How to motivate Y10 child with no ambition

I would perhaps focus on making her feel good about herself ‘academically’ in other ways. I would for example discuss something to do with the news and current affairs, or an ethical or scientific issue.

When she discusses it with you, I would make comments on how interesting her points of views were or that she had highlighted areas that you had never thought about. Make her realise in a roundabout way that she has a sharp brain. It does not sound like focusing on academics is going to do much good at the moment and she will dig her heels in.

@Moneypennywise a few points (some already covered above):
Does she know that if she fails (gets a 3 in maths) she'll have to retake until she gets a 4? or reaches 18? That might motivate her

If you are buying her books, make sure you know which GCSE board and level/exam she is (likely to be) doing. get her one correct one. If she is doing Foundation level then the Higher ones will just put her off. Too many books will overwhelm her - just start with one good one.

I would approach as looking at entry criteria for sixth form colleges that you think might interest her, then get a list of the entrance criteria.

If she says something like "you're just helping to me to get the credit" then just say you are trying to help her as you know she'll need the grade for maths to move onto the next level of education (ie sixth form) and be happy in the future

dad needs to coordinate professional careers advice (psychometric testing with Morrisby or whatever) and you need to give the topic of careers/exams/study a wide birth to avoid any push back. Concentrate on building a better rapport.

Her secondary school was terrible. She did have an amazing drama teacher though. Her school was very academic and my daughter wasn’t academic and they made her feel like it was pointless her being at school if your not academic . She did lots of drama throughout school ..but honestly wasn’t til her final year she put effort in.
I guess our way of thinking comes from my husband did year 10 twice and failed and I’m dyslexic and struggled. We have a multi million dollar company through hard work. Sometimes kids thrive in life out of school. My daughter also overcame an eating disorder and during that few hell years I just wanted her to be happy in life. Couldn’t care what she does in life but so long as it’s filled with love and happiness that’s all I could want for her.

I haven't read all the replies but her options choices seem normal. The school will have set her according to her ability - top set in the earlier years is great, but if the work gets harder & she isn't finding things as easy it sounds right that she has dropped sets. It may not be about her not putting in effort. A 4 in maths is a pass & will allow her to go forward in college. I am a teacher - most of my Year 10s aren't yet motivated or know where they want to go in life, that is totally okay! I would stop putting pressure on her, support her but don't push, she will get there. If you push & pressure her she will likely go in the opposite direction. Times have changed since we went through the school system. I wouldn't be worried if my daughter was where she is right now. Encourage but don't pressure!

Apologies for bad spelling of academically above!

My daughter isn’t taking a language but she is taking history. School would have liked her to take both. We talked a lot. She put her case forward. I let her drop Spanish for things she enjoys. She is likely to get a higher set of GCSE results without Spanish in the mix. Maybe your step daughters mum had a similar conversation. It doesn’t sound like STEM is her thing. It isn’t everyone’s and that’s ok.

One size does not fit all. You’re essentially telling her at 14 her life is ruined. It isn’t. She still has a mix of science , lang , maths and humanities. That’s great. She will probably be happier and more motivated doing it her way.

You don’t seem to be taking her own choices (the only ones she’s had for herself acedemicly so far) seriously. They’re her choices to make. Support her dont control her.

@Moneypennywise while history and geography are great GCSE subjects, they are not for everyone. None of my DC took both of them and none feel they closed off any avenues they wanted to pursue.

History A level for sure can be taken with out the GCSE anyway. Maybe not geography – but sounds as tho she is not interested in that?

None of my DC took art so they closed off that avenue – but fine by them. Your DSD has taken art so maybe she likes and is good at it? I see she also does Spanish – certainly if Spanish A level is a possibility, the GCSE is pretty essential. So that’s all good.

For my DC at least triple science or not was decided for them. So on that basis, my DD, for example, failed (according to your view) to “keep her options open” as she also dropped CS and history, and had no choice about triple. She got a first at uni tho so it’s worked out OK. The thing is, GCSE choices will close options. All students take the compulsories anyway. I am for sure in favour of a broad education at GCSE level but some narrowing is unavoidable.

Gaining a 4 in maths is fine for most non-science courses at most unis btw. Yes there are some that ask for a 6 for all courses – but they are the very popular ones that ask for AAA at A level so may not be on the table anyway? Apologies if I am wrong there but someone hoping to gain a 4 in maths is probably not going to be aiming for Warwick or Oxford. And that’s totally fine.

her options look great if that's what she's interested in. Combined science won't limit her at all. It would have been good if she'd picked History or Geography but many school don't suggest that now anyway. just encourage her to work as hard as she can.

Why are you being so pushy with her? She's not your child. Be supportive rather than pushy.

What difference would having history/geography make? Genuine question. What options is she limiting?

As for triple science and computer science - in many schools (including my daughter's school) you cannot choose triple science unless you're in top sets. A child who is predicted 4 in maths is likely to struggle in physics and probably chemistry as well as in computer science. Forcing her to take triple science (if that's even an option) and computer science is just setting her up to get poor GCSEs.

Her choices seem to be sensible if she's predicted to do well in them.

With uni courses:

If she wants to do a science or maths university course she needs to do science or maths a levels.

Double science is fine for science a levels - she'll have a bit more of a step up than if she did triple but it's possible and many many people do it.

Even if she got a 6 in maths she wouldn't be recommended to do maths a level - it's really for those who got 8s or 9s, 7s at push.

So she won't have the GCSEs she needs to do a maths degree or a physics degree (because they usually want maths a level for that as well).

But she could very much still do biology (easily) or chemistry (slightly less easily) a level.

The a level route that she's closing off is the maths/physics one and honestly even if she got a 6 in maths this would not be a recommended route.

You do seem to be over-reacting to what is a perfectly normal set of GCSEs. As long as she passes maths (4 or above) then she's fine for uni.

@Moneypennywise As long as she passes maths, will uni choices for humanities/arts really be impacted by having a 4 not e.g. a 6?
Can you evidence that for her?

Other than no history or geography, those look like a totally normal set of options.

I think it could be useful to tutor a child expecting a 4 in maths (to ensure they do get the 4 if nothing else!). However it won't be useful if she doesn't engage or she resents you being the one to tutor her. This very much is one that you have to let her work out whether she wants to do extra work or not. If she's keeping up fine with maths at school, she may not.

Other than that, your view that her options are poor seems to translate as "she didn't do the options I think she should have done". You sound very controlling, even if you were the parent, never mind the step parent with fairly limited contact. It's quite normal for Year 10 students not to really know what they want to do later on and do not be interested in doing more work than that set by school. I'm assuming here she is doing the work set by school? Or that it's actually too early in term to tell.

Yeh I agree with others - CS and triple science are not for everyone and very likely not for her if she is looking at a 4 in maths. Those are not necessarily "better" choices than drama and Spanish. Presumably she chose subjects she enjoyed and felt she was good at, and she has closed no more pathways with them than with any other choices - without art GCSE you cannot really do the A level for example, so if she'd taken CS instead that pathway would be closed.

I think you need to model support and a welcoming home with somewhere for her to study and then back off and leave it to her parents.

This is a matter for her parents, not her step. The only issue I see is a 4 for the maths because that may shut down options for her. For that, if you really care, I'd offer to pay for a tutor. The rest, keep stum.

Why are you focusing on Maths? If she's only with you EOW can't you find an art class, photography class or a drama club you can go to together to show you support her and want to encourage her education in subjects she's interested in?

I think your job here is to be her friend. I think if you can foster friendship and be supportive you can maybe glean what makes her happy and motivated. Then, you can gently support on to the path she wants to go on. If she fails her GCSEs she can retake, it's not the end of the world. But you can't make her want to do the work. Only support her to find her way.

Building a film portfolio??! She's in y10! Those choices seem fine - very similar to what is offered at our school. Triple science is encouraged for those who are more academic but it isn't suitable for all. My DD is academic but not into STEM and she chose not to do triple science, she still has at least one lesson of it a day which is more than enough if you're not keen!

Honestly, drop the pressure. I don't think it's good to ask children to make decisions on their entire futures at 14 picking options - they'll pick things they enjoy and they'll still have choices. If they didn't enjoy science enough to go into triple science now, chances are they're not going to decide to aim for medicine in a year or two.

One other thing I'd say is that with secondary kids (and everyone really) lack of motivation and procrastination often comes from fear of failure. 'May as well not try as I'll fail anyway' sort of attitude. So I'd try to increase her confidence.

How’s your relationship generally?
it’s kind of you to care and want to help but it might be that you’re not the right person and you might be ovwr stepping in her mind.

you can encourage but you can’t force it. If she doesn’t reach her potential with her GCSEs she will be ok, plenty of people revisit things when they’re older