Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

@Tsc2011, unfortunately I'm in Greater London so don't know school areas in the North. Hopefully there'll be other posters who can help though. I've heard places like Hampshire and Winchester have good state schools but I don't know these areas myself. Maybe you could start a new thread asking about very good state school areas in the North? Also, I guess you have to weigh up the costs of moving, possibly to a more expensive area, with the fees.

The families I know/know of mostly don't pay the whole fees out of their base salary. There might be some other income e.g. rental properties, holiday lets, investments, or it comes out of inheritance or grandparents or other relatives are helping out.

The thing with paying private fees out of salaries is that it also relies on you both sustaining that income (or higher) for the next 7+ years. You read some horrible threads on here where income has dropped and people are having to consider pulling children out of schools that they love. What would happen if one of you became ill or disabled and couldn't work as much (for example?)?

I'm not sure if you're factoring this in, but it's worth factoring in a minimum of 10% fee rises per year as well. Schools recently (state and private) have been facing a lot of increases in costs, and also staffing costs for private schools are increasing. In order to be sure of recruiting, they often have to pay over the odds.

Have you been to visit the local private school(s)? Do you think they offer value for money? There is one around here I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

Op as more than one person has said, grammar schools are state schools. It’s good to be clear on that sort of thing tbh.

I mean bc if you move to an area with no grammar schools, all the non private schools will be state schools, but they will be a bit different from the “state” schools where you are now.

Our household income is a bit less than yours, but I work in a private school so get a whopping discount on fees. Makes it just affordable.

We have a combined income of about 120k so a bit less than you. We have one car (it’s a lease car on salary sacrifice from Dh work). No mortgage now (only because of a critical illness payout), and we only have one child. Hence he can be in private.
Tbh if we still had a mortgage we would be struggling to afford his education.

I think the point is the OP combined earning are £130k and they don't live in an affluent area so the assumption would be that most people earn less than they.

OP it may be that some people DO earn a lot but have chosen to live in a not affluent area precisely so they can afford fees.

Grandparents are frequently helping those that appear to not possibly earn enough.

DS is moving to private this year (age 10). DD will follow in 5 years for secondary. Here's how with no inheritance or GP help.

• combined income £160k
• moving them later (ie upper primary/secondary)
• overlap of 3 years only
• remortgaged last year and took out some money to support those 3 years of double fees (money invested at the moment earning nice interest)
• in Scotland so fees not the crazy ones you see on MN a lot
• one car
• holidays but not luxury. Overall not a luxury lifestyle
• don't need to move house and house quite low maintenance.
• we'll be 57 when DD is in 6th year (ie last year of fees) so can access pensions then for breathing space.

@Tsc2011 sent state primary so spent those years saving for secondary. Ended up with 4 years of fees in savings when she started Yr 7 in September..
Only 1 child. Have put any spare cash over last 6 years into savings pot for fees + overpaying mortgage.

Yes I agree with those who say it will be tricky to move if your second child fails the 11+. You won’t want to move the first dc, and you’ll be unlikely to be able to move in time to apply for the second.

I would move now tbh. Lots of areas have great comp schools.

People with kids at private school generally and on average make decent money. 130k sadly just isn't what it was a decade or so ago... but hopefully you find a way to work it as it's still decent money

That’s a good point! A year 4 child (so 8/9) is very different from an 11 year old. We all have worries about secondary school and how they’ll cope but the vast majority settle well. They do seem little at first but grow up considerably in the first term.

We think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools
This is really common feeling for parents of first time secondary parents. You see those big teenagers loitering around and feel terrified at the idea of those being their school collegues. But the truth is, she would probably be just fine. It's good for them to learn to cope with all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds and 11 year olds are incredibly resilient.

Our house (newly renovated when we bought it) has taken up a lot of our spending for the last 4 years (around £30k) after finding issues but we’re almost at an end with that and plan to sell.
If you're planning on selling anyway, why not make the move to an area with more evenly good state provision? at one stroke you could wipe out all the worry of dodgy state schools / competitive grammar entry / private costs.

Grammar schools are state schools.

I'm not sure how your plan to move if both don't get in will work - unless you have twins (which your post suggests not) then you won't know that both haven't got in until the second tries by which point your oldest will be settled in secondary school and you won't want to move them. Plus by the time they've taken the 11+ you will have very limited time to move before school admissions have to be in.

If you're saving 1.7K now, surely there are more savings to be made on our income? Childcare is probbaly a big one. Plus you presumably have a savings pot already built up?

we have a small house in a not brilliant area, ancient cars, work a job and a half each and rarely go on holiday (we haven't be abroad for 15 years). In our case private due to SEN was the only option for two of our children hence the sacrifices. Our income is slightly less than yours but we have four children, live in the south east & both have professional jobs with freelance on the side for comparison.

Most people don’t spend £4K a year on a holiday - but that’s still only a smallish chunk of your earnings.
You either need to cut back on things (cars on finance? Expensive Sky / mobile contracts?) or send them to state schools.

I’m at a loss to what you’re spending your money on. You said 30k on the house over 4 years is ‘a lot ’ of your money, and stopped you saving as much as normal, but you earned 520k in that time? That’s a small fraction of your money. Equivalant to the ‘small’ amount you said you spend on holidays. I think you need to have a real look at your outgoings if this is important to you. You must have around 8-9k net income a month? With 2k school fees and 1.5k mortgage, you’d have more money leftover than most?..by a lot.

What is so bad about the state secondaries near you? Have you had a proper look/researched or hearsay? I would do that first.

If they are that bad I’d move house. Private school isn’t the be all and end all. Our kids are early 20s now and their privately educated friends haven’t ended up in particularly better unis and jobs than the state kids, despite all that money being spent on their education. I’d rather help mine onto the housing ladder.

Agree with others, what are you spending your money on? If you have £8k net a month as a pp has suggested, and a mortgage if £1500 then you could surely find £2-3k fees? That would still leave £3500 pm for other expenses - a lot more than a lot of ppl.

But ppl afford private through grandparents, earning more, spending v little, inheritance. Most people don’t afford it tho.

Also most ppl don’t live in a grammar area and send their dc to perfectly good comprehensives.

I suggest you move to such an area to avoid the woeful sec mods. I grew up in a grammar area and would never live in one with dc. Btw your local grammar schools, unless they are fee paying, are state schools too.

We got together older but similar approach and also paid off the mortgage , spend loads on holidays but other than that frugal. We also haven’t spent more in line with increasing salaries. Daughter got into grammar but if she hadn’t we’d have gone private. No help from parents with house deposit we just saved, accepting difference in prices. North west also so cheaper private .

Only one child
OH is a higher earner
I also work
We live pretty frugally, drive older cars, holiday in the UK.

I think it would be worth trying for the grammars - as your dc is above expected at the moment, then lots of practice (and mentoring support to overcome anxiety for the exams, coupled with taking the pressure off by saying it is just an option on the table, not the be-all and end-all). Keeping your child happy and focussed is probably the key in this case. Lots of practice of question types, and lots of practice for the timing, and to give them stamina to do an hour, break, then an hour (or whatever the exam set-up is).

Finding a good alternative school (either state or private) that they would be happy to go to also helps take pressure off / reduce anxiety on the day. And to be honest, tuition outside of school can also help them feel confident for year 6 and secondary school, so it is not wasted.
ps - all of the above is assuming that the two grammars in your area are not super-selective??

We earn similar, I met DH at 21 and we’ve religiously saved about £800 - £2k a month (increased as our incomes did).

Compound interest has been our friend and now in our 30s we have £100k invested and we’re 11 years off secondary.

We live in a grammar school area but we could afford private if grammar doesn’t work out.

We also live in the NW so private school is about £15k a year.