Secondaries: State or Private around Blackheath area SE3? Opinions on these schools?

Trinity from SE3 is not straightforward?

Colfes is OK - lot of scholarships and bursaries and more down to earth than many independents - but not cheap if you're on full fees?

If u don't mind single sex and willing to look slightly further out, Trinity School has a school culture that emphasises social diversity (more than 50pc on some form of bursary or scholarship) and hard work. Buildings are not Hogwarts, but it has several rugby, hockey and other pitches. Music department is outstanding.

It’s much better now under new leadership. This is the one I’d pick if I had to.

This was our experience too, which is why my children left quite promptly.

Crikey, Tallis sounds… interesting.

I went from state school to Oxbridge, like your husband. The weird thing is all the poshos I met can get along with anyone. I don’t know how they manage it. Perhaps they have lessons.

O yeah, another special memory from Tallis -a child who physically assaulted their tutor being awarded tutee of the month, or something similar, I forget exactly what it was called.

John Roan, I have not experienced it personally, but I knew it was in a state of civil war a few years back - locally I hear it is as bad, or worse that Tallis

Tallis is in a state of total anarchy. It is the worst school I have ever seen. Ironically it has some fantastic teachers, but they don't really get a chance to teach.

Fights with throwing acid and DT tools at each other, spending lessons running up and down the fire escapes dodging teachers, preverbal children with SEN sitting in classrooms all day every day banging sticks on the table, students bringing games controllers in, setting up their phones as screens on the back table, putting their feet up and playing video games throughout the lesson, illiterate children not given any support in learning to read, instead, everything is read to them. Repeated arson attempts. Children asleep on the floor of the classrooms in lesson time, teacher spending the whole lesson locked in the disabled loo, refusing to come out. Blatant racism. The head didn't seem to notice any of this, and just sat in her office working on her other job, which was newspaper columns of some description. Exam results are poor, but even those are not reliable, cheating is rife and not challenged.

I was there 3 months before resigning. I was injured by flying furniture twice.

Graveney has a good reputation and the ex-students I know have done well and were very happy. I also know someone who taught there recently who thought it was a good school - they only left for promotion.

I think you should look at Colfe’s. It was a state grammar until a change in government policy in the 1970s. Lots of parents share your views and many are first time users of independent schools, but they know their children will be happy and have a well rounded education. It is not a hot house. Many parents make big sacrifices to pay the fees and there are scholarships available for those on low incomes, including some 100% bursaries in the sixth form. It does not attract the type of parents who are seeking social advantage through their child’s school (recent Mumsnet post on where A listers sent their children!).

A Level point score - Colfe’s 46.05, Thomas Tallis 33.33, John Roan 33.8, no A Level results yet for LAB as it only opened in 2018, (it achieved Ofsted Outstanding at is first inspection which is impressive, but only 22% of boys achieved EBacc at grade 5 plus - GCSEs in English, maths, sciences, geography or history and a MFL, so I would look at this in more detail given you have a son).

I'm fairly local to there, I send both DC to state schools but I wouldn't choose/ settle for any of those options if I could afford private. Colfes is a nice option if you don't want hot house pressure or too many super wealthy kids. It's fairly 'normal' middle class as far as I know. Buildings are a bit like a state school but nice playing field and good teaching

Surely he will have to sit entrance exams for the indie options (unless your DH is thinking of finding an indie which gives the polish but isn't too bothered about the academics, just for the sake of indie rather than state on your DS's cv?).

Tallis is the worst academically, but none are great really. https://www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/schools-by-type?step=default&table=schools&region=203&geographic=la&for=secondary&orderby=ks4.0.PTL2BASICS_95&orderdir=asc

Tallis is probably perceived as 'better' than Roan locally - but none of them are like Graveney if that's what you're after? Maybe go and have a look round them.

There are single sex schools for girls that you could consider? Eltham Hill / St Ursulas / Greycoats (in town) - not sure there are any real boys equivalents.

in SE3 you will also be able to access the Bexley grammars and St Olaves. Appreciate you don't like the idea of an entrance exam but it might be worth considering if you're planning to stay in SE3?