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Eton for one child, nowhere for another - what do you think?

182 replies

ThatJadeDreamer · 24/09/2024 17:29

We've been advised that my son is a good candidate for academic scholarship and large bursary at Eton or similar and we are thinking about applications and testing. Both he and his little brother go to a "requires improvement" state school that isn't very good and DS is super bright. We don't have any money to pay fees for private schools. The amount of fee remission/academic scholarship offered by smaller day schools near us is far too small to be helpful, so public boarding school with massive scholarship or regular state school are his only options.
Here's the issue: his younger brother is one year behind him. He's very academic too but not in the same league as older brother, and very different/wouldn't like the same school as his brother.
But how do we explain the difference? If we can't send younger brother to any private school at all, should we decide Eton/similar is off the table for eldest?

I am totally on board with picking schools for kids based on their differing needs but these two different outcomes seem so extreme, I could really use some advice!

OP posts:
Newgirls · 24/09/2024 17:43

In families where parents have split the kids it has lead to siblings not getting on. Is it really worth it? If they are bright they will breeze through GCSEs etc anyway

Wonderballs · 24/09/2024 17:40

I think you have to let the older one try otherwise it will remain a very big ‘what if’. As long as you also support the younger one to try for such opportunities if he wants to, you have given them the same chance.
If the younger one stays at home full-time he will get more of your time and attention.

Ponderingwindow · 24/09/2024 17:38

Can you move and get your younger child access to a better school?

PontoonRelish · 24/09/2024 17:36

Regular state school for both.

Whatwouldyoudoaboutthiz · 24/09/2024 17:35

Will you be able to afford all the associated costs of a child going to Eton? I'd imagine there is a lot of expenses that most families there wouldn't bat an eyelid at but that your family may find a blow.

I'd put up a post: Has your child gone from primary to private on a bursary and how did you all find it?"

I have a friend who had a large brood of kiddies. The eldest was extremely bright and got a bursary to the local private school a few years ago. She hated it! Really struggled with the fact that all the other kids there looked down on her, excluded her etc and they couldn't afford all the activities and kit the other students had. I know a fella my age had the same experience too in the 90s.

I don't think the mum felt guilty at the others staying at state school, and I don't think the siblings cared but did feel bad they all spent much more time in the car every day ferrying to and from.

cestlavielife · 24/09/2024 17:35

You do what is best for each child. End of. If older child gets massive scholarship it s his to have. Younger one can get extracurricular instead to his likes and abilities

RosesAndHellebores · 24/09/2024 17:32

Who has advised you because most primaries won't.

It's a difficult one. Hard to deny the older voy an opportunity; hard to tell the younger one he's going to the comp round the corner instead.

I assume you are working full time and there is no scope to bring in the extra shekels?