Y7 form change ?

If she’s low key aways unhappy I would take the risk as it’s unlikely to be worse in a new form and a psychological jolt and scene change might help her mindset in any event.

When Dd lost her group I pushed her to approach another girl I thought looked nice she refused then plucked up courage and did. Launched her into a whole new group.

i’m not head of year at your child’s school. They will have extensive experience of this very situation. So i’d be on the phone today to arrange a meeting

One of my DDs friends was unhappy in her form group. In year 8 she moved to DDs form and was so much happier.

Schools either move students a lot, like my current school or never move them. I am big fan of moving them myself it doesn't always work mind you.
If I was her child's head of year and you requested a move say from 7A to 7S I would go through all the bad things that might happen, more name calling, new teachers she didn't like, the dreaded swop from French to Spanish, which always enrages someone. And then I would do it but say its a one way street moving back isn't on the table. It's amazing how often this happens. The grass not being greener.
In this case if you were my friend rather than a head of year, I would say leave it a little longer, year 7 is brutal for social groupings, very few children immediately find good pals. But most do eventually. I didn't until 6th Form.

I wouldn't be pushing for a class change at this point tbh. So many girls will be feeling the same - the long standing primary school friendships collapsing, unkind comments as people jostle for position and the friendship groups chopping and changing.

DD is y8 and she struggled to make any friends in her class during y7. Said that everybody hated her. She did make a couple of friends from other classes but those friendships fell apart too.

Now she's far more settled. Has joined a friendship group in her class since the start of y8, lovely girls who were obviously always there. It just takes time to find your people.

If your DD has friends in other classes I would encourage her to seek them out at lunchtimes, join more clubs, and keep an open mind towards her own class as it won't be all of them being unkind.

op

it is unlikely that you rocking up and saying “i want her moved” will fly in the first instance.

It will be one of the last options after other measures are implemented

but you have to speak to the right people and that’s not the form teacher clearly

Does she see friends old or new in breaks and lunchtimes?

you won’t be able to move your daughter without speaking to the head of year and head anyway!!

• **it’s a v big school and there were a handful of girls from her primary who went, none in her class

does she ever see these girls at break time? lunch time?

absolutely speak with head of year, and head of pastoral care

no primary school friends went to this school?

My best friend in senior school was in another class and I never had a single lesson together. We met originally en route to the sports frields when we were both running late, but we had a lot of similar interests and did the sams lunchtime and afterschool clubs. No one liked me in my class, which was formed of 3 competing cliques of mean girls. I was better off without beung sucked into that.

Look at it from the Form Teacher’s pov -
She has to go to Head of Year/SLT and say that your daughter wants to move classes because of unkind comments. The first thing they will ask is what the FT has done to resolve the situation. Answer - nothing, I don’t know who else is involved so I haven’t investigated, seen if there are two sides to this or attempted any restoration work.

Dd2 had an awful year 7 and was ousted from her group and they tried to ensure no one else would be friends with her by spreading mad rumours. She had to start again from scratch. Within a year she was the most popular girl in her year. So things can really change massively 11-14.

Surely she can still see her old friends at break and lunch times (and by extension meet any friends they have made)?

I think this is a tough point of Year 7, but I'm not sure moving classes is the answer. There will be children making nasty remarks in any class (and it's great that the form tutor wants to tackle this, although perhaps should be done more generally rather than targetting individuals) and it's likely that her primary friends will have moved on and their friendship won't just be picked up in the same way.

I'd say it took my DS a good couple of terms to make friends in Year 7. You'll find this term that lots of friendships shuffle as some children find they don't actually like the children they made friends with at the start of the year. It's also very likely there are other children in your DD's position - I'd suggest you ask your DD to seek them out as they may be very happy to strike up a friendship.

Does she have friends in another form group? She might struggle if she moves too

Anecdotally know girls are moved (strict all girl state) but only if there are significant issues or the parents are bolshy. I think I would go in and politely but firmly make a case for moving form. It’s been a term now and the isolation is affecting mental health. She needs to find her tribe but she also needs to be helped to be proactive in this too.

head teacher
head of pastoral care

i know you say you’ve spoken with the school once but surely a bit more needs to be progressed before a big move