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Original poster

Social Isolation

58 replies

Anjay1 · 29/10/2023 13:52

My daughter has been friends with 3 other children before they started year 7 in September.

When It was my daughters birthday in August, I invited all three children to Ninja Warriors and the parents to join them for dinner at TGI'S, which I paid for.

One of the kids parents put on the WhatsApp group that the kids are invited to her child birthday on the 25th October.
Two weeks before, she then put on the WhatsApp group that her daughter has decided to go ice skating with her cousins instead.
I sent the mum a private message saying that I have presents that are quite big and heavy for my daughter to carry and therefore
could we sort something out nearer the time to get the presents from me. Everything was all good.
On Monday just gone, I travelled 40 minutes to give the mum the presents. Two days later, I messaged the kum to wish her daughter a happy birthday and she responded and said thank you for the presents.
The day after, the 26th October, one of the girls put on her WhatsApp status of the 3 girls (including the birthday girl) a video of them celebrating the girls birthday. My daughter saw it on the girls status and was really annoyed and sad. I told her not to worry and things happen. 20 minutes later, the video was removed.
Yesterday the mum, who's child's birthday it was, blocked me on WhatsApp and Facebook with nothing mentioned.

Do you think I am right in being annoyed by the whole thing?
I even spent approximately £70 and this is what she does.
I've just checked my daughters phone and her daughter hasn't blocked mine which I sm relieved about but I really don't get it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Anjay1 · 29/10/2023 16:37

So they only knew each other from July this year.
Why lie that's her daughter is going ice skating with cousins and then this. She was willing to meet me to give her daughters presents etc.
My daughter plays with her daughter all the time at school. I just don't get it at all.

The friendship group at school is still the same , my daughter and then the three other kids

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 29/10/2023 16:34

Anjay1 · 29/10/2023 16:32

I do normally. The mum spent £5 for my daughters birthday but I don't to receive. I just don't get why she's done this

She embarrassed.

Her DD is no longer such close friends and didn't want to invite your DD.
You rocked up with a £70 present.
They let slip on SM her DD had had a celebration without your DD.

Original poster
Anjay1 · 29/10/2023 16:32

They only knew each other from year 7 transition day

OP posts:
Original poster
Anjay1 · 29/10/2023 16:32

I do normally. The mum spent £5 for my daughters birthday but I don't to receive. I just don't get why she's done this

OP posts:
OhCrumbsWhereNow · 29/10/2023 16:03

IME, friendships are incredibly transitory between Y6-9. DD's friends at the beginning of any year were rarely the same by the end of the same year.

It's only now in Y10 that I'm starting to see more enduring friendships.

I would keep things low key on the present front and on the party expectation front. It's a nightmare if child has been friends with another and there have been expensive gifts and parties and then the friendship wanes but there's some sort of reciprocation demanded (whether actually said or not).

TeenDivided · 29/10/2023 15:50

£70 is a lot.

I wonder whether friendships have shifted moving into y7. They often do.

JanglyBeads · 29/10/2023 15:12

The mum sounds really not worth bothering with, why on earth has she blocked you I wonder?

Do you usually spend £70 on a child's present??

Potterinthegarden · 29/10/2023 14:57

I think it is fair enough that you feel annoyed (I would too). People can be inconsiderate with these things and just not think. We have had similar situations in the past. It hurts and it is the parent who has to try to shield their child from the hurt as best they can. What can you do? Only play it down to your child (as you sound to be doing), encourage her to not rely on these friends solely, lick your joint wounds and maybe not spend so much on gifts in future.

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