I just need to vent - GCSE results lower than expected

If pyschology is the A level your dd has to drop that isn't the end of the world as she could study it at degree level without having done the A level if she really wanted to.

I am sure that the money you spent on your dd's education will still have been worthwhile. Education is about far more than exam results. Your dd has also done well enough to move on to the next stage, in her case A levels, and that is all she needed to do.

I bet she got brilliant grades. She will be fine.

Too many people go to university now and it's not worth the stress and massive debt.

I know it seems like everyone is getting loads of 7-9s at GCSE and 3 As at A level. But this is far from the truth. Many people get lower grades than this and still do very well. Just remember mumsnet is not the real world. It’s some weird twilight universe where all dc are in the top 3% of the country academically.

It's ok to feel a bit sad and wonder if you could have somehow supported her better @historiccastles, and it's ok that you've come here to get it off your chest.
It sounds like your dd is mature enough to find her own way forward though, and that in itself is almost as important as good grades.

Everyone was telling me she'd be fine, she'd sail through with mostly 7-9s and the odd 6, but she didn't. who has been telling you this and why?

Perspective is needed here OP!

Ah that explains a lot in your reaction. Part of you may be worried history is repeating itself and you understandably don’t want your DD having as challenging a time as you did. It’s ok to be on high alert, I am guessing if your DD did have setbacks like you, she’d have a lot more support than you did! As you truly know what it is like. You’re a good mum and your DD is lucky to have you.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much yet. Let her start sixth form and enjoy it and see how it goes. My son got mostly Cs and some Bs at GCSE, and then got As at A Level.

They aren't your exams. Please don't voice this to your dd. Nothing worse than parents putting pressure of their kids to perform to their own standards.

It’s for her own good she can’t take Psychology, the minimum GCSE grade is to protect students from starting an A level they probably cannot pass.

On a brighter note, Psychology is very oversubscribed in terms of number of jobs are far fewer than degreed jobseekers. Too, she doesn’t seem upset with picking different choices. This could be a happy 😃 chance that gets her onto a course she loves and excels in.

Just warn her that a level ‘’target’ grades are statistically based on GCSEs but along the lines of 10% who got a grade 7 get an A, 15% of them get a B etc - they’re completely movable. She needs to decide what path to take and think about how to get there,

@BrainNotAvailableTryAnotherOne TeentoTwenties was responding to this comment from Hummick:

The only thing I would be frustrated with is the college telling her she has to change one of her choices. What subject was it and what did she get? What is their rationale?

And how does this help the OP, precisely?

@Hummock 6th forms of all flavours will have grade requirements for specific A levels. Eg Many/most require a 7 in maths to do maths A level. Some even require 8s.
If the DC got lower GCSEs than expected then some A levels may now be out of reach.

👏👏 Agree

There have been studies on grade predictions and accuracy. Turns out that teachers often predict higher grades than the grades actually achieved. I don’t think you let your DD down, I think it’s just that you treated predicted grades with too much gravity. They are on average inflated, unless you are not white, in which case teachers tend to predict grades lower than those actually achieved.

Your DD’s life is her life and perhaps a change in choices is not a bad thing, my DD changed her preferred degree three times between GCSEs and first day at Uni.

Sorry, probably my message will sound harsh but I need to write it down.
I do not understand what help you need.
How do you feel responsible for her exams?
But mainly, “preferred universities” at 15? Please….

Maybe your only fault is to have given her too many expectations in her young life.
You sound like those mums that because their child is good and not excellent at football they are upset when at 15 they get told they will probably never play in the premier league.

From the bottom of my heart, she sounds she has done great so give her a hug and go to celebrate the wonderful results.

I think allow yourself to feel this disappointment. Brushing it away isn’t going to work- you’re feeling it, if you could snap out of it right now you would have, so lean in. Write out exactly how you’re feeling, every last bit of it, then shred. Do the same tomorrow, and repeat until you start to feel lighter. Sometimes things bother us, and you objectively know that it’ll pass and that obviously there are worse situations in life, but equally you’re allowed to wallow for a minute and process all of the hard emotions this has brought up. That’s what I’d do and even if you don’t believe this yet, you will feel lighter about it all and it’ll be old news soon enough.

You know her A levels are 2 years away, right?
Plenty of time for her to work out why she got lower results than predicted and if that means she needs to change her uni plans or her study approach.

They are her exams. She needs to accept and address any that were lower than she hoped. And properly address it. But A'level's are a totally different ballgame.

It's the child who studies and takes the exams. I did not grow up in this country and my English educated husband passed away years ago, so GCSEs were new to me. My eldest did terribly - after getting 4/5/6 in mocks he got 3/4s in the actual exams. I too thought what had I done wrong? Not pushed him enough!? Not nagged enough? Not got a tutor in? It was down to him not revising, and I felt I had been encouraging and supportive, worked with him to set a revision schedule and went over bits he had trouble with, but I still felt partially to blame too.
Then it was my DDs turn and she worked and worked and I could see what it took to get 8/9s. I didn't do a thing.
It didn't change my sons outcome in that he had already decided on a vocational college, but it has closed off some options- if he wanted to go to uni now he'd have to take an access course. But it was a big blow to his confidence.
I think your child's results has to be taken as a lesson that it takes A LOT of work to do well in these exams. Sure there are kids who seem to do the minimal and do very well, but most who get top grades work bloody hard.
Luckily there are many good unis out there who will take a range of grades. But I wish it wasn't such a degree driven society! So many jobs don't need a degree, but it seems candidates are favoured over non degree applicants, even if the subject itself is irrelevant. Surely my son's three year plus work record is as good as a degree in English if applying for a job on Tesco Training scheme (as an example)?

Why do you want to take responsibility for her exam results? They're hers and are the end product of the work she put in.
If they're not quite what she had in mind, then there are questions she needs to ask of herself.

Btw my DH failed a year at uni after sailing through school on not much work, not much revision but getting slightly disappointing results that nonetheless were enough to keep progressing to the next thing he wanted. He credits that failed year for all his subsequent success. He was suddenly confronted with the consequences of not working hard.

He says it was the single most important thing that happened to him in his education; much more important than all the success he cruised through up until then.