1 in 5 children missing school

Very easy to say this kind of thing if you've never had children with problems attending school.

If you had a child who was terrified of going to school because of bullying, or was burned out and experiencing a mental health crisis, you wouldn't just change the locks and skip off to work without a backward glance.

If you have a child who is refusing to go to school, then there quickly gets to a point where they are too big for you to overpower and force in to the school building (plus teachers can't restrain them once they're in either).

That's how I thought 12 months ago.

When DD first lay in bed saying she couldn't go to school (due to a traumatic incident the day before) I told her that wasn't an option and she needed to be ready in 30 minutes.

She self harmed. Blood was running down her arms. She later tried to overdose.

Even good parents who haven't had any difficulties before, can have children who can't cope in school.

My DD has ASD and ADHD. For the last 12 months she has had very low attendance. She's been very unwell due to autistic burnout.

Support from CAMHS is practically non existent.

There is a worldwide shortage of ADHD medication that has been going on for approximately 6 months now. It's a health crisis that seems to be going totally unnoticed.

She should be in a specialist setting. There aren't any places.

She now has an EHCP. It took a year to obtain when the maximum legal time is 20 weeks. The help it offers might have worked a year ago. It's too little too late now and so far I don't see much evidence of the school properly following the EHCP anyway.

My child isn't academic. GCSEs are too difficult for her. The old system of O'levels and CSEs catered for non academic children. When she had 100% attendance she still couldn't do the work herself. She has short term memory issues. Years of failing tests and not understanding the work have contributed to her mental health issues. The education system is failing non academic children.

Schools are too big and too regimented. My Secondary School was a 4 form intake. DD's is 8 forms on a school site that can't really fit all the children in. It's too crowded, too noisy, there's no room in the playground, the queues for food at lunchtime or to even use the toilet are too long. DD gave up eating, drinking or using the toilet at school.

After struggling last year she started this current school year trying to be really determined. Within 20 minutes she was given a detention for something very minor. A missing piece of stationary. The teacher chose to humiliate her in front of the class. The SENCO removed the detention, which should never have been given, but the damage to her confidence was done and it actually triggered a mental health crisis. She hasn't been able to go back to that class since.

Our neuro diverse children are being let down terribly.

It's not (and never has been) an option for my kids to miss school....unless they're on their death beds.

Harder if you're both working FT outside the home cos you don't have the oversight of ensuring they've gone to school, but even then, if they were bunking off I'd be tempted to change locks and not give them the key so they couldn't come home again.

It's not completely clear what they're counting. If they're counting every child who ever gets one of those "below 90% attendance" letters, then I am unsurprised. DH did the maths when we got one, and basically, if you assumed a child's probability of attending school is average (and this was before the pandemic, when that was a bit higher), then there was something like a 25% chance that they would have at least one term when it fell below 90%. It only takes about six days - so chickenpox or a couple of nasty bugs is enough.

Probably a few things but Covid shut down will have had an impact

Likely in other countries that did the same too

At this point, my child would learn more at home than she does on many days at school. So many lessons are done by supply teachers who haven’t been properly briefed on the class or what they should be teaching them. Sometimes no teacher has turned up at all for the lesson and the kids are left standing in the corridor. Even some of the teachers that are permanent staff and in school, are understandably disillusioned and stressed with the job and not doing the job as well as they used to.

It’s no surprise that when parents hear this, they’re putting less value on their children being in school. Along with kids coping with ND, mental health issues, physical health issues and then the parents who never sent their kids to school regularly, I’m not surprised by the 1 in 5 figure.

If I had young children, I’d be very concerned for them and seriously considering home schooling. As it is, my youngest is in year 10 so almost done. The 6th form college she’ll attend is excellent thankfully but I feel for younger kids and their parents. And it’s not like everyone has spare time to top up learning at home....parents are often both working long hours and hardly seeing their children just to have the basics in life!

Huge changes are needed in society, employment, benefits, healthcare as well as education itself to sort it. Even if a Labour government gets in and starts to repair the damage, it’ll take years and most kids in school right now will be directly impacted by the issues for years.

My youngest is autistic and I push less now than I did for her to attend school. The problems in schools mean that it’s become an even tougher environment for her with the lack of support, less control in lessons, lack of regular teachers, having to changing rooms often and general chaos. It’s a fucking mess basically and it isn’t parents fault!

Just to add his mental health needs have been passed from pillar to post since 2021 and latest been waiting since Nov 2022

My 12 year old asd son is off today because he feels he has no friends and can’t cope, he hangs around with others that have asd and takes anything they literally which causes issues

I would love DD2 to "just go to school". It's actually quite offensive to so many struggling kids and parents that the reason is given that parents just prefer to keep their kids home after Covid. It is SO much easier for parents if they are in school! I would really like to not pay out thousands of pounds for DD2 to see a private paediatrician, have counselling, and pay about £120 a month for ADHD medication , personally.

I have really lost faith in the secondary school system, after having DD1 who went to a really good school and thrived in it and being a complete advocate for state education. They started their education in 2010 and 2013 respectively - I have seen it change beyond measure for the worst since then particularly in secondary schools. It just fell off a cliff in 2020 and has not recovered.

2020 is when DD2 started secondary school. Her cohort (now Y10) who missed out on all the normal transitional arrangements, all the fun and school journey at the end of Y6 and the usual bonding trips in Y7 are particularly affected by poor attendance.

The only reason we don't home educate is that DD2 has a nice group of friends at school and she really wants to (try to) go to school.

Children don't want to go into school because it's often not a pleasant environment.
Teachers are totally stressed.
Behaviour is off the wall.
There aren't enough TAs, children who need EHCPs are refused and those with EHCPs aren't getting the resources to meet them.
The curriculum is crammed, early years and infants are becoming more formal, time for creativity, play and outdoor time is limited.
Lots of schools are responding to behaviour issues by becoming increasingly authoritarian, liberal use of detentions, isolations, zero tolerance.
If children do go in to school they are often taught by supply teachers (if lucky) or TAs. Or video lessons!
My own children have found themselves being supervised in the school hall with 60 other children as there weren't even sufficient supply teachers or cover supervisors available.
Covid definitely broke the spell and parents and children realised there was an alternative.

The way the issue is being framed is all about anxious/lazy parents and anxious/lazy children. Completely ignores the reasons that lie with schools and the government.

Great post, couldn't have put it better myself.

it's the definition of "persistent absence" that is completely wrong. 10% is 1 day every two weeks, that is absolutely notthing! All you need is flu or covid to miss 10 days and then you'll be "persistently absent". DD had 85% attendance last year and it was a mix of covid / strep A / flu along with some doctor's appointments for allergy testing / passport applications etc.. The targets and definitions are insane.

Absolutely the school system is falling apart.
Read any teacher thread and they will tell you the system is not working and teachers are leaving
Stressed overworked teachers mean they don't have time to go the extra mile on the little bits that make the environment fun and feel more family like for a child.

Loss of teachers means an increase in centralised cookie cutter identikit lessons that just need "delivery". Again losing the skill teachers have of growing their own way of doing things and love for their classes. It becomes about behaviour control and statistics.

Kids know this. Years spent in this environment isn't actually healthy. Its really hard on the kids.

Any anxiety, mental health issues or neirodiversity that previously might have been accommodated or curriculum adapted for is now on hyper alert and 100 times worse.

My council is trying to reduce EHCPs as they can't fund them even though parents really need support getting ehcps.

It's impossible sometimes to include in the environment we're asking kids to be in without it being difficult for that child and by extension those around them.

Our high stages exams at 16 and 18. An Australian friend was shocked we basically have 4 years where they have to retain and learn everything. Very academically driven and with the change to numbers more pressure to get higher and higher grades at one end and 50% not getting maths and English the other. What system fails half its people?!

Its an absolutely creaking system, as teachers have said for ages, and the kids are losing out. I now know so many struggling in school at the moment.

Yes camhs. I know a suicidal child for whom nothing is yet in place other than on a waiting list and this isn't uncommon.. never mind lower level support.

And the fact kids need mental health support. Growth of kids in childcare til late/both working parents/cost of living crisis/social. Issues/housing too.

So very many factors. But no, not because "mum wouldn't send him in with a tumny ache" the gov campaign made me SO cross.

Agreed also re NHS wait lists - one child had recurrent tonsillitis and was missing 50% of school (and if that still going in sick, just not when high temp, so really not in a state to learn much). Waitlist was 3 years to get them removed in our area. After a while we went private due to the disruption to education, and hasn’t been sick of off school since. If we hadn’t been able to do that, then there would have been years disruption to school attendance.

looking at other friends - inadequate provision for ND children, sometimes then leading to further issues with a breakdown in mental health as the system doesn’t work for them.

overstretched teachers and a system that is too ridged for small children, leading to school refusal issues.

parents who just don’t care.

Yeah - where did i disagree with any of that?

what has funding got to do with teachers not using common sense? All i was pointing out was an example of a child being sent home unnecessarily by teachers. His parents wanted him in school.

Our schooling system has failed and nobody has the balls the change it.

My DC is at a specialist school and the way it's set up, and they way the learn should be how ALL students learn. Learning in ways that support the individual.

Sadly there isn't the money (but there is for billions on bullshit contracts, yeah not same pot etc etc, but could be redirected) for mainstream children to help in the community, to learn how to cook, how to shop, to have a curriculum they are interested in that keeps their attention and supports learning in typical curriculum areas.

It's a class thing too, poorer children have worse outcomes for a myriad of reasons, and they are the ones more likely to have absences.

It needs a huge overhaul. Or just smashing and starting again.

My child has had diarrhoea, or vomiting, or high temp & fatigue & no appetite, for most of the winter. That’s more than half of the time. Our school attendance across the year is about 85%. Doctors have done blood tests several times, can’t find anything in particular wrong and say it’s perfectly normal and some children just have poor immune systems.

But according to the Government my child has been “persistently absent” every year for many years.

I’d like to see less harassment of sick kids and more sympathy and support from schools to be honest.

Or 😱😱 a functioning health service with doctors who can actually diagnose and heal.

Unfortunately in my experience (and this includes way before covid) not all parents see that school is important - every day here on Mumsnet you get posts about keeping kids off for minor ailments, holidays, their birthday even. The post where the child had missed 30% of all her school days ... individually there can be a good reason but they add up and that results in these figures

In Ireland and we’ve received letters of warning for two of my kids. One has constant ear infections, to the level he’s stayed in hospital, and he had Covid twice. The school has doctor’s certs for all of it (bar the six days of Covid. The headmaster came up to me at pt meeting and said he was going up to apologise to people, that he has to report even though they have the proof that my son has issues (and is sent home sometimes because his ear is affecting him so much). Other has asthma and stomach issues- 90%of his days off he was actually sent home from school with them asking could we please keep him home if he seems unwell.
Maybe some parents do keep them home unnecessarily but I’d guess not- the bigger picture isn’t always the correct one

We used to live in Germany, school attendance was very high in part because they do the opposite of the UK and encourage students to stay home if they have any signs of illness. This keeps bugs from ripping through whole classes.

I'm not comfortable with this trend of blaming parents for school absence. That is part of it but also kids are just getting sick a lot! And those with chronic illness or SEN can't access help.

It's a symptom of a broader breakdown in public services and public health.

My dc have had several chest infections, tonsillitis, coughs and colds since they had Covid. One of my dc was told they they should go to school with a cold, I sent them in, they were sneezing and coughing and I was sent a message saying, don’t send them tomorrow. I had that in two different schools! So in my dc’s case they have genuinely been unwell a lot more than usual.

MariaVT65

Blaming the parents and blaming the schools is a very easy way for the government to deflect criticism of what they are actually doing which is underfunding the system.
CAMHs has an 18 month waiting list
Support in school is not funded correctly
There is little or no SEND provision because schools can't afford the support staff.
There are far too few dedicated SEND schools.
and the list goes on.

So far this week DD has had cover teachers for 50% of the classes, no work left and teacher from another subject. So they were doing homework or reading back what they did last week. Pretty hard to convince anyone it’s essential they need high attendance for that. I know they are losing teachers and can’t recruit and I can’t imagine they’ll cut the timetable down till they can but it’s basically a youth club now.

Lots of different reasons

NHS mental health support is non existent, NHS physical health support is patchy, support for families is non existent below impossibly high thresholds.

Break down of the social contract between parents and schools - parents are less supportive or see less need to attend. This impacts behaviour and attitude to learning as well as attendance.

Pressures on schools are huge, more demands with less resources so they become increasing stressful places to be. This all acts in a loop with the factors above.

Anecdotally at least there has been a big increase in complaints about schools. It is all just a bit broken