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Original poster

Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

213 replies

Tsc2011 · 04/02/2024 11:50

My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

OP posts:
Another76543 · 04/02/2024 12:25

Assuming your £130k income figure is gross, and assuming that it’s split roughly equally between both parents, your net income will be around £8000 per month. With school fees of £2000, you’re left with £6000 per month. I think it’s fair to say that the majority of families could manage on £6000 a month. There’ll be plenty of people at private school in similar positions.

Others at private school will be earning a lot more, others a lot less (and might have bursaries). Others are helped by family members.

photoframethatmoment · 04/02/2024 12:24

To be brutally honest, my husband alone earns more than your combined salary. No family help, no scholarships, no loans.
We currently have 2 children in private primary.
As above, some people earn more than others.

theduchessofspork · 04/02/2024 12:21

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move

This sounds sensible to me

DarkAcademia · 04/02/2024 12:19

We earn a fraction of what you do and we have family help. My parents were very very parsimonious when I was growing up and we had very little. Now they have substantial savings/pensions and we all agree that school fees are a far better way to spend it than inheritance tax.

I know every family’s finances are different, but I’m surprised you can’t imagine affording it on that combined salary. At the school my kids go to there are many, many parents who are certainly on less and don’t have family help, but live in modest houses, go on very modest holidays etc. If you can’t afford it, it’s not about “affording” so much as that you prefer to arrange your finances differently, which is fine.

user146990847100 · 04/02/2024 12:17

At our school there is a mix of scholarship kids, very wealthy/high earners and then others with grandparents paying fees as an efficient inheritance tax strategy.
There is also a fees in advance scheme if you’ve got a lump sum to spend, but thats less attractive now interest rates have risen.

LivesinLondon2000 · 04/02/2024 12:13

I think you’d be surprised at how many grandparents pay school fees. It’s very common.

Original poster
Tsc2011 · 04/02/2024 12:09

@Smartiepants79 that’s interesting. I wouldn’t say we have an extravagant lifestyle at all really (it feels quite frugal at times). One holiday abroad a year (~£4k), one car. Our house (newly renovated when we bought it) has taken up a lot of our spending for the last 4 years (around £30k) after finding issues but we’re almost at an end with that and plan to sell. Even if we didn’t spend on the house improvements our savings would still only be £1.7k / month so not enough to send both. Our mortgage is £1500/month currently. Out of interest, can i ask how much you put in to savings/ fees after bills etc. I’m just wondering where we could cut back.

OP posts:
BoohooWoohoo · 04/02/2024 12:07

I lived in a grammar area so moved as my kids were unlikely to get a spot. No regrets about that choice and they got good grades/qualifications in a comprehensive school.

myphoneisbroken · 04/02/2024 12:02

Your outgoings are obviously pretty high (mortgage?) - one option would be to downsize to reduce housing and other costs.

Turmerictolly · 04/02/2024 12:01

People afford it from higher incomes, inheritance, grandparents assisting with fees (our dc grandmother paid a term each year but that was for primary several years ago - we were definitely the poorest people there). Dc then got into a grammar - still needed tutoring too. Others receive bursaries or scholarships which part pay some or all of the fees. Could your dd try for a scholarship? I don't think they're worth as much these days but it all helps.

Why don't you consider moving to a good, non grammar school area now so you don't have to worry about it? If that isn't possible then tutor and hope for the best.

Smartiepants79 · 04/02/2024 12:01

Well we have a similar combined income to you and we manage to send both ours privately at similar costs.
What are you spending all your money on now? Can you change any of that? In the end it comes down to priorities. For us the girls education was a priority. We would do without many other things in order for them to stay in their school.
We have no help from anywhere by the way.

TheChosenTwo · 04/02/2024 12:00

Some people earn more money than others.

123Valentina123 · 04/02/2024 11:57

Grandparents, investments, cutting back in other things like holidays and cars?