Page 2 | Moving school in Year 10

winterrabbit · 2024-10-21T09:15:14+00:00

DS was at a private school from year 7 and moved in year 10 (just this September past) to another private school that had a small entry point in year 10. The results at this new school are a lot better (65% grades 7-9 as opposed to 43% at his old school) and facilities much much better. We decided to apply very late in year 10 as not overly happy with the old school as there was some disruption in classes, results not great for a private school and virtually no facilities, however, DS was happy there. DS got offered a place, did a taster day and we decided to move him although we were both a little unsure at the time but the school only gave us a week to decide so we took a chance. DS started at the beginning of September but he really doesn't like it and wants to go back to his old school. The school day at his new school is really long and he says the lessons are very strict and boring, plus, although he has made some friends, he says they are not his type of people (all very posh and nerdy (his words), plus the school day is very long and the journey there is a lot longer and more difficult so he's exhausted. Even though the facilities are great, you are forced to do the school sports and he isn't into rugby at all and has a lot of existing sports commitments outside of school. I told DS to give it until half term to settle but he is still saying he wants to go back to his old school. Old school still has a place for him and says they would love to have him back. I feel in my heart, although new school is better on paper and the organisation and communication is excellent, I can't bear for him to be unhappy and should let him return to his old school. However, new school has said we will need to pay for next term as well as 1 term's notice is required. We already paid for this term and old and new school which has nearly bankrupt me and I really don't want to go it again although would think about it if it meant DS being happy. WWYD??

Original poster

winterrabbit · 28/10/2024 13:28

Charlotte120221 · 28/10/2024 11:47

No I would never move a child in year 10.

It's too late.

He has done half a term's work. Even if the 2 schools are doing the same board, they will not cover the topics in the same order. And even if they're doing the same board they might have chosen different texts and options.

He would have a half a term's work to catch up on in every subject.

It's just not feasible.

Sorry but I disagree with that. My older son moved school in March of Year 10, having missed about 3 months of school in total (due to a permanent exclusion) and he caught up by the time he sat his GCSEs and got a decent set of results, would've been even better if he'd done more revision. They go over content more than once you know. This is not a reason not to move.

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Original poster

winterrabbit · 28/10/2024 13:25

HawaiiWake · 28/10/2024 09:37

Tell your DS he will be going to 3rd set maths and the GCSEs teaching may be an issue. So he needs to give it a go for 5 terms, get a great holiday of his dream or car driving lessons as someone else suggested. A levels, he can move to another school.
If he moves back, the double cost is going to mean no car driving, no holiday.
Ask him to do the pros and cons himself.
Do you think this issue of not liking the new school is the academic focus plus Year 10 expectations is more than he thought? Maybe in new school, 3rd set still gets 7-9 grades.
Is it a case of asking no rugby due to other sport commitments? We know swimmers and footballers who train a lot and school sport is not on their timetable due to their outside school training. Though they had to show the amount of outside school training to the sport department.

Have told him and he says he doesn't care, he still wants to move back to the old school so this says a lot about his strength of feeling. He says he can't face staying at the new school for another 1 3/4 years. He says all the teachers at his new school seem to hate him and are really grumpy, constantly tell him off. I don't get the impression he is feeling pressurised academically, just that the teaching style is more strict and less interactive. In my view good relationships with your teachers is essential to doing well.

OP posts:

Charlotte120221 · 28/10/2024 11:47

No I would never move a child in year 10.

It's too late.

He has done half a term's work. Even if the 2 schools are doing the same board, they will not cover the topics in the same order. And even if they're doing the same board they might have chosen different texts and options.

He would have a half a term's work to catch up on in every subject.

It's just not feasible.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 28/10/2024 10:58

The old headteacher will promise the world - they want your money.

Remember all the reasons you had for moving, they are still there.

If he was really upset that would be different but it sounds move that he is dissatisfied and unsettle. He could be used to being at the top and his self perception has had a knock now he isn’t among others of similar ability

Dangle a carrot and explain the costs. Plus rugby is only for another weeks.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 28/10/2024 10:06

The maths thing would make the decision easy for me.

Our DS is a very strong mathematician and would have been so demoralised being in set 3 with a teacher that he’d had a previous poor experience of. I’m very sure that it would have negatively affected his work in other subjects too

Keep him in the academically stronger school, save a lot of money in the second set of fees and plan together what that might be spent on. Driving lessons are a good carrot to dangle. He was up for the move, remind him of that and be strong and confident about your decision. He’ll finish school per se in May 2026, just exams to do after that, which isn’t actually that far off. GCSE years fly by.

HawaiiWake · 28/10/2024 09:37

Tell your DS he will be going to 3rd set maths and the GCSEs teaching may be an issue. So he needs to give it a go for 5 terms, get a great holiday of his dream or car driving lessons as someone else suggested. A levels, he can move to another school.
If he moves back, the double cost is going to mean no car driving, no holiday.
Ask him to do the pros and cons himself.
Do you think this issue of not liking the new school is the academic focus plus Year 10 expectations is more than he thought? Maybe in new school, 3rd set still gets 7-9 grades.
Is it a case of asking no rugby due to other sport commitments? We know swimmers and footballers who train a lot and school sport is not on their timetable due to their outside school training. Though they had to show the amount of outside school training to the sport department.

Original poster

winterrabbit · 28/10/2024 09:06

Muchtoomuchtodo · 28/10/2024 07:23

@winterrabbit what did you decide?

Still haven't been able to make a decision. I have been talking to the HT of his old school about him returning and have been reminded of the reasons I moved him. Most key for me is that DS will not be able to go back into top set maths as his space has gone so he will be going into the 3rd set where, apparently, the teacher is not good. DS had her once and said he didn't learn a thing. Seems a minor thing but DS's maths is strong and I really wanted him to go back into his old set otherwise he won't be challenged. I am still on the parents' whatsapp and it seems the issues with comms (or lack of them) are still present. So, I am re-thinking slightly as I am thinking the new school is probably better overall, however, I don't think I will be able to persuade DS. Old school says the earliest he can return is 11th Nov so he'll have to go back to new school for a week. I am hoping that he finds he likes it a bit more and can be persuaded to stay. The HT at his old school thinks there won't be a huge amount of catch-up as the new school is pretty academic so we don't need to rush the decision but I am nervous of the differences in curriculum so don't want to leave it too long.

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OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 28/10/2024 07:30

Oh and off course his old school will take him back - they have lost at least 3 students in his year group and that is a lot of money. They are a business.

They will promise a lot (catch up lessons, support, better behaviour, more stretch …) but that doesn’t always appear.

Check out the finances of both schools on the charity commission. https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/en/charity-search With VAT coming in a lot of schools are getting twitchy. You don’t want to be in a position where you move DS back and the school closes shortly later!

Search the register of charities - prd-ds-register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk

https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/en/charity-search

Muchtoomuchtodo · 28/10/2024 07:23

@winterrabbit what did you decide?

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 28/10/2024 07:21

Ignore those saying the results are bad in both schools. Neither are! National average 7-9 is only 22%, Surrey is the ‘best’ county with 32%. A school is much more than it results as well.

Saying that, your son hasn’t given the new school a chance. He was saying from the start of term he wanted to go, that means he has his foot out the door and you kept the door open. 6 weeks really isn’t a long time to settle into a new environment. He sounds homesick rather than genuinely missing his old school.

How do you know the messing around has stopped at the old school? A behaviour change is never over night so treat that with some skepticism.

I would keep him at the new school and encourage him to engage with it fullly. As others have pointed out anecdote does not mean same teaching order.

Could the money you save be used for something he would like in the future - driving lessons and first car? So he can see the value in not spending double fees for 2 terms?

Takeachance18 · 27/10/2024 21:11

It depends when schools aim to finish teaching the content, if they try to finish by Christmas next year he has missed 1/8th or Frb halftetm 1/9th of the curriculum, if studying 9 GCSE'S potentially the equivalent of a whole GCSE content (worst case scenario), anything covered in a different order could be spread through the next year. If you had made the decision before half-term, he could have used the half term to speak to friends at old school and start catching up.

I would speak to new school and see if adjustments can be made e.g not doing rugby.

Oblomov24 · 27/10/2024 09:43

43% grades 7-9.
That's not great. Our local schools have much higher than that.

HawaiiWake · 24/10/2024 22:13

winterrabbit · 24/10/2024 21:58

Half a term. He has only been there 6 weeks if we move back after half term. 6 weeks isn't that much considering exams boards are largely the same and same English Lit texts.

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The exam board may be the same for all subjects and the English lit texts but all schools can decide when to teach them, as mentioned in previous posts. This goes for all topics and subjects so check the topics covered in the 6 weeks from old school. If you moving DC back after half term, he need to spend the half term checking notes are up to date. Can he check with his old school friends, can you check with the teachers in old school?

Original poster

winterrabbit · 24/10/2024 21:58

taggy321 · 23/10/2024 16:41

Consider the fact that he has started his GCSE courses now and different schools teach things in a different order. So he could have missed a whole term of content if he moves now.

Half a term. He has only been there 6 weeks if we move back after half term. 6 weeks isn't that much considering exams boards are largely the same and same English Lit texts.

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taggy321 · 23/10/2024 16:41

Consider the fact that he has started his GCSE courses now and different schools teach things in a different order. So he could have missed a whole term of content if he moves now.

blindasaba51981 · 23/10/2024 16:27

You might have been swayed by the shining results and flashy resources, but I would move him if he was my child. I'd hate the thought of my dc being so unhappy.

Original poster

winterrabbit · 23/10/2024 16:21

Birdscratch · 23/10/2024 15:56

I can’t imagine paying fees for a school that gets 43% grades 7-9. It’s going to be a culture shock for your DS because this school is more focused on academics and so are the DC who go there. That’s why you moved him isn’t it? For better results? And he can’t have better results without putting in more effort.

Have you asked the current school about flexibility with regards to your DS’ out of school sports commitments?

You may be able to imagine it if the alternative was a school with 30% 7-9 and the school was really nurturing. It may have seemed a better option, or the best option out of a not great choice. Many people in DS's primary chose this school for the same reason. Agree that the new school could be a culture shock for that reason, i.e. the lessons are far more serious which could lead to better outcomes. Having said that, I think DS will do the same, or similar at either school.

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SheilaFentiman · 23/10/2024 16:07

I wouldn’t respond further to that poster, OP, if I were you. I’m not going to!

I get it: you (and he?) always aspired to the new school and the year 9 application wasn’t successful. That might have swayed you both slightly when you “finally” got the chance, in a way that a totally fresh school at that stage wouldn’t,

SheilaFentiman · 23/10/2024 16:05

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2024 15:52

Well why the thread? I don't get it. You've clearly already made up your mind. That's fine. You are right, you don't need to justify anything to anyone else. So why the thread?

You clearly don't think the reasons you had for the move aren't that significant and that ultimately you don't think its a big deal to move back.

So just do that. Without all the angst to justify it here!

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The OP isn’t being angsty. The person most wound up by this thread is you. If you think it’s a waste of time, stop commenting.

Original poster

winterrabbit · 23/10/2024 16:05

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2024 15:52

Well why the thread? I don't get it. You've clearly already made up your mind. That's fine. You are right, you don't need to justify anything to anyone else. So why the thread?

You clearly don't think the reasons you had for the move aren't that significant and that ultimately you don't think its a big deal to move back.

So just do that. Without all the angst to justify it here!

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As I said, I have not made a decision yet so stop telling me that I have. Why do you think you know so much? I am weighing up the reasons for and against and am struggling to decide what to do (this is called angst in your book). There were good reasons to move him but, if he is unhappy at his new school, those reasons carry less weight. He liked the school on a taster day and is a pretty confident, resilient boy so we didn't think it would be an issue especially as his main group of friends are local friends outside of school. I am trying to bring him around to staying where is he but he is really set on returning to his old school. It's a case of heart over head. The new school is more academic on paper, however, he was in the top sets in his old school so I actually think the academic side is not that different although there is less disruption in lessons but also less interaction at all. I think most normal parents (not including you on this) would be listening and trusting their kids mainly when making a decision like this rather than condemning forcing them to stay somewhere they are not happy because a decision cannot be reversed, in your view.

OP posts:

Birdscratch · 23/10/2024 15:56

I can’t imagine paying fees for a school that gets 43% grades 7-9. It’s going to be a culture shock for your DS because this school is more focused on academics and so are the DC who go there. That’s why you moved him isn’t it? For better results? And he can’t have better results without putting in more effort.

Have you asked the current school about flexibility with regards to your DS’ out of school sports commitments?

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2024 15:52

winterrabbit · 23/10/2024 15:48

They do matter but other factors matters too and it's a case of trying to balance those different factors and arrive at the right decision. This is clearly lost on you. And people do move at the beginning of year 10. You may not but it does happen. Not sure why I am having to justify anything to you TBH!

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Well why the thread? I don't get it. You've clearly already made up your mind. That's fine. You are right, you don't need to justify anything to anyone else. So why the thread?

You clearly don't think the reasons you had for the move aren't that significant and that ultimately you don't think its a big deal to move back.

So just do that. Without all the angst to justify it here!

Original poster

winterrabbit · 23/10/2024 15:48

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2024 15:07

But he is getting mucked around. By you. Because you made a silly decision to move in yr10...

...for reasons that you are now saying don't matter anymore.

Either they mattered or they didn't.

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They do matter but other factors matters too and it's a case of trying to balance those different factors and arrive at the right decision. This is clearly lost on you. And people do move at the beginning of year 10. You may not but it does happen. Not sure why I am having to justify anything to you TBH!

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Original poster

winterrabbit · 23/10/2024 15:46

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2024 15:11

And if you have decided that they don't matter enough and that you are going to return him to the previous school, why are you on MN asking for advice anyway because you have made a decision.

This just sounds like you want validation that the decision you made is somehow not your fault and that you didn't make a stupid mistake rather than just taking ownership of it.

I haven't made a decision yet so I was seeking views and advice which, apart from your post, I've received and has been extremely helpful. Why are you on Mumsnet or this post as it's not to offer either advice or support is it? You clearly just like being nasty to people.

OP posts:

SheilaFentiman · 23/10/2024 15:17

Why are you being so horrible to OP? Obviously she AND DS thought it was the right decision at the time, and now she is trying to determine what to do for the best.

If he had settled fine, she wouldn’t be on here.

I am sure if she and DS could go back in time then they wouldn’t have made the move, but they have to deal with the here and now.

Telling her how stupid she was helps precisely no one and is just nasty.