Secondary schools in NYC

80 replies

Dexter77 · 22/05/2024 16:32

Hello,
we are relocating to New York in summer ‘25. My oldest will need to start secondary school there (currently year six).
I’ve been looking at private schools in primarily Manhattan, but we may well end up buying a house in Brooklyn, so great Brooklyn schools would also very Much be of interest.
I’m finding it a bit hard to read between the lines of the various descriptions and reviews of the well respected schools. I suppose we’re looking for a well-regarded “elite” school with excellent, humanistic academic focus and well-rounded pupils who are natural strivers, but equally we’re not keen on an overly discipline-focused school where children learn in perpetual fear of the next bollocking.

I gather from various reviews etc that many of the best private schools are either “progressive”, “child-led”, “social justice focused” and all about nurturing, which doesn’t fill me with confidence regarding the academic side entirely, and make me worry they’ll be too woke; or very strict, elitist, rigid, offering Latin etc but not very caring at all.

I suppose we’d ideally like something in the middle, if that exists at all? I believe in good discipline and hard work but not harsh punishments for a laughing or slightly unkempt child, would like strong arts and social sciences rather than a big focus on STEM (because of my daughter’s natural interests), some pastoral care from engaged staff in small classes who care, but minus all the talk about “the system” oppressing you and decolonisation and so on.
Does such a school exist in NYC?

My child is bright and curious, excellent in writing and reading etc, struggling a bit in maths but mostly owed to Covid, quite sensitive, very hard working but on occasion discouraged or buckling under stress - eg when she feels unprepared for a test or when the classroom becomes very loud and rowdy, or when bullying occurs.

Any advice from parents who have experience of any NYC private schools would be greatly appreciated!

FWIW, I’m currently interested in Nightingale-Bamford and Dwight, followed by Dalton and Columbia prep, followed by British international, Calhoun
and Leman probably. Plus a few others.

Many thanks in advance, and apologies for the long post!

OP posts:

DibbleDooDah · 22/05/2024 22:23

Calhoun is worlds apart from Nightingale Bamford. It’s totally woke with no classroom walls etc. I know kids at both but no personal experience.

Original poster

Dexter77 · 22/05/2024 22:22

LimeSqueezer · 22/05/2024 21:37

"we’re not keen on an overly discipline-focused school where children learn in perpetual fear of the next bollocking."
I do not think this is a valid concern about any NYC private sschools. Latin is not a marker of strictness, just academic expectations!

The points I would worry about are:

the pressure to perform academically as well as in everything else - music, art, sport, community service, etc, etc, to be perfect in all ways, to get into Harvard, Princeton, Yale, etc. It can feel crushing, especially at the very top schools and because of what US colleges require.
"Wokery" - especially depending on your views on trans issues.
Getting in! It's incredibly competitive!!

Your school list is rather eclectic. You list NBS first, but not Spence, Chapin, or Brearley. You list Dalton, but not Trinity. Dalton and NBS always used to be in a totally different league from the others you mention (but similar to the ones I've added). In Brooklyn, there's St Anne's and Brooklyn Friends, but you could also commute in to some Manhattan schools.

My info is not totally up to date, but I hope helpful.

Many thanks for all this info! I didn’t mean to say Latin is an unwelcome marker of strictness - I enjoyed it for 7 years myself in school and would quite like for my daughter to at least have the chance to think about choosing it, too. I meant it appears as if the schools offering Latin are overall placing a premium on more rigid tradition and formality - I may well be wrong! Just a first impression from afar.

Very interesting re your point about wokery, can I ask what you mean by that? I’m a gender critical feminist and feel very strongly about not wanting my daughter, who is quite impressionable socially, to be brainwashed in this area, or generally led down an overly woke/socialist political path by her teachers.

You are right - our list is very eclectic at the moment, I should add we have only begun researching schools. I liked aspects of them all - some seem to have richer timestables and extracurricular offerings than others, whereas others seem to have huge parental fan bases praising the lovely atmosphere, or a focus on active debate in each lesson, and so on.
All the others you mention are on our long list - and we will most likely try to view them also. I didn’t love them at first sight and Brearly for instance seems to be too social justice and community service focused for my liking, similarly Spence and Chapin.

Thanks so much for your insights, so appreciated!

OP posts:

LimeSqueezer · 22/05/2024 21:37

The points I would worry about are:

the pressure to perform academically as well as in everything else - music, art, sport, community service, etc, etc, to be perfect in all ways, to get into Harvard, Princeton, Yale, etc. It can feel crushing, especially at the very top schools and because of what US colleges require.
"Wokery" - especially depending on your views on trans issues.
Getting in! It's incredibly competitive!!

My info is not totally up to date, but I hope helpful.

Decorhate · 22/05/2024 18:10

The only one I know anything about is Dalton, my cousin’s kids went there. I got the impression that they chose it for the creative & nurturing side of things. They have all gone on to good universities (but not Ivy League) and are lovely young adults.

Bunnyannesummers · 22/05/2024 18:00

I think your DC would be going into middle school in the states, not secondary?

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