Music lessons are a waste of time for most kids

Absolutely rubbish, music is amazing, it can open all kinds of doors. As an adult it's an excellent way to make friends for instance, and my dd - is a soloist and passed grade 8 at 16!

As for my other dd, only got to grade 4 but that was enough for the joint forces band.

I’m amazed when people say you can’t make decent money in the arts. We all watch tv, film, stream music etc

it’s like a lot of jobs - some people do well and some don’t. You can say the same about some academic jobs, nhs, even some IT roles

I too find your take unbelievably depressing. I'm a musician, I teach part time in the evenings in addition to my day job, so for starters, even though I didn't go to music college, it's been a handy additional source of income. But mainly, I've enjoyed it. Playing and singing in ensembles has enriched my life, performing has given me confidence I couldn't find in other areas. Music speaks in a way that words can't and (as twee as it may sound) absolutely soothes my soul.

I have 3 children who have all found music beneficial in different ways, one plays in a National Youth ensemble having reached grade 8 around the age of 12/13 and has just taken his performance diploma. Another never took any music lessons but plays piano by ear and finds it a great way to unwind and switch off. He is autistic and it has a noticeably soothing effect on him. My youngest had lessons for a while, got to about grade 2 and gave up because she didn't want to practice, but absolutely loved playing in school band and gets such joy out of performing. None of them plan to use music in their careers, but for all of them it has been worthwhile. I won't use the word 'investment' as it was never with the aim of being virtuoso musicians. But 'a waste of time'? Nothing could be further from the truth.

My kids do music. It's a hobby. For fun. They both play in orchestras and are well ahead for their age. It teaches them the importance of practicing and patience. They dont need to have a job out of it

I didn't love music and didn't love tap, and am not talented enough to be a pro in either.

But being able to read music and dance reasonably have enabled me to do loads of amateur musical theatre as an adult, which I do love. So I'm glad my parents sent me to music and tap lessons.

You could say this about all the Arts though. Not just music. At least there’s a bit more longevity in something like music as compared to something like dance, unless you want to teach. It’s sad that the Arts are so underfunded and underpaid. But you’re right, few people really makes a decent living from the Arts, but someone has to, so if you want it to be you, you have to try.

Learning a musical instrument is just part of a well rounded education. Being able to read music and play an instrument is a useful skill. It used to be fairly essential before radio etc.
Sport is the same to most people.
These are also the things you return to later in life.

I am a musician
that actually made it to just sitting in an orchestra and earning (a bit more than but not too much more than) £30k. I have had a WILD career, I've played at the Sydney opera house, I've been on tv, I've been to places I never would have otherwise, I've experienced immeasurable joy playing my instrument. It was totally worth it. Now I teach kids to play my instrument and none of them have any illusions that they're going to be a soloist and neither do their parents! Any more than they think they will be the next chess grandmaster or head of the armed forces if they're in the CCF. Music brings joy, frustration, ecstasy, diligence, discipline, perseverance....most people think that's worth it.

You sound really sad. Maybe play your instrument and try to kindle a little joy?

Kindly, this is a fairly myopic set of posts @Baldrick23. Letting kids dream is fine. Encouraging kids to stick at something which teaches them a skill even though they might not be talented at it, is an important life lesson and encourages discipline. Playing an instrument as a youngster, not loving it, but potentially being confident enough to pick it up again years later to enjoy and improves your mental health is a gift. Encouraging kids to learn and listen to music means there is a future generation that will - through choice - pay to go to over priced concerts to listen to the soloists, orchestras, bands and choirs in the future.

I say this, as someone who has played at a high level and taught many many moons ago. Many of my counterparts did go onto professional careers. And yes it is hard and under paid. But there are a lot more challenging careers out there.

I learned the piano aged 5, a popular instrument aged 8 and a less popular instrument aged 15. Did grade 8 as a student in the last one.
I now (aged 50 something) play piano most often for fun but have recently played in an amateur chamber group and orchestra with the more in demand instrument. I also sang in a good church choir as a child.
I still really enjoy playing and singing and I'm only not at choir tonight because I did 3 hours of training and 1 of phone calls and my throat hurts.
It was definitely worth it to learn. I enjoyed learning and playing and still enjoy music. I also did O level music and lots of that stays with me. Nearly did A level as an extra but got ill in lower sixth and something had to give.

This is an example of show me you're privileged without actually saying outright...

I think every child should learn music. Singing in choirs or playing in orchestra is a different (and brilliant) type of teamwork, and the performance skills you develop are great for building confidence.

Where I sort of agree is that I do think that people should be a bit careful around specialist music schools. You need to be sure that your child does as well in all their other subjects as they would at a normal school, and it isn't "conservatoire or bust".

Same with football academies (although they're probably worse), they typically do BTECs not A levels, so if you're academic but don't make the cut for the team at 18 you've really limited your options.

I slightly get what you’re saying in that I was in that classical music world growing up and the best talented musicians were so revered and so well thought of that they were going to music college etc etc.
but then when you grow up you realise it’s a pretty crap career really. Underpaid for the vast vast majority with very little career progression. So few make a living without doing lots of teaching which can be soul destroying. And the living that is made is extremely modest. And you’re right these were THE BEST musicians of their generation.

however I still think it brings so much to kids! Sure most will stop after a few years but you never know the ones for whom it’s their thing and can bring much joy to them and others.

It’s a massive part of my life now as a big hobby and side hustle and has been great socially but am super glad I didn’t try to make a career out of it

My son has played guitar since very young and had lessons and progressed through grades. He's a teen now and not going to make a living from it but it's his outlet, he plays daily, makes some lovely sounds. Enjoys music tech, has a general interest in music and is very knowledgable. It makes him a rounded person x

My younger 4 play the piano because they love it. Although ds2 hates performing in front of people so he doesn't do that.

ds1 hopes to make a living from music. He started learning the piano aged 6 (as all my dc did) and did his grade 8 aged 17. He has autism and music is his therapy. If he sees a piano he is desperate to play it. He is unlikely to make huge amounts of money but hopefully he will make enough to live on. He is applying to study music at university at the moment.

Nonsense! My dd had guitar then singing lessons which helped her to learn how to read music. Entirely of her own volition I might add. Then she taught herself to play keyboard and ukulele. She performed every year in the school show which was massively beneficial to her self confidence. She's not going to make a living from it, but she really enjoys it. I wouldn't have forced her to play the clarinet or tuba etc though or to take exams. Shouldn't it be fun?

99% of parents paying for music lessons do so because their kid enjoys it and it's good for them and they might get a GCSE in music - not because they're going to be a professional musician.

Just the same as 99% of parents who are taking their kids to football, tap dancing and jujitsu classes. It's for fun, health and general wellbeing.

OP where is your soul?

Music is everything to so so many people, regardless of whether or not they make it their chosen career path.

I also did needlework at school, should I be upset I am not the next coco Chanel?

That's nonsense. DD has never taken a music exam in her life. She has no aspiration to be a professional musician. But playing in an orchestra gives her a whole group of new friends, and gives her a fun activity that isn't school or academic pressure and she has earned quite a bit of pocket money from busking.

I know so many adults who sing in a choir, or play in an orchestra or band, or play music in church or just to relax at home, or take an instrument to a pub to play folk music, or even sing karaoke for a fun night out. Music isn't for professional musicians any more than exercise is for professional athletes - it's just part of being human. I'm actually really sad from reading your post.

Err, not everyone sends their kids to music lessons because they believe them to be the next Mozart. Learning an instrument is part of an all-rounded education.

Feeds into the issue of the moment: whether school is a waste of time because there are more graduates than graduate earning jobs. However schools and universities are about educating for broadening the mind rather than just for getting a related job

It's no different to dance, sport, swimming then if your only ambition is to be the 0.00001% that does it at an elite level!

DD does ballet and music. I have no expectations of her leading the LSO or the royal ballet. But she does hours and hours of it a week. Because there's so much more to it

Not every child is.

No one is denying that a minority of parents are forcing their child to take lessons, and those children are unlikely to get that much out of the experience. And no one is denying that parents can over-estimate their children’s musical talents, though that in no way means that the lessons are pointless. And everyone acknowledges that the vast majority of young musicians won’t find their career in music… but again, that’s not the only or primary goal.

You were the one who posted a bunch of sweeping generalizations. People are pointing out that those blanket statements are bogus.

I cross posted with @Baldrick23 ”i’m happy to change my mind”

Admirable, but I’m not sure you’re doing MN properly. You’re supposed to flounce at this stage!

Learning to play an instrument is such a great skill to have for SO many reasons (as others have already listed) but I do agree that passing music grades does not make you a good musician. Infact, there are many musicians and composers who can't even read music.