Where is there an excellent mainstream secondary school for an autistic boy who requires some support?

I don’t think what you are looking for exists in the state sector. Simply trying to find small classes and quiet compliant students in the state sector is going to be a problem. The only chain of schools I can think of are perhaps the XP schools which are definitely small but I’m not sure what they are like for SEND and admission is via a lottery so no guarantees.

It really sounds like you need to apply for an EHCP and aim for a resource unit attached to a mainstream school where he has the benefit of the unit support as well as mainstream.

How old is your DS now? When will he be starting secondary school?

When you say he's 'very behind' and there are 'behavioural' issues, could you give any more details? People may be able to suggest schools that fit your DS's profile with some more information.

Is he getting any support now by the way? If not, he sounds like he should be.

It sounds like your DS will need quite a significant level of support in order access the curriculum at secondary school, even in a 'small, nurturing SEN-friendly' school.

Where I live which is a affluent county bordering London, no.

Schools here are strapped for cash. They can't meet SEN kids needs, especially without the extra funding a EHCP brings.

Behavioural issues added in and you would be lucky to not be expelled to a PRU.

You might have a better outcome in a low social economic area and in a school that's berm found Ofsted inadequate in the past ironically as they are better geared up to deal with sen, cope with it and have a higher tolerance level then Ofsted outstanding. They are imo the worse with high level of SEN and no ehcp.

My SEN kids have ehcps. Being expelled is a constant threat in mainstream state and exclusions are frequent legal or not. ( its mot legal)

The SEN system in England is broken. Google safety value agreement.

I'm in Scotland.
DS is registered at an ASL (additional support for learning) unit within a mainstream school. He starts in a few weeks.
There are two of these in our city and DS will be going to the one nearest us.
Classes are tiny (16 kids in the largest group).
It's a mix of ASD, learning disabilities and behavioural problems, roughly divided by age and academic ability.
Kids have the opportunity to go into mainstream classes for some of the day if they want/are able to.
I've some reservations as DS can show high academic ability in some subjects/the right environment/when the mood takes him.
But he really would sink in mainstream so this is the best option for us. I'm hoping they can see him as an individual and support his strengths as well as his weaknesses.
Would something like this work for you OP? You could start by investigating what your council has to offer.
They vary quite a lot: from situations where students take all their lessons in the unit . .. .to places where kids are expected to be mostly in mainstream classes and only visit the unit for support.

The problem is you’ve given a really wide net! What area of the UK would you like to end up in? If you can narrow it down e.g. can anyone recommend a secondary which great at supporting neurodiverse kids say in the East Midlands or in South West London, then people will be able to help a bit more. I would suggest not rural and somewhere where there are options.

You may find a school with a resource unit more supportive even though your son won’t be able to access it without an EHCP, but the teachers will have usually done extra training. I also agree with the posters upthread, look for ethos and size.

More House in Frensham Surrey but it depends what year he is in as it gets full.

It's spealist indi and most kids are paid for via EHCP.

You won't get small classes in mainstream state

I’d look at some of the smaller schools in NI - high schools (non-selectives) or grammars. SEN support is hit and miss here as it is elsewhere in the U.K., but NI has a real range of schools (smaller/bigger, single sex/mixed, strong on music/sport/art etc) and education is valued highly here. Schools also have a relatively high level
of autonomy, which means schools can really have their own ethos in a way which is much harder when there is less autonomy. I am wondering if you’re in Scotland? If so - the education system here in terms of how it’s valued and in terms of parental choice etc is head and shoulders above Scotland.

It’s worth saying that catchments aren’t really a thing here - you apply and sometimes distance from the school matters for entrance criteria, but often it doesn’t - which gives you more choice about where to live and house prices don’t tend to be affected by their proximity to certain schools.

Egerton Rothesay School in Berkhamsted. It’s mainstream but private. A large majority of pupils have their fees paid in full by their local authority as it’s named on their EHCP.

There should be far more of these schools in the UK and provided by the state. It fits that middle ground of children who can access a mainstream education but only with small class sizes and extra support. They do not accept children with behavioural problems.

Apologies OP. I shouldn't have assumed you were in the English school system.

I would say that where ever you do end up, if you feel that your DS requires additional support that is legally enforceable, do apply for an EHCP/equivalent. Don't be put off by what the school/local authority may say. My DS is considered academically able (as in operating two years ahead in some subjects) and he has one.

As I'm sure you know - hence your post! - surviving/thriving in secondary school isn't just about academic achievement.

I can understand why you're considering a smaller school but sometimes larger schools can be as good if not better as they sometimes have more experience of SEN and have more clubs etc where DC can find 'like minded' people. I would say it's more about the ethos of the school than the size.

You don't say what your DS's profile is like. Is he working at 'expected levels'? Do you envisage him taking GCSEs?

Would you consider private?

Does DS have an EHCP? Without one, whatever school he goes to, the support he receives isn't going to be guaranteed (and even with one, it can be difficult!).

It is a catch-22 in that schools that get a reputation for good SEN support can then become a magnet for DC with additional needs. This then puts enormous pressure on the school. A school local to me now has something like a third of pupils with SEN because they are known for their inclusive ethos. They are now really struggling to support those children with very limited resources. This has also had a big impact on their exam results.

Also, an ethos of a school can change quite quickly depending on SLT/Senco.

There are schools that have dedicated units for children with autism so it may be worth looking on your council's website to get a list of those. If your DS has an EHCP you can request a school out of borough.

Ipsea has some good info about choosing a school for those with and without an EHCP: https://www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/choosing-a-school-or-college