To move school mid Y7 when she is doing great?

@Vive42 u do know the state school she's joining would have to receive documents from her previous state school? Confidential files etc... you can't just pretend you're sick for two weeks. I don't think you realise how admissions work. Being part of a scholars programme in your local comp is not the same as being a scholar in a private school. It's not a factor in admissions at all. I think you've misread the OP.

@Vive42 these are State schools, you can only be registered at one. And as soon as a space is available, they have to offer it to the next person on the list.

The best the OP could promise is going back on the waiting list.

@Foxesandsquirrels I disagree. I think it can be pretty apparent from early on if you'll like somewhere or not. If it's kind of OK in the first week, you just know it'll be OK probably.

The DC is a scholar so they obviously wanted her and would rather keep her, I'd imagine they'd be OK with her going off somewhere else. Why not even call in sick for 2 weeks!

Maybe OP has to pay extra set of school fees anyway if notice not given in time. As a parent I would almost feel entitled to a trial given that i'm paying so much that I may not be using up!

Some places you just know from day one there's an atmosphere, the teachers, the children, the setting - you feel it. But then I'm very attuned to places so perhaps it's different for me.

It's something that wasn't discussed by OP as to the character of her child- does she make friends easily, has she settled elsewhere OK?

It sounds like she does fine, so I'm sure it will be fine. I'd just be kind rather than so black and white. But hey, it's all just opinion on here, using our own frames of reference as a guide. I hope your DC settles well OP.

@Vive42 that conversation is very different age 16 though and when it comes to sixth form. Ops dds space will get snapped up quickly. A 2 week trial age 11 with a promise to go back if it doesn't work out will be awful. It'll take about a term to see if it's really not going to work. No one will hold a spot that long.

Europa is a bit weird in all things admissions though. I guess someone is leaving the French stream and they want the place filled.

I would also have talked to her existing school and explained the situation and asked if they were comfortable to allow a trial.

Also OP the UK is much more flexible in terms of study-into-work opportunities than France - in fact most of the EU.

You can study History at degree level and as long as you have a B in maths A-level you can get hired by any of big five accountancy firms and train to be an accountant.

Similarly you can convert from chemistry degree to study Law via the legal practice course.

Graduate employers are very open to many different subjects in various companies. Of course medicine, dentistry, engineering etc - they all require specific degrees - but all the rest of the jobs - not so much.

Whilst I agree that the Bacc is great for all rounders there are I would guess, a majority of people that are skewed towards arts or STEM and allowing them to focus earlier at A-Levels on subjects they love is a win win. They are more focused and motivated and do better.

So the UK system I would argue is more flexible all round, despite narrowing earlier on. Just something to think about...

@Foxesandsquirrels I'm in this exact situation with my DD for sixth form.

She wants to leave but she's scared. I have said she can return to the school she's currently at and if it doesn't work out at sixth form where she's planning to go, she can go back.

Other people have returned to the school after it not working out for them, it's not uncommon in fact. The school welcome them back.

It means she can try the new school without fear.

I also was given this option at 16 where I held two places. I was allowed to trial one week at the new school and my existing school were very magnanimous and agreed to allow me to go.

I met a lovely bunch of girls and stayed at the new school. But it made it so much less stressful to know the option to return was on the table.

I don't think "she'll never settle" is the case at all. Many move and are happy but a small fraction want to return and I don't see why there is a problem with it?

@Vive42 I genuinely wouldn't do that, ever. She won't settle if she thinks there's a chance to come back. Plus that's also a lie, her space will likely be gone. I agree with the rest of it. With my DD the safety net was that if it's absolutely awful we will move her, but it won't be back to the same school she's just left.

I'd make a genuine offer to allow her to return to her other school if it doesn't work out. She's going from being special and a scholar and presumably a fair bit of work to get that? To now being like everyone else.

It's hard to be 11. You're not in control of that much and now she lost control further of so much that has been familiar for a long time.

I'd acknowledge there are going to be ups and downs. That it's not going to be plain sailing all the way through.

I'd imagine it will be OK but sometimes we need to know a safety net is below us so we can make the jump. If there's no safety net, it's terrifying. You sound good at jumping but not everyone is. In fact many people aren't.

@SimonBolivar I do think you seem very reasonable and you writing that context does make more sense. Just so you know, I'm not anti moving schools. I essentially forced my DD to move at the end of Y10 last year, retake 10 and a term in had to accept it was the worst thing. I've just moved her AGAIN and she's finally happy again. This is a kid who, 10 months ago, had the most normal education and only moved schools once, at the normal time. Since July last year she's been to 3 different secondary schools!
My point is, you really never know what will work out. DD was fine to move last year, until we got the go ahead and it was real. We had the biggest pushback ever and all summer long I was enemy number 1. You can imagine what happened when it turned out the school was rubbish and she only lasted a term there!

I can see your point of view, she’s only 11 and she’s not giving you any reasons other than friendships. But at 11 friendship is the most important thing to her, and however much you say she won’t lose those friends their relationship will change, and you do need to acknowledge that with her.

My parents decided we should all go to boarding school for sixth form, as our school was dire. The eldest loved it so they pushed second child, who purposely failed her GCSEs so she couldn’t go. Despite that they then pushed me even more, so I also failed a lot of mine on purpose so I could only go to the local college.

Nobody can see into the future, she may settle quickly and thrive at the new school, I really hope she does. But if she doesn’t, please take her seriously and listen to her. If she hates it please move her back. Keep a close eye on how she is coping, not academically but her mental health and her wellbeing. If she’s prone to internalising feelings this is even more important to be vigilant about as it may not be obvious.

I just looked at the website. She won't do any GCSEs? I was going to suggest maybe telling her she can always move for sixth form but you're really in for the long haul at this school. How on earth do you know at 11 that she will be suitable for IB?

I honestly don’t really see why it would be worth all this. You have already done all the hard work of teaching her French at home. If being excellent in written french becomes important at any point she will have the basis to achieve that. If I were you I would leave her where she is and put my energy into strict OPOL at home and spending as much time in France as possible during the holidays.

Why would she make the effort, painstakingly and excruciatingly, to explain all her reasons for not wanting to go, if she knows you won't change your mind? That's a lot of emotional effort, to stay calm and analytically explain. She knows instinctively that even if you "listen", ie quietly hear what she's saying, you won't "listen" as in allow your opinion to be changed.

Several posters on here have attempted to dissuade you of this plan, and we have the advantage of not being emotionally involved, and being grown ups. And we've failed. So what hope does she have? So she doesn't even try, there's no use

"i really want to listen, she just hasn’t given us anything except - I’ll miss my friends and I don’t want to go."

@SimonBolivar in the kindest way possible, she's 11. What are you expecting her to say? That is what's important for her. She is telling you but you're not listening. She's even snowing you with her behaviour. It does feel a little bit like you're only willing to accept one answer from her.
On one hand you're expecting her to have a very mature and understanding response, and at the same time you're looking for something as patronising as a book about changes...
Don't expect her to be jumping with joy and do accept that as a parent there are decisions you'll make where you'll need to be a punching bag for a little bit. Obv there's limits but her response is very normal.
Don't just go on about how amazing it'll be. She needs to hear from you that you also share some of her concerns and that it'll be ok. You acknowledge she's only 11 and the decision is yours, but you are expecting her reaction to be the same as someone much older. You need to lay out what you're going to do to support her, even if it means telling her that look, it's ok if you're angry at me for a bit, I understand.

She must feel frustrated because you are convinced this is in her best interests. So, trying to explain to you why she doesn't want to go, is an uphill battle.

A few key points: you said she replies in English when you speak to her in French. I was the same as a child (brought up in a trilingual household, never picked up the other two languages and almost developed selective mutism from the stress of it). If she doesn't enjoy a bilingual home, she'll probably find a bilingual academic environment worse.

Secondly you say blithely that she's bad at expressing emotion - but she's trying to now. I think based on your update, it's you who is unreceptive.

I wouldn't underestimate how hard it is to make a whole new set of friends, get to know a whole new set of teachers, especially for certain personality types. A defensive mum upthread got angry at me for saying so, but it's been shown to set kids back academically.

Trust your daughter's instincts. The touted benefits of this school don't seem to outweigh the upset you are putting her through

Do your DC have dual nationality?
Less point in speaking fluent French if its difficult for them to live and work there in the future, although additional languages are always great to have.

@SimonBolivar I would strongly push for a start before Easter.

6 weeks to accept is very very unusual.

I'd move her before Easter if you possibly can.
Mine started a few weeks before the end of the school year. It was the best thing we did (after DS2 accepted he'd finished Y3, but yes, he was back in Y3, and no, he wouldn't be in Y3 after the summer holidays).
I'd get her started as soon as you can get uniform sorted.