DS is 13 (y8) and goes to a boy's Catholic school (state). The majority of boys are Catholic or otherwise Christian, and most are from culturally very conservative backgrounds. We are a C of E family ourselves.
DS has a group of friends, is generally quite outgoing and laid back and is doing very well academically, loves sport too. The school has really helped him improve his motivation and engagement.
But - and it is a BIG but - I am so sick and disappointed with the general culture of casual homophobia and misogyny, expressed constantly between the boys. My DS has told me about this and when he first started some of the language came home, so we have had discussions about how unacceptable and hurtful that language is.
It is now definitely really affecting my DS who, I suspect, may be questioning where he fits in, and his own sexuality. Some of that is obviously conjecture on my part, but he knows my door is open if he wants to talk about it.
DS is so, so angry in a way he struggles to talk about and has now started getting into fights, eg when hanging out playing football after school. He is thin on the details but there has been at least once occasion when he has told me of suggestions that he is gay, plays like a "batty boy" etc. I am not condoning the fighting on his part and have spoken with him about it. There is no excuse for fighting, regardless of provocation, but I am really worried about his wellbeing.
My issue is with the school and what I do now. The language and culture is worse than when I was at secondary school in the late 1990s, when gay/queer/lezza were the worst insults going and no one came out at school, even in 6th form. I cannot believe it is still like this in London in 2023.
Surely the school have safeguarding obligations, a duty to promote a culture of inclusivity and " British values" (or whatever it is called) in PSHE, regardless of it being a Catholic school?
Has anyone dealt with anything similar or have any advice?
Thanks.