP posts:
clary · 13/01/2025 13:47

Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 13:45

Commute is 10min in the car, 20 on the train, 15min walk after train. We drive her to the station and pick up from station

Ah so that sounds like quite a long way. Are you perhaps quite rural? Again where we live that commute would take you to a school in the next big city which would be unusual tbh. What I mean is, if you did that commute, I am pretty sure you would be the only child at your school that lived in our city.

Original poster
Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 13:45

Commute is 10min in the car, 20 on the train, 15min walk after train. We drive her to the station and pick up from station

OP posts:
clary · 13/01/2025 13:42

Yes I agree, international trips would be massively low down on my priority list. My DC did go on some and remember them fondly but it’s not the be all and end all - and they will become less common IMHO as it’s such a lot to ask of overburdened staff (speaks from experience)

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 13/01/2025 13:29

Just wondering if you already posted on this subject as I'm pretty sure I can identify several of the schools.

If not, then there was another parent in your exact same position.

If your DD is in Y9 and any of the schools do a 3 year GCSE programme then don't try and move for Y10 as she will have missed far too much.

Also bear in mind that once you get into GCSE years, the amount of trips go down hugely as they don't want children missing class. DD does Geography and had subject associated field trips and it has been a pain doing catch up around those.

International trips also come at a big cost, and very few children in any school realistic go on those. DD's school does a big French trip for Y8 every year, but not other year groups.

clary · 13/01/2025 13:21

It’s not clear (sorry) if the commute is your DD - walk, bus, walk; or is it you driving her? If the latter then that is a long way (for reference, a 50-min drive for my DC, even at rush hour, would take us out of our city and well into the next county – let’s say 30 miles at least – whereas if they did a walk-bus-walk to a very popular school in the village up the road, it would actually take them at least 40 mins (the bus stop is a bit of a walk away even tho we live in a city), even tho it's only about four miles away, if that.

What I am saying is, if your DD's commute is actually 20-30 miles, then it's not surprising she is feeling there is no one local. That can be a big factor as independence becomes more important.

But don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s hard to weigh all the factors up.

If I were you I would make a big effort to chase targets and current levels – is the information really not supplied all year? Do you get any kind of report?

How was DD in years 7 and 8?

How would she feel about a possible move to the nearby school? Would it have a space (not sure how it works with EHCP – can you rename your choice of school?). If you are going to move her I would deffo do it now before GCSE courses start.

Original poster
Newmoon8 · 13/01/2025 13:13

Lightthelamp1 · 13/01/2025 12:47

No school is perfect but it might be that a different school now would tick more important boxes for you. Does you daughter want to move?
I do think commuting time (when it is substantial) is a big ask of children.

Edited

Thank you; yes, we are looking at moving for year 10. Perhaps things change and what it was important on those first years is not that important anymore. The school she wants to go to is selective; hopefully she will get in but if she doesn’t not sure what we will do. The big school her friend is at already started GCSEs. Will have to decide depending what happens I guess.

OP posts:
Lightthelamp1 · 13/01/2025 12:47

No school is perfect but it might be that a different school now would tick more important boxes for you. Does you daughter want to move?
I do think commuting time (when it is substantial) is a big ask of children.

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