11+ preparation for DD who turned down offer from Bute House and Latymer Prep

Personally I think you are very silly for turning down Bute house. Hundreds of girls try for the few places they have. It is Probably the most nurturing yet successful school there is for this age group. Not to mention the facilities it has to offer compared to most other schools in central London. The leavers destinations are to all the top schools in the country hence the high demand for a place here.
I also wouldn’t put my daughter through the confusion and worry about doing trial days and assessments when you already liked the school she was at. Bute do not like tutored children so if you are looking for a tutor now at such a young age maybe you did make the right decision but personally I would stay away from that at this young fragile age.

Some long posters take particular keen interest in sharing her 11+ related preparation experience in the thread for years. The 11+ related threads probably accounts for 70% content of the secondary section. I think inevitably you will find the same posters encounter again and again with the same information in many threads.

I’m surprised you think that state is the better option compared with the schools you applied to (disclaimer: I know nothing of these schools 😅). In an alternate universe, where money was no object, I would have taken my children out of their outstanding primary and opted for an academically selective prep without a second thought.

But perhaps I’m being naive and assuming too much about the quality of teaching and small class sizes on offer from selective prep schools.

As it was, the only option available to us is state and we’re lucky that our local primary is excellent. But does it prep children in any conceivable way for the 11+? Not at all. I found it incredibly stressful even though we tried to keep the tutoring fairly minimal and low key.

It’s a rollercoaster and only worth the angst if you end up where you want! Good luck.

OP, you may feel frustrated by the other poster’s criticism of your questions. But reporting them won’t change anything if they are genuine posters.

You should know that this is the online world, where any “honest, personal experience opinion” may not be accurate or even truthful. Some poster, when they encounter information that contradicts their views or arguments, try to label other poster as trolls. This is when the forum moderator intervenes and examines the underlying information to take appropriate actions. It is recommended to use the information in conjunction with real life to form your own judgement.

I think the way some people hunt for trolls in this discussion is harmful, especially those who claim to share their honest experiences, but then attack others who have different or opposing views as trolls. It is good to see Bonjours trolls hunts post get reported and removed rightly so.

“Troll hunters”-posters accusing others of being trolls, resulting in a thread descending into either a pile on or a spat between a few posters (suspected troll and one or more posters accusing them of being one) which ends up going totally off topic and turning rather nasty. The preferred approach is to report any poster one suspects of being a troll and let Mumsnet team look into it and deal with it as necessary.

what an incredibly weird thread. The other thread I went on in a similar topic also went bananas. What is it about the names of these two particular prep schools that seems to cause meltdown.? By the way, I don’t know what Trollhunter is – obviously very naive.

@HighRopes @Happybunnyxxx , very much agree that it is important that people are aware of the track record and behaviours of posters, especially when they question (under the pretence of superior knowledge or 'pseudo-science') the honesty of other posters that are sharing their personal experience or views. It is no surprise that drama follows certain posters that behave in an unnecessarily confrontational manner, and the quality of the conversation and the associated threads suffer as a result.

Going back to the matter in hand, I agree with @BonjourCrisette that there are indeed plenty of kids from state schools getting into (very) competitive schools at 11+. The process is very different to the 7+ one and it is definitely worth your while considering your approach - of course, it will depend on the DC, type of school you are aiming for, and level of parental involvement (vs tutor). A DC working at higher depth, with an interest in learning outside school, engaged parents (who encourage educational activities) and tutoring from Y5 that focuses any parts of the CV not covered at state school, any areas of relative weakness (that would become more apparent in Y5) and on exam technique (including considering the different types of exams associated to the schools you might be aiming for) is usually well equipped to do well in the 11+ - at least, we know several cases where that has been the case. Extra-curricular activities can help (not least to balance the academic element in the DC's life, but also because schools, especially some, are keen for DC to participate in the whole school life) but, even with excellence in music / art / sports, the exam acts as a filter (at least for the more competitive school).

@ClaraMumsnet Noted, and I have a personal rule never to respond to PreplexJ and generally try to avoid posting on threads s/he is on. But as @Happybunnyxxx said, some posters do find it helpful to have certain behaviours pointed out. Longer posters on this board are well aware!

Yes, of course I understood about being slightly flippant, but I can see what you mean. Best of luck to DD2, as well.

I'm being slightly flippant, re PTSD but it was certainly a brutal year of tutoring.

We're enjoying a peaceful Y6 and enjoying family time before DD2 goes into Y4 next year and starts the journey again!

Good luck to everyone going through it.

Hope your PTSD abates, @medicalmysterymachine. It is a bit of a brutal process at times but hopefully everyone ends up happy with the outcome in the end.

Yes, you clearly had little thing to add, at least not this name.

Based on the number of thanks button I have received in the posts maybe I do have some useful information to entertain. And good luck to your DD.

I have nothing to hide. We were in the 11+ journey last year and your name repeatedly popped up (well beyond the point people had asked you politely to stop chipping in). It was clear English wasn't your first language so I think people cut you slack to start with but you became increasingly belligerent and insistent.

DD thankfully passed her 11+ (awaiting state school allocation), but I often get drawn to 11+ threads. PTSD perhaps or the wish of helping others if I have anything useful to add!

I normally don't have anything useful to add. Maybe you should consider that yourself @PreplexJ ?

There must be a reason your repeated report was unsuccessful.

Maybe there is something that affect your narrative deeply, but you don’t want to face it. Why are you drawn to the 11+ thread?

That would be supremely useful.

I've reported @PreplexJ for trolling any 11+ thread multiple times over the last year but her strange brand of unintelligible belligerence and unwanted commentary seems to be something we'll have to put up with.

Sometimes I really wish for a block user function.

@highhope3 this is clear as day!

No I'm not talking about myself. It is fine that you don't understand.