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Detentions as a punishment

507 replies

SweatyLama · 04/10/2024 20:40

I didn't grow up in the UK, but my children were born here. This year, my DS started secondary school for the first time, and I discovered that they have a system of punishments in place. Is this a common practice in all state schools in Britain? I really don't like this system ( I mean punishments) and find it degrading and outdated.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/10/2024 21:02

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:05

I like your example with the horse, and I completely agree with it. But what is detention in the case of the horse? It’s like a dipping the horse's head into the water. It's unlikely that after that it would want to go near the water again. And what I suggested, as you wrote, is to find the right approach, but without distracting the teacher whose horses are drinking in unison, occasionally getting distracted by flies. And for being distracted by flies, I also suggest not to dip the horse in water.
Sometimes a horse might drink earlier or later than the others, or get distracted. When I mentioned special schools, I was referring to cases where the student’s presence is dangerous for teachers or other students. In other cases, there should be someone in the school who finds out the reasons and seeks an approach.

No, it isn't. It's staying by the water after the other horses have gone back down the field to give that horse more time in a quieter, less crowded environment without that dickhead Welsh Cob who keeps on making smartarsed ear twitches or flicking his tail within its line of sight.

What is going to blow your mind is what happens with internal inclusion/suspension/whatever it's called in your particular school. You'll get parents wringing their hands over how traumatic it is for a kid to have to go and work there because it's a terrible punishment - but there are many children who actively seek out a place because they like the environment better than being in class, just as I liked the warm lunchtime detention room far more than the cold, wet playground - they might like not having to sit right next to somebody, there could be better light, it might be warmer, it'll be quieter, they have work to get on with that doesn't require sitting bolt upright and tracking the teacher with their eyes at all times...they just prefer it.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:58

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/10/2024 16:30

Well yes, that's why we don't just let kids not come to school or turn up to lessons. We keep them in classes and try our best to teach them!

I am not against this. I am against punishments.

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 06/10/2024 16:44

Of course, people need to learn consequences for their actions.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/10/2024 16:30

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:09

I'm naive, I also think that until the horse decomposes, it's worth believing that it can wake up.😅

Well yes, that's why we don't just let kids not come to school or turn up to lessons. We keep them in classes and try our best to teach them!

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/10/2024 16:27

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 14:39

this is what i am writing about. you can't force a horse to drink. and the fact that children are forced to go to class distracts both teachers and motivated children. and punishments didn't help. this doesn't mean that we just need to forget about them. but we need to work with these children separately.

There aren't enough teachers to even put in front of whole classes. There certainly aren't enough to work separately with all the children who distract others if they are in class.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:18

Phineyj · 06/10/2024 16:09

I don't want to be flippant OP as youth unemployment isn't good, but the UK's youth unemployment rate is only slightly above the OECD average. BREXIT no doubt contributed.

images.app.goo.gl/ZHzwNjka2EKhuC1VA

I'm glad to know that. I hope it only gets better with time.
But @Anonym00se correct me:
"GCSE results are a fairly broad representation of whether the children in that particular school are engaged or not".

OP posts:
SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:09

Phineyj · 06/10/2024 16:01

I'm loving where you went with the analogy, @NeverDropYourMooncup!

Perhaps we'd better not start on flogging a dead horse 😂?

I'm naive, I also think that until the horse decomposes, it's worth believing that it can wake up.😅

OP posts:
Phineyj · 06/10/2024 16:09

I don't want to be flippant OP as youth unemployment isn't good, but the UK's youth unemployment rate is only slightly above the OECD average. BREXIT no doubt contributed.

images.app.goo.gl/ZHzwNjka2EKhuC1VA

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 16:05

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/10/2024 15:42

You've used the phrase 'You can't force a horse to drink' and said that they need to be separated from those children who are already able to comply with every instruction.

That's absolutely giving up on children. If you want a horse to drink, you can stay there longer and they drink, giving them extra time means that you might see there's a bloody great carp in the water that's putting them off, the slope to the water's edge is too slippery or steep or (more likely with horses) that there's a leaf on a tree in the distance that looks different in some way and the wind's blowing in a slightly different direction, meaning they can't relax enough to be able to drink.

Saying 'Oh, well, can't make you, time to go' means the horse goes thirsty and won't want to drink there next time, either - when you could have stayed there a bit longer and identified/solved the problem before they developed a complete aversion to everything from lakes and rivers to watertroughs and buckets.

If a child has a detention or number of detentions, there's not just the opportunity for them to learn it's not worth the hassle, they can learn the actual work, they're out of a potentially tense situation or dynamic which led to them kicking off in class and the data gathered from behaviour records can be used to identify possible causes and trends - whether it's around a particular teacher (might be that they shout a lot, might be that they have unreasonable expectations) or the student's environment (such as not having access to the internet or a safe space for work at home, being bullied) or something else, such as undiagnosed SEND.

I like your example with the horse, and I completely agree with it. But what is detention in the case of the horse? It’s like a dipping the horse's head into the water. It's unlikely that after that it would want to go near the water again. And what I suggested, as you wrote, is to find the right approach, but without distracting the teacher whose horses are drinking in unison, occasionally getting distracted by flies. And for being distracted by flies, I also suggest not to dip the horse in water.
Sometimes a horse might drink earlier or later than the others, or get distracted. When I mentioned special schools, I was referring to cases where the student’s presence is dangerous for teachers or other students. In other cases, there should be someone in the school who finds out the reasons and seeks an approach.

OP posts:
Phineyj · 06/10/2024 16:01

I'm loving where you went with the analogy, @NeverDropYourMooncup!

Perhaps we'd better not start on flogging a dead horse 😂?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/10/2024 15:42

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 15:13

)))) Sorry for my English, but I somehow explained the situation incorrectly, because what you described does not correspond to reality and what I meant. I apologize again for misleading you.

You've used the phrase 'You can't force a horse to drink' and said that they need to be separated from those children who are already able to comply with every instruction.

That's absolutely giving up on children. If you want a horse to drink, you can stay there longer and they drink, giving them extra time means that you might see there's a bloody great carp in the water that's putting them off, the slope to the water's edge is too slippery or steep or (more likely with horses) that there's a leaf on a tree in the distance that looks different in some way and the wind's blowing in a slightly different direction, meaning they can't relax enough to be able to drink.

Saying 'Oh, well, can't make you, time to go' means the horse goes thirsty and won't want to drink there next time, either - when you could have stayed there a bit longer and identified/solved the problem before they developed a complete aversion to everything from lakes and rivers to watertroughs and buckets.

If a child has a detention or number of detentions, there's not just the opportunity for them to learn it's not worth the hassle, they can learn the actual work, they're out of a potentially tense situation or dynamic which led to them kicking off in class and the data gathered from behaviour records can be used to identify possible causes and trends - whether it's around a particular teacher (might be that they shout a lot, might be that they have unreasonable expectations) or the student's environment (such as not having access to the internet or a safe space for work at home, being bullied) or something else, such as undiagnosed SEND.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 15:13

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/10/2024 14:18

Poor kids.

Written off and abandoned/kicked out and deprived of the opportunity to learn because the OP can't be arsed with them if they don't behave acceptably.

Far better to receive the inconvenience of a detention from time to time and learn it's easier to just do the work/turn up on time/not call the teacher a prick than to be told 'Oh well, your consequences are that you're barely literate, have no qualifications and will likely never have a decent future. Not our problem'.

I'd deliberately get lunchtime detentions for not handing in homework when I didn't have clubs to go to - because it meant after getting my food, I'd be able to sit in a quiet, warm and dry classroom and get on with other work (as I'd done the work I hadn't handed in already) rather than have to stand for 40 minutes in the rain and cold for four months of the year. Were it not for that terrible deprivation of liberty, I'd have been free to get soaked and freeze my arse off miserably. I know which felt more like punishment to me.

)))) Sorry for my English, but I somehow explained the situation incorrectly, because what you described does not correspond to reality and what I meant. I apologize again for misleading you.

OP posts:
SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 15:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

I don't want to justify a system that I don't like, but to be fair, those kids had the same knowledge at the end of school as your kids who don't want to study but are kept in school by force.

OP posts:
SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 15:01

TeenToTwenties · 06/10/2024 14:45

Often because some kids have a level of SEN which may or may not be recognised and supported. Support can disappear once out of education.

Hospitality (for example) may prefer to employ a couple of uni students part time rather than someone with a hospitality qualification from college but who also has ASD and who struggles to get through the interview stage.

I got. Thank you.

OP posts:
SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 15:00

Clutterbugsmum · 06/10/2024 13:54

So how was this behaviour treated in your home country when you were at school.

Here in the UK detentions are just a normal part of the school punishment, but you haven't mention what do they do for good behaviour.

For example my DC school have the normal 10 mins up to an hour detentions. The up to report cards which are marked in lesson by teachers and then Intervention and taught out of class. But along side this are house points Which are given for good behaviour in each lesson, assemble Etc. And which if the child reaches the set number house points, attendance receive a reward at the end of term these range from a cinema trip (Autumn term) for Bronze, Ice skating (Spring term) for Silver and a theme park (summer term) for Gold.

You can't have one without the other.

Every family have own method ))) and most of them is not humane.

Rewards also have a negative effect on a person, just like punishments.
Alfie Kohn (Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason) writes about this very convincingly.

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 06/10/2024 14:45

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 14:41

Really? Why do you think so?

Often because some kids have a level of SEN which may or may not be recognised and supported. Support can disappear once out of education.

Hospitality (for example) may prefer to employ a couple of uni students part time rather than someone with a hospitality qualification from college but who also has ASD and who struggles to get through the interview stage.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 14:41

TeenToTwenties · 06/10/2024 13:53

And some kids will try their hardest but struggle. They get through college on a level 1 or 2 course and still end up NEET age 18-24.

Really? Why do you think so?

OP posts:
Longma · 06/10/2024 14:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 14:39

Anonym00se · 06/10/2024 13:51

I think the figures would be higher. Some kids continue to sixth form and still bum around, but they’re not NEET. Similarly, some will get jobs or apprenticeships and do okay, despite having messed around throughout school. I think GCSE results are a fairly broad representation of whether the children in that particular school are engaged or not (allowing for SEN).

My DS works in a school where discipline is very lax. He tells me that large number of the children spend their lessons vaping in the toilets and teachers would prefer that than having them in their lessons causing disruption. Less than 25% of children pass their maths and English GCSE.

this is what i am writing about. you can't force a horse to drink. and the fact that children are forced to go to class distracts both teachers and motivated children. and punishments didn't help. this doesn't mean that we just need to forget about them. but we need to work with these children separately.

OP posts:
SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 14:24

Anonym00se · 06/10/2024 12:00

You’re comparing apples and bananas. In Russia kids are heavily, regularly tested and kept back a year if they fail? Is that not punishment?

If a child is late for class in the UK, they have to come back later to see the teacher who will go over the work they’ve missed, and establish whether they have understood the rest of the lesson after they’ve missed the start. That’s not a punishment, if anything it’s the teacher that’s being punished.

Children are kept back a year not as a punishment, but because a person who has not understood some of the information cannot study further. For example, if a child has not learned to add in your school, he continues studying, although everyone understands that without addition he is not able to understand multiplication.
I agree with your opinion about regularly testing, I think it destroyed pupils.
they have to come back later to see the teacher who will go over the work they’ve missed
I would agree with you if it would be true.
Because in reality, children are kept in detention to sit and reflect on their lateness, not to meet with the teacher. The same applies to detentions for forgetting their PE kit or homework. It wouldn’t even feel like a punishment if children who forgot their kit attended an extra PE session to make up for the one they missed. Or if they stayed after school to complete the homework they hadn’t done at home.
or is this really how things are?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/10/2024 14:18

Poor kids.

Written off and abandoned/kicked out and deprived of the opportunity to learn because the OP can't be arsed with them if they don't behave acceptably.

Far better to receive the inconvenience of a detention from time to time and learn it's easier to just do the work/turn up on time/not call the teacher a prick than to be told 'Oh well, your consequences are that you're barely literate, have no qualifications and will likely never have a decent future. Not our problem'.

I'd deliberately get lunchtime detentions for not handing in homework when I didn't have clubs to go to - because it meant after getting my food, I'd be able to sit in a quiet, warm and dry classroom and get on with other work (as I'd done the work I hadn't handed in already) rather than have to stand for 40 minutes in the rain and cold for four months of the year. Were it not for that terrible deprivation of liberty, I'd have been free to get soaked and freeze my arse off miserably. I know which felt more like punishment to me.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/10/2024 14:05

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 13:49

You are equating the absence of punishment with the absence of rules. This is not true. Rules are not maintained only by fear of punishment. I know how unusual this sounds. But it is possible.

Great. Maybe train as a teacher and go and show them how to do it then, OP. Good luck.

Clutterbugsmum · 06/10/2024 13:54

So how was this behaviour treated in your home country when you were at school.

Here in the UK detentions are just a normal part of the school punishment, but you haven't mention what do they do for good behaviour.

For example my DC school have the normal 10 mins up to an hour detentions. The up to report cards which are marked in lesson by teachers and then Intervention and taught out of class. But along side this are house points Which are given for good behaviour in each lesson, assemble Etc. And which if the child reaches the set number house points, attendance receive a reward at the end of term these range from a cinema trip (Autumn term) for Bronze, Ice skating (Spring term) for Silver and a theme park (summer term) for Gold.

You can't have one without the other.

SweatyLama · 06/10/2024 13:53

Miffylou · 06/10/2024 11:58

No, it’s you who doesn’t understand. You said five out of a class of 30. One would be bad enough and spark investigations here and queries from a visiting Ofsted inspector if they discovered it. 16% of a class (even if it’s a total of 30 out of a big school) is completely shocking.

))))) You would be more shocked by what was happening in the country during those years. Unpunished crime, gangs of teenagers fighting to the death among themselves, police covering up crime, and much more.

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 06/10/2024 13:53

And some kids will try their hardest but struggle. They get through college on a level 1 or 2 course and still end up NEET age 18-24.