Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

"2 sets of school fees at £15k each" - this will very much depend where in the country you are. For a London indie from Y7 you'll not get much change out of £30k for the entire year if you add everything together. You're looking at more like £24-25k for fees, and then on top of that, costs for uniform, transport, lunches, trips, any paid extracurricular such as music lessons. We budget for around £10k per term for one child - so literally double that £15k estimate for the year.

If you are moving, can you not just buy the house right next to the outstanding school, so even if it's oversubscribed, you get places?

If you think Grammar school isn't right, I'd avoid the grammar areas. The state schools seem better for decent students where the Grammar kids haven't been siphoned off.

A bit further north than your current search area, but our old house was catchment for 2 outstanding schools - and we got our first choice, whilst our neighbour's got their first choice, so it was a legitimate choice.
The other 2 schools in town are good (one of which I'm surprised isn't outstanding).
Admittedly, if you go 3 miles East, you will be faced with a choice of requires improvement or unsatisfactory. But there are patches where good state provision exists for all.
If you are serious about major relocation, you can find somewhere that will suit - or find somewhere that cost of living and school fees are achievable on your income.

To answer your actual question: people earn more, spend less or have help from somewhere (family, inheritance, previous savings, scholarship, bursery).

I earn 200k. I paid off my relatively modest house in 5 years when interest rates were low.

I had my DS when I was 43 and mortgage free.

I now save 60k per annum in a pension and put around 20k/30k aside for investments for school fees as I’ll want to retire well before DS leaves school so need to be saving far more than a single years fees every year until then.

We have no GP support or inheritance although I do know of quite a few that do use it to fund the school fees.

If you have a mortgage, 2 kids and no external support I think even on a salary like mine it’d be tight financially assuming you are also saving for a decent pension at the same time.

200k - 60k pension (pre-tax) leaves 140k which equates to 84k take home.

2 sets of school fees of 15k each leaves you with 54k.

A mortgage of maybe 2k per month then leaves 30k out of which is you need to pay for all bills, food, clothes, holidays etc.

It is affordable but you can see the type of salary you need to be able to do it reasonably comfortably assuming no external financial help. Dip below about 180k on a single salary and it’d be tough to do unless you sacrifice some pension savings.

You also need to factor in that the costs effectively start from birth as you’d be paying similar amounts to school fees as soon as they start nursery.

I feel your pain, many folks find themselves in this situation. We do not have grammars in our area and our dc are in private. Ds1 went to state but they couldn’t support around his ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia due to the pressures we all know about in the system so we moved to a more supportive well resourced private school.
I would

• try for grammar school
• also apply local private(s) if they seem good solid options - do your research

we manage to pay fees by prioritising them, we haven’t upsized our house, drive ancient vehicles, have smaller number of cheaper holidays, second hand uniform. Majority we know are getting help from grandparents/inheritances.

good luck!

We’re close to several military bases so our private school is full of US military kids (they subsidise the fees).

A lot of people talk about giving a house deposit instead of private education. Aside from both potentially giving kids a 'leg up' in life, I don't see them as equivalent. My DS is struggling in state school with disruptive kids and dyslexia. I could not move him and instead give him a flat deposit when he's in his 20s but it's not really solving the struggles he's having at the age of 9.

@Tsc2011 my dh earns about £180k including bonus (though is a 45% tax payer, so it's not as much as it sounds), and I earn 60k. We sent our boys to the local state comp until yr 11 then to grammar for sixth form. We live relatively frugally compared to many (old cars, modest holidays). With the money saved we will pay for their university education, give them each a substantial deposit towards a house, and we are squirreling significant amounts into our pensions so that we can retire comfortably at 60.

Each to their own, but my point is.that as part of this decision you may think beyond paying for private secondary school and plan ahead for subsequent stages of your life and for your children's futures.

Our combined salary is similar to yours. Two kids, considering private (no grammars here as a “back up”). We could just about afford due to
a. Kind contributions from grandparents (which in all honesty you could argue would be better saved for uni or their first home)
b. We’ve saved loads over the years, live pretty frugally and well within our means, so are close to paying off our mortgage after 15 years.

however it would mean that we would need to earn a similar income for the next 10 years, which is quite scary tbh. And it would mean far less budget for holidays, cars and home improvements (luckily nothing major needed).

We very briefly considered private school for my dd. We had a discussion with her about the different options, and she asked how much private school would cost - so we told her: approx £20k per year for 7 years, so at least £140k in total - and she was shocked at this, and said she would be happy to go to a state school (there are a couple near us that she liked) so could we help her buy her first house instead of pay for private school!!

Combined income of £180k (gross) and a frugal lifestyle. If we don’t get the state we want, it’ll be private for secondary. We don’t spend as much as you on holidays. We won’t be saving while paying schools fees, until the mortgage is paid off (which we overpay on the get it gone).

Large gap between kids so if DD2 needs private secondary there won’t be much crossover. With the addition of VAT we will have to dip into savings then though.

As I understand it OP wants recommendations of places to move to with really good state school(s) rather than private.

@Tsc2011 can you work and thus live anywhere? I can recommend West Bridgford secondary in Notts, it is excellent, and WB is a nice place to live too.

If you need home counties-ish I believe Bishop Stortford has good schools tho this is from MN rather then my own knowledge.

Have you looked at Chester? I'm not there myself, but have friends who speak highly of both King's (co-ed) and Queen's (girls). I think there's also a third private school - Abbeygate? So lots of choice there.

Yes. The private ones I know of like Reigate Grammar were originally state funded grammar schools then became private and kept the name.
I was responding to op writing "We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful."

DH has a higher income with stock options, I'm a sahm with rental properties. We pay for 2 dcs in a London prep. Most families there have fairly obviously high incomes (law, finance). I suspect others get some family help (we don't) but nobody ever talks about finances explicitly. Most aren't struggling, all go on holidays and own London homes (but some are in flats not houses).

If we had decided against private, we had considered plans to move close to top state comps. We wouldn't have considered moving close to a grammar school, because there's quite a high risk of not getting in, whereas if you move close enough to a top comp then you will get in. And grammar schools in London tend to be in the outer boroughs and we like to be more central. For distance criteria it would need to be the same or neighbouring roads for me to feel secure. Agree with pp that it doesn't matter if it's hugely oversubscribed, as long as you're the one meeting the oversubscription criteria. There will be siblings and dc in care and with EHCPs etc who get in ahead of the distance criteria, but they won't take up all the spaces and you just need to be at the top of the list of those who get in via distance, which you would by living strategically close enough.

I know a family with an income over 200k gross and they have put 2 children through London day schools from start to finish. They haven't found it that easy tbh, but they could do it while still having holidays etc.

Private education is an ENORMOUS amount of money. And I agree with the pp that says it's not unusual to find state secondary schools looking a bit terrifying before you get there, but they're OK once you're there.

If you're planning to move now, then I would just work on finding the state school you like most and pay the premium to live within a few yards of it. You won't be alone.

Grammar schools are state schools, although confusingly some private schools have grammar in their name (eg Manchester Grammar School is private, Stretford Grammar School is state)

As others have said, people afford it through higher basic incomes, lower outgoings, making sacrifices, utilising family support (I know of families where grandparents are footing anything from 20% to 100% of the school fees), private school employee discounts and so on.

Bear in mind that for many high earners, their basic salary is only part of an overall package and they will have other significant financial benefits (bonuses, commission payments, stock options) that can easily fund school fees if managed wisely.

Are the grammar schools not state schools? (Funded by the state so you don't pay fees)

Personally, my dd is 4 and we are saving now in the instance that the state schools don't improve.

In your shoes though with x2 I'd probably move to a better area and focus on savings for University.

BTW @Tsc2011 even if a very good school is oversubscribed, you can move to right near it and then you will get in (unless admission is via lottery). So just one good school will be all you need. Oversubscribed just means lots of people put it down - the school will still have space for the nearest 220 11yos (or whatever its PAN is obvs).

Ah OK I was going off what someone else said. I assume 130k gross tbh. 5.8k is still low tho. Google tells me that two people on 65k would take home about 7.6k between them, and one person on 130k would take home £6.5k. So you can see why we are puzzled.

I earn about a quarter of your gross household income and my take home is about £2.3k - and yes, I am aware of the existence of a higher rate of tax. I am still staggered that four x my gross income = 2.5 x my net income.

They've got more money than you.

Is this something you never thought about? Do you think everyone has the same amount of money as you?

Sorry you just don't have enough cash to fund the private school lifestyle. Last thing you want is to get your children into schools they totally love it and then have to pull them out (lots of families do and then it disappoints the children 😭)

It's too tight .... defo move.

I wouldn't do it based on your numbers.

Plus it's not just the fees - it's the residentials that they will want to do (one going tomorrow for 3 days - 2 going skiing at Easter, one going to France - it's not just the fees - loads of extras) your income too tight and then you could get resentment between the children if you don't do private for both.

Benefit of state / grammar - walking distance from home plus local friends. The amount of hrs I spend driving is bonkers.

Move into a grammar / good comp area 👍 not put yourself under the pressure of the independent sector - bills and school fees are are just getting higher 👍

Same way you’d pay for nursery. For us the fees weren’t that dissimilar initially. However the fees and added cost increase year on year.

our joint income was also much higher, when our two DC started in reception our income was about £180k (school fees in reception were about £13k each)