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Original poster

Does my daughter need a toilet pass?

132 replies

BeFunnyAmberPlayer · 20/09/2024 21:47

My daughter who is in year 8 has told me that toilets are locked all day and are only opened at break but they are too busy and she can’t find the time to go. She has stopped eating or drinking at school as she doesn’t want to have to use the toilet but this is really stressing her. She wears 2 pads on her period because she can’t change it at school and I wanted to email the school asking for a toilet pass but she told me I will be denied as she doesn’t have any medical conditions. Do you think she needs one?

OP posts:
KerryBlues · 20/09/2024 22:03

BiggerBoat1 · 20/09/2024 22:00

When you say the toilets are locked all day and only open at break that means they are locked during lessons which is entirely reasonable. Your DD just needs to make sure she goes at break time. When she says they’re too busy does that mean she doesn’t like queuing or doesn’t like it when they’re really busy? She maybe just needs to work out when it’s quieter during the breaks. She doesn’t need a toilet pass.

Exactly this.
Why should she have a pass to go during lessons because she doesn’t want to use the loos during breaks?

Original poster
BeFunnyAmberPlayer · 20/09/2024 22:02

She has social anxiety so she says she can’t go when it’s busy and usually the queues are so long she doesn’t have much time in there

OP posts:
BiggerBoat1 · 20/09/2024 22:00

When you say the toilets are locked all day and only open at break that means they are locked during lessons which is entirely reasonable. Your DD just needs to make sure she goes at break time. When she says they’re too busy does that mean she doesn’t like queuing or doesn’t like it when they’re really busy? She maybe just needs to work out when it’s quieter during the breaks. She doesn’t need a toilet pass.

tarheelbaby · 20/09/2024 21:53

You can only ask.
If her periods are heavy, I'd ask for a GP's note and include that with my request. You could also point out that she's not eating or drinking which becomes an 'eating disorder' risk.
As a teacher, I can see both sides but there must be a way for 'good' kids to have straightforward access to loos.

DoubleShotEspresso · 20/09/2024 21:53

Infuriating to read this.
No child should "need" a toilet pass, but the world we are in where schools are expected to manage so many things aside from learning, this is just a method of reducing further issues.
In the circumstances you describe, yes I would contact the school and explain all as you have here.
Your daughter needs to be comfortable in school, staying hydrated and being able to manage her own personal care is not a luxury. Be polite but firm.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 20/09/2024 21:50

No. What needs to change is the availability of the toilets.

Kneeslikethese · 20/09/2024 21:49

This was the same at my daughters school. Toilet passes were only given to children with medical conditions.

I'm not saying this was ok, but it was my experience.