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School uncomfortable with DCs work experience placement.

56 replies

charliepaytonsmum · 09/04/2024 14:47

So my daughter (15) has chosen to do her work experience (placement not with school, we arranged it ourselves, which is allowed) she has chosen to go to a funeral home, for a few reasons and non of them particularly morbid. She thinks it's important to understands what happens to your body after you die and how death is handled because (her words) nobody talks about it but thats because maybe they don't know them selves. She thinks it's important to be aware and understand as to not be so afraid of death. She also hates that fact that's its a very male dominated industry and even in today's society its rare for funeral homes to employ women, especially the old family run ones. The funeral home she will be attending is female owned and run (and the ownder is a good friend of my Aunt), and it is the only female owned funeral home in the city and as far as I know surrounding areas. She's wants to learn from this owner in particular as she was rejected by every funeral home in our city when she first started out so decided to open her own. My daughter is not looking to satisfy some morbid curiosity, she really believes that this is an important fact of life that everyone should know and its all very matrer of fact and scientific for her. We went to the funeral home for an informal chat and look around to make sure she was comfortable in the environment and was comfortable discussing her expectations and reasons why she wanted to do this, all without my input or help. School said they were uncomfortable with it and don't want her to be traumatised but I know the owners aren't going to put her in a traumatic situation and I trust them completely. They said that they weren't sure that she was emotional ready what ever that means, maybe the fact that sometimes at school she gets over stimulated and has had a couple small panic attacks but this is due to crowds, louds noises particularly noise associated with crowds and people, which is obviously not going be be an issue is a small quiet funeral home. I know iv rambled a bit but I suppose my query is can they actually lagally stop her from doing this. In the UK.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 09/04/2024 15:09

What is your daughter actually going to be doing in this funeral home?

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 09/04/2024 15:06

How's does the funeral home deal with putting the additional burden of permission onto the very recently bereaved, do they tell them a 15 year old school child will be present when their loved one is being (for want of a better word) "processed". Not sure I would have been happy for a 15 year old child being present and would have preferred to maintain my loved ones dignity.

Also not sure I would have wanted a random 15 year old in my mums kitchen when talking to the funeral director about arrangements for her funeral while still reeling from her death.

ThreeFeetTall · 09/04/2024 15:05

Can't help with your exact question but have you or your daughter read Caitlin Dougherty books? She is a mortician in USA. I found her book very interesting

Thegoodbadandugly · 09/04/2024 15:01

I can kind of see their point of view, if she comes into contact with dead bodies and grieving people it could be traumatic for her.

DeedlessIndeed · 09/04/2024 15:01

The only thing I'd consider is when you mention your DD getting over stimulated, is whether this is ever triggered by stress/emotional scenes/nervousness or awkwardness.

I imagine she will not be interacting directly with the bereaved, however she may be present when mourning families come in to discuss arrangements. As long as you feel she is strong enough for this I think it could be a good opportunity.

Whilst I do fully sympathise with people having panic attacks, I don't think I'd feel the same if I was arranging a loved ones funeral.

Stressfordays · 09/04/2024 14:54

Yet they're happy for them to go to care homes where the things they witness may be far more traumatic (even if they're not providing personal care). If the place is happy and you and your daughter are happy, they'll have to lump it I'm afraid. Your daughter sounds amazing, death really is a taboo subject when it shouldn't be. She'll learn a lot.

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