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Original poster

Y7 form change ?

83 replies

Dazedandcovidconfused · 12/01/2024 04:58

My DD has struggled to make friends since starting secondary. (Had lots of lovely friends at primary) She’s doing really well academically but becoming unhappy because she feels she has no friends in her class, she’s with them the majority of the time (only streamed for one subject) so not much opportunity to make friends in other classes, and has had comments like no one likes you etc that are demoralising. I discussed with form tutor this week who was mainly focussed on finding out who has been saying unkind things to her. I get it but she doesn’t want make things worse by naming people, and also I’m not sure how focussing on them helps her directly. I think she’d benefit from a fresh start, in a class where she already knows a few girls, but would appreciate anyone’s experience or viewpoints, thanks!

OP posts:
plumberdrain · 12/01/2024 07:19

have you tried speaking with the school and actually addressing the issues rather than running from them in the first instance?

Ionacat · 12/01/2024 07:19

I’m assuming year 7? This is the start of the friendship shake up as bonds from primary school loosen. I would hope the form tutor might have been more proactive and suggested ways forward, but actually it’s good they want to tackle those that have been unkind.

My DD met one of her new friends by joining a library club for example. Has she joined any clubs? That’s often a good way to start meeting new people. She won’t be the only person in the year group struggling either.

I would ask the head of year for some suggestions as I suspect they will be reluctant to move her as it tends to open the floodgates, although there is no harm in asking.

Original poster
Dazedandcovidconfused · 12/01/2024 07:16

Thanks for feedback, will try to answer all the points

  • they are only set in one class, they are with their form for every other subject
  • won’t get mixed in year 8 they stay in these forms for their entire time at school.
  • it’s a v big school and there were a handful of girls from her primary who went, none in her class
  • shes in a few clubs
  • she seems to have dealt with unkind incidents ok, I think it’s more demoralising because she hasn’t any friends to share the experience with, laugh it off or to empathise with her. She’s feeling lonely.
OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 12/01/2024 07:01

Can be quite fluid for girls at that age. Both of mine (youngest now year 10) worked through several friendship groups before it solidified more in late 8/ 9.

Do they set? That mixes them up and gives better friendship o opportunities. Both mine only have one or two friends in their form but large groups in rest of year. Work with her on her confidence to approach like minded girls.

SnowsFalling · 12/01/2024 06:54

I've asked for a form change once - and got it implemented within a day. BUT it was because someone hadn't looked at the background between 2 kids that had been put together, and there was a long history of racist bullying.

Will school mix the kids up in Y8? I think that would influence what I did.
DS2 has made friends through walking to school, and sports clubs. Are there any lunchtime or after school activities that would get her making friends outside her class?

IncognitoUsername · 12/01/2024 06:35

Schools are often adverse to moving pupils to a different form due to the knock on effect it has with other pupils - they move one and then another two or three want to move and school can’t say no as they moved the first one. Hence why the teacher wants to deal with the issue by finding out who is causing the problems. Girls of this age can be horrid - I taught this age group for 20 years. At the end of the day you can go to the Head of Year and insist that she is moved but it may not solve the problem so it might be better to allow school to try to deal with these girls and maybe work with your daughter on her self esteem and how to deal with negative people.

plumberdrain · 12/01/2024 06:18

none of her primary friends went to this school?

plumberdrain · 12/01/2024 06:17

different class in came school?

is there space?

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