Take DS out of private? as bad yr 9 results will they translate to good GCSE'S?

Is beyond me

If you can afford private school you can afford a private adhd assessment.
Why you would pay for one but not the other is net

This, I wouldn't pull h out of private if he is happy there and doing well B&C's are still good grades. I think his results would probably nose dive in a comp school especially in a busy, noise environment if his ADHD hasn't been addressed.

So rather than hime getting the same grades and you saving £30k, he would most likely end up with failing grades. Which wouldn't be helpful to him at all.

I also have to ask why you don't believe the private assessment for your daughter? Unless she was actually assessed by an educational physiologist (very unlikely) a state school won't have had anyone qualified enough to do a full diagnosis. They will have probably just have done screening test which can miss mild cases.

School kept telling me DD wasn't Dyslexic and while we haven't had her privately tested I know she is mildly Dyslexic (I'm Dyslexic), college tested her and she qualified for extra time in exams.

If you got medication he’d do better anywhere.

So he’d do better ar private and he’d do better at local state school.

What are the results like when you compare them side by side?

Look at the data.

The Parents Guide to ADHD Medication is a fantastic book! I even read some of it to my son who could identify with so much of what they were saying. It really helps explain the way the medicine works and how beneficial it is.

If he struggles to concentrate in a small class at private school, he will struggle even more in a noisier class of 30.
The issue is the struggle to concentrate, and you must prioritise getting him help for that.
You may find his grades suddenly
improve when he can concentrate! Obvs.

I can’t say for your son but in year 9 my DD was struggling, attendance under 80% and getting threatening letters re her attendance. She did have a health issue (still does) but her mental health was poor on the back of covid and she fell behind in year 8 due to refusing to do online lessons. When the school boiler broke in year 11 and they did online for a week I had to say she was sick, such was the hatred / fear of online lessons. She’s just achieved 11 x 9’s in her GCSE (and one done in year 10 so 12 in total). She’s in a state school. Obviously she doesn’t have ADHD so different circumstance but just saying that between year 9 and 11 a lot changed.

Your poor son. Find a private psychiatrist and book an assessment.

If your child is diagnosed with ADHD then talk to them about medication and get them started on it. Not "herbs".

In the meantime try reading something like 'The Parent's Guide to ADHD Medication' and educate yourself about it. Would you behave like this if he had diabetes or epilepsy?

I have a dyslexic ADHD daughter - medicated - she has no mental health issues of any kind and is a perfectly happy child. With medication she is a less distracted, more focused, more organised, more logical and less impulsive happy child who doesn't fidget all the time. She's also doing much better academically since she started medication.

Doesn't make any difference which school he goes to if the parents are neglectful.

One of the worst things I've ever read on here.

ADHD has nothing to do with happiness tho long term neglect will obviously have an impact, nor is it 'mental health' nor is it anything to do with being a 'boy' FML, OP if this isn't a wind up, social services should be involved. They won't obviously because your protected by privilege but make no mistake, your ignorance is neglect made worse by the fact you have ready access to the support that's needed. Stop pumping your child full of crap and get them the support they need.

Yours too @SuperSue77 Well done for getting your DS the right help and support.

Exactly the same for my son. He can sense his brain drifting off in lessons and zoning out, but when he takes his meds that doesn’t happen until much later in the day. He also got full marks on all his maths SATS (a year ago now) and almost full marks on the English ones.

The question to ask oneself is whether you would medicate your child if they had say, epilepsy, and if yes, then why not for ADHD. Preventing your child from accessing education is going to have a massive impact on their future.

Glad your son is doing so well @ProfessorPeppy

Maybe consider getting a tutor who can tailor his learning to suit him.

I dont think it's correct that the school needs a diagnosis in order to help him. Rather, they should respond to the evident needs of the child.

Your thought pattern on the matter is quite a bit muddled. Lots of questions but let’s start with this one.
Have you started the additional multivits (and usually suggested early am exercise)? Are you and your DS able to commit to a routine (multivits & exercise) long term?

Spend your money on a diagnosis, then get some proper advice from the school on how to support him.

Boys will be boys righto

ADHD isn't "mental health". It is a neurodiversity that can impact planning and concentration. This is considered a disability and support is available as well as medication if required. Girls can also have it.

@sef23 have ypu actually established that there is a place at your local comprehensive for an imminent year 10 start? Discussed with the school whether all or even any of the options your DS wants to take at GCSE are available to him?

I agree with others that it would not be a waste of money to have him properly assessed for possible issues which have realistic remedies (magnesium isn't a herb, btw). But equally, even finding that he does have additional and it can be modified with medication may not produce the academic grades you want him to achieve - he may well be achieving at his level. Paying for education is paying for the third party input, which is only one side of the equation when it comes to outcome.

On the other hand, whether or not he is assessed / medicated, if there is a place for him at the state school and the options available are acceptable to him and he would rather be there than at his current school, then I would take the state place.

What a weird post! Do you or don't you believe in adhd? And what on earth is the "boys will be boys" crap? No! Kids who can't concentrate won't concentrate unless they get help to do so!

This isn't about private v state. This is about your ds potentially having a disability which you refuse to get him help for.

Kids generally get better grades at private schools so if you think he’ll just carry on getting the same grades if you move him to the local comp, you’ll probably be disappointed.

You haven’t mentioned what he would prefer. Presumably you have asked him?

Also, don’t write of medication for ADHD. If he needs help then he needs help.

They'll improve once you get him assessed and medicated.

Alternatively a) give up on him and send him to state, or b) throw good money away.

Up to you 🤷‍♀️

He might not have ADHD, he’s never been assessed.

But you’re be doing him a huge disservice not pursuing assessment and appropriate support, which may include meds if that seems right in the light of a diagnosis.

@sef23 I can’t believe what I just read. Good job your son’s got you in his corner, fighting for support for his disability 🙄🙄

@sef23

DS1 has ADHD. He's on meds because I refuse to accept that boys will be boys.

The first day he took them, he told me, 'I could concentrate today!'. He got almost full marks in his SATs a few weeks ago.

You're wrong about ADHD, boys and meds.