My son started secondary school in September, and it has been MISERABLE. He started off getting in little bits of trouble (late for class, chatting, not doing homework), but has spiraled, I now get almost daily calls from the school, I get a text message every single day that he has detentions, he is rude, he walks out of class, spends ALOT of time in Linc, or pastoral, he swears at teachers, he gets aggressive. I have had to leave work on numerous occasions to collect him when he becomes "unmanageable", he actually walked out of the school the other day and appeared at my Mums house, and the school had no idea! They thought he was hiding on site somewhere...... the list goes on and its a living nightmare.
He now say she wants to move school, to get a "fresh start", he thinks if he moves everything will just magically change. I have told him HE needs to change and work on his behavior etc, as it wont be any different at any other school, he will still get in trouble for things, he will have to follow rules, behave in class etc etc but he is adamant everything with will be happy clappy, peaches and cream just by moving schools...... he has said to me he will refuse to attend, as he knows I can't physically force him to go "until you get fined and then you will have to move me"...!!!!
Today I had to go and collect him again, and he basically said infront of me and the Head, if you don't let me move I will just get worse until they expel me.......I have tried to reason, explaining that you can't just waltz into any school you like, especially when you attend one already without good cause...... that people would wonder why a kid would move schools after 1 year, when they currently go to the most local one, unless they have moved or are being bullied - and they would contact his current school and find out that he is actually just a massive pest and then they certainly won't take him. He just cannot see this- I have said if you get expelled, no other school will take you except the worst ones..... nothing seems to deter him and I am literally at my wits end with it all. He blames everyone/everything and will NOT accept his behavior is to blame (teacher hates me, that is a lie, I wasn't THAT bad, I only swore once, my mate was doing it but didn't get in trouble etc etc) he has literally wasted his first year and I am terrified what more is to come...
He has been accepted for an urgent referral to check for ADHD/ADD etc (he was fine in Primary, no sign of this coming at all!), but I have said IF he does get diagnosed, he is still him and has to learn to deal with it...... he is already getting as much support in school as he probably would if he received a diagnosis of some kind. I genuinely don't know where to turn its consuming my whole life and putting so much strain on everyone in our family.......... :(