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Original poster

School constantly asking daughter questions

62 replies

Tc4rt3r1983 · 17/12/2024 17:06

Hi all . Had my 14 year old daughter come home from school tonight very upset. She was pulled out of class today, and had questions repeatedly fired at her, regarding if and what she eats . And what she does when she gets home from school and who she speaks to. The result of this is my daughter asking if she is under weight does she look skinny or funny and generally feeling after answering yes to being fed. That she was repeatedly asked over and over again like she wasn't believed. She has had bullying trouble before and has no confidence in the schools pastoral team which has resulted in her not wanting to go to school .

OP posts:
Original poster
Tc4rt3r1983 · 17/12/2024 18:18

Yes I was nit happy to see her in floods of tears . She wasn't explained to why she was pulled out and asked . Neither were we as parents. Would be OK if there was reasonable doubt or evidence she hasn't eaten

OP posts:
Original poster
Tc4rt3r1983 · 17/12/2024 18:16

She is constantly eating. She has 3 slices of toast and 3 hash browns daily before school . She snacks for lunch then has a cooked meal every evening . She is small framed like me her dad. But then we shouldn't judge . As I wouldn't judge in my eyes it'd no different to me saying someone larger eats to much . I mean that in rhe best possible way not a judging way. And I csn also understand a schools jib to safeguard and pick up on things a miss . But when she is reassuring them she is eating and there still asling I find this no different to directing a child to get answers which shouldn't be done

OP posts:
BarkLife · 17/12/2024 18:13

@OAPapparently

'Raging' at the school, really? Has that ever ended well for anyone?

OP, don't rage, just ask the Head of Year if everything's okay. It might register as a safeguarding concern if they're worried about your DD and you charge in telling them not to ask her questions.

OAPapparently · 17/12/2024 18:06

Do you think she has any issues around eating? Has she suddenly lost weight and it’s been noticed?

If her weight hasn’t changed and she has always been naturally slim then I would be raging at the school, because it sounds like it has knocked her confidence.

Chowtime · 17/12/2024 17:59

SometimesCalmPerson · 17/12/2024 17:15

‘Had questions repeatedly fired at her’ doesn’t sound like something someone in pastoral support would do when they’ve felt the need to take a child out of a lesson to check on their welfare, even if overall pastoral support isn’t great.

It’s possible that your dd felt uncomfortable with questioning even if it was done kindly.

Why do you think the school would want to ask your daughter about her eating and check she has support at home?

Really good response @SometimesCalmPerson .

I can only echo this.

usernother · 17/12/2024 17:52

Speak to the school. Then make decisions.

IdaGlossop · 17/12/2024 17:46

JohnofWessex · 17/12/2024 17:11

I would complain to the Governors and raise it as a safeguarding issue.

Somebody is clearly being a twat

It's too soon to involve governors. OP needs to hear what the staff concerned say so she has both sides of the story - what triggered the questioning, who did it, why, what happens next? A letter to governors now would amount to a parent saying 'my child came home from school upset'. In most schools, safeguarding irregularities are looked at by the designated safeguarding lead, usually the head. Writing to governors only happens if a parent/carer is not happy with the school's investigation.

Germanjio · 17/12/2024 17:19

I think you need a calm conversation with them to find out what happened. Your daughter's version sounds awful, of course. But I strongly suspect that someone is worried about some to ing and is digging into it.

marmitegirl01 · 17/12/2024 17:17

I would email school requesting a call or meeting with her head of year asking for clarification of what happened today

SometimesCalmPerson · 17/12/2024 17:15

‘Had questions repeatedly fired at her’ doesn’t sound like something someone in pastoral support would do when they’ve felt the need to take a child out of a lesson to check on their welfare, even if overall pastoral support isn’t great.

It’s possible that your dd felt uncomfortable with questioning even if it was done kindly.

Why do you think the school would want to ask your daughter about her eating and check she has support at home?

User346897543 · 17/12/2024 17:15

Is there any possibility of an eating disorder ? Something has clearly been noticed

JohnofWessex · 17/12/2024 17:11

I would complain to the Governors and raise it as a safeguarding issue.

Somebody is clearly being a twat