Teen girls, periods & toilet access - how does it work for your daughter?

DD has a toilet pass as she's autistic and uses them when it's quiet. But otherwise she wears period underwear which would last a school day anyway, she's uses the older ones on the days either end of her period and newer more absorbent ones during the main weeks. She also uses sanitary towels but again with the right absorbency should get you through a good wedge of day. Student with medical issues including heavy periods also get a toilet pass.

I used to teach at a secondary (it wasn't a good one and steadily went down hill) and we were told not to let students go to the toilet and to call "on call" (who never came!). I sat in a staff training meeting and a male staff member asked if in fact a girl said she was on her period whether they could wait until the end of the lesson or whether it was urgent and he had to call the floating staff to take her and the FEMALE SENDCO said "yes, of course they can wait, periods are a normal part of life and they should be better organised if female staff can manage it the students can" not taking into account general unpredictability at the start, flooding or any other issues.
This was a school where half the toilets didn't have toilet seats/locks/toilet roll (due to vandalism) so there was always a massive queue or students smoking/vaping in them and students regularly self harmed and even an OD'd once in them so I understand keeping control of toilet access but preventing girls from accessing them can not be the way.

My DD says she never needs to visit the toilet in lesson times. She knows when her period is due and wears the lighter modibodi if she's worried it will start in the school day. Other than that she goes to the toilet at lunchtime.

It's insane. My daughter was allowed a toilet pass for 3 months which allowed her to leave during lessons.

Logic then tells you she could go at break time but sadly not - it's a 15 min break. You get in the queue, wait 15 minutes and if you are lucky enough to have made the front - great but the rest of you off to lessons without using the toilet. Then you get to class and ask to leave and are told you should have gone at break!

I've told my daughter if she genuinely needs to go to the toilet to avoid an accident or embarrassment that she politely ask and if she is turned down to say 'I'm very sorry but I really have to use the toilet' and to leave the classroom. If she gets in trouble I will 100% back her up.

We've reached another new problem now though. Now toilets are locked. And you have to find the teacher with the key who is often dealing with behavioural / medical issues in a very large school.

I realise it is because children mess around and ask to go to the loo to miss class but that doesn't change the fact that these girls are dealing with a tough change and it's been made a lot more stressful than it needs to be!

I teach in a school where if a student asks to go to the toilet, I let them. If it’s someone who keeps asking I may have a quiet word with them another time or flag it to see if it’s an issue, but generally I trust my kids to only go if they need to.

My DD is the same age as yours and when she’s on her period she says she goes at break / lunch but if she needed to go in the middle of a lesson she’d just ask and it should be fine.

I understand that some schools have huge problems with antisocial behaviour in toilets and bullying etc, so need to keep an eye on frequent toilet visits, but it seems overly complicated to have to get toilet pass every month. I think in your situation I’d be contacting the person who said they’d sort a permanent toilet pass and chase it up. Does your DD have particularly heavy periods so she’s need to go during lessons? Or is it that she might just come on during a lesson? I’d explain whatever the issue is to Head of Year / tutor etc and see what they say.