Elite award

My DD was a national medalist in a prominent sport. Didn’t even get a look in for the sports prize.

If she’s the best of the best and you know it and she knows it and someone who isn’t the best of the best has got the award you feel your child should have, ask the school politely what the criteria were this year and whether it was something different from last year.

My child is a high achiever, he has won some awards in high school.. there are also many other high achievers in his school so we know for a fact he won't get awarded every year. Often awards are given out for effort even if they don't get As, high grades is not the be all and end all when it comes to awarding students. I think you need to realise that your child is not the only child in school who deserves an award.

You have to let it go but I do think schools need to be a bit more careful. I still remember not getting anything when I was the only one to get top marks across all my subjects at —level at my school. It really pissed me off at the time and clearly can still remember it decades later.

I am going through this a bit with my younger child. She is observant and notices that the really bad behaved kids have got more ‘star of the week’ awards and it’s really annoying her. It sounds so little and trivial but it does have an impact. I’d rather they didn’t bother to be frank if they can’t implement it in a way that doesn’t annoy the kids. If they are cynical about this stuff by the age of 6/7 then they’re not doing it right.

The DC who care will recognize when an award is given on the basis of something other than highest achievement. Perhaps they should just rename the awards to make that clear to everyone else as well.

All of this.

Including the fact that my dds' school have a clandestine awards evening, which you only know about if you have been given an award.
I like that.
I had no idea it happened until the year dc1 got one, and I wasn't so invested that I created a list of the different awards presented to start questioning why she didn't receive any of the other ones.
dd1 was lucky enough to find school easy. She was lucky enough to have parents who supported her. She was lucky enough that she was fairly confident. I know she always got good marks, and those marks were enough feedback for both her and for us to know she was doing well. There were others in her school who perhaps weren't born with a brain that understood things quickly; that perhaps didn't have parents who were able to provide a warm house to come home to with a desk in quiet room to work at; who perhaps hadn't had books read to them every night when they were young, and hadn't had the opportunity to do extra curricula activities. Some of those pupils will have had to have worked MUCH harder to get the same, or even a lower mark than my dc. I, of course, was not privy to that information, but I hope the school took all of that into account, and awarded prizes for all sorts of reasons, not just to the one that was lucky enough to have been born with a brain that means they find a subject easy.
I would think much less of a school that gave the same award to the same pupil each year.

You're being that parent.

If your dd is that bright then she'll be fine and the school prize won't matter one jot.

DD is predicted 3 A* at A level and didn't win any prizes. Completely irrelevant.

You are indeed being that parent.

I actually prefer when schools choose different pupils. Being the kid who does well and gets no recognition whilst the same names get picked year in year out is crushing.

Our DDs old school was like that, to the point where they didn't have a leavers evening like our DS' school have had, instead they invited the same 12 kids who won every award each year for a leavers evening and the rest of probably a year group of 200 kids was snubbed and merely collected their GCSE certificates from the school office. I was so angry that they did that, it reinforced to my DD that they were seen as a failure and not good enough.

DS won an award last year, he is by far the best in his class for the subject and predicted 9 in his exam. He could have won again (and would have at the old school) but was pleased that one of his peers won instead. He doesn't need a piece of paper or a shiny award to know he is excellent at the subject, working hard and achieving his goal is enough for him.

Don't project your attitude onto your child.

My DD won 0 awards in the first 3 years when they were based on teacher selection
After that when it was based on actual marks she won lots
We always said that as long as she was doing her best that was all that mattered
The teachers seemed to go for the (over) confident children with the pushy parents

I am still miffed about the Year 10 History Prize. And I’m 51.

But ultimately school prizes don’t matter at all. Absolutely fine to hold a grudge (I would, obvs). Just don’t go into school about it.

Yes, you would be that parent. Schools spread the awards around. Sometimes the awards are decided by one teacher saying, ‘Hey, who should win the award for computing this year?’ and another one saying, ‘Give it to Annie, she wrote a really cool program for a Mandelbrot’. My DD once won the award for Italian. She only did it for a year, and she was just ok at it, but she liked chatting to her Italian teacher after class and I guess the teacher liked her enthusiasm.

Yes there is!
The award has been given to someone else. Thats not changing.
What would you hope the outcome to be?
The other 13 year old is stripped of her award?
They create a whole new award for the precious DD?
Don’t ask, you’d look like an entitled idiot.

There

My dc who are in years 8 and 10 have both had one award on an awards evening so far - given they hand out awards in maybe 20 subjects and there are well over 300 kids in each year group, I have told them they have both done well to get one as the majority won't get anything during their time at school. The awards evening is also an extremely clandestine affair, with no public announcement and only those who have been awarded informed - presumably because of parents like you. My dd is very good at art and won an art award last year. I had no expectation she would get this again. Other people are also good at art, and it's better imo to let more people have the recognition and confidence boost.

There have been some children who have won several subject awards, fair enough they were nominated by teachers separately but part of me thinks it would be nice if one person could just have one award and then more can benefit. It seems pretty clear to me that out of 300 people their are always going to be a number of kids who could equally deserve the award in terms of aptitude, effort, enthusiasm, progress in a subject - not always just the best.

No matter how great your dd is at a subject chances are she will get to university and discover people who are better - so probably good to realise now you are not always going to win.

What are the criteria for getting the "elite" award?

At my niece's school prizes go the person who gets the highest mark in the exams.

At my DC's school they award prizes based on achievement, effort and interest in the subject.

My niece who is naturally good at maths and doesn't particularly work at it wins her school maths prize year after year. I doubt she would at my DC's school.

Also consider how many children get awards. If it's most of the year, then I'd perhaps agree it's disappointing for OP's DD not to get one. If it's two children per subject and a year group of 480, then much less likely that she should.

It would be tacky to mention it. Rise above, and put yourself in the shoes of the school. They have an award system that doesn't work well - hopefully they will re-think it for next year. In the meantime, let someone else get some credit.

At our school, annual achievement awards are given to students with the top 3 attainment and top 3 progress in each subject. It works better because it allows for more variation. Only families of children getting awards are invited to the evening ceremony, so children not getting awards don't have to sit and watch.

There's no harm in asking at all.

That’s one more than nearly everyone else.
And she has been chosen to represent school for events?? That’s recognition.
Please try and accept that it was someone else’s turn this year. Not getting this award does not detract from her achievements. But it will if you let it.
Whether you agree with this or not, someone else was chosen this year. Nothing you do or say will change that.

Exactly. She's won one. You would be that mother to moan about her nit getting one this year.

I was the only kid from my school to obtain straight top grades in maths and science at both GCSE and A level, and the only one to go to oxbridge, but made it all the way to 6th form without making it to a prize day. The one that really irks, with hindsight, is that the year I was the only kid in the school to obtain the top grade in additional maths GCSE (and the first to do so), they gave the maths prize to someone who had already left the school and was studying medicine at uni.
DS1 has largely repeated this achievement and made it all the way through, finishing with 290 UCAS points and the highest score in the country in one subject, but never winning a prize at school. He did a lot to popularise chess in the school and when they finally set up a chess club, it was oversubscribed, so they allocated places by lottery and he didn't get one.
Schools are toxic places where teachers play favourites - awarding prizes to a minority legitimises this. Or, as one of DS's teachers put it, "today's the day I have to make all but two of the kids feel bad about themselves".

You're one of those parents. Sigh.

Yes. Complain about the school failing to recognise they clearly have the second coming walking among the.

Fgs get a grip , it’s a high school awards night not the Nobel prize .

Move on with your life.

She gets enough recognition for her achievements. Let the other kids have a turn.

Please don't Complain.