Twins want to go to different secondary schools

I have twins in different secondary schools (currently in year 8 ) and I haven’t found the logistics any more challenging than having them in different classes in primary tbh.
Holiday dates sometimes vary by a day or two and they often have different INSET days but as they don’t need childcare now it’s largely irrelevant.
Two sets of uniform is just two sets of uniform, it’s neither here to there that they’re not the same uniform. Yes it’s different apps/systems but I’ve not found that to be an issue.
Mine do their sports outside of school rather than school clubs (one does a niche sport which isn’t offered at school anyway) so I’d have the clashes of sporting fixtures regardless of school.
If they’ve got solid reasons for their preferences AND you feel they’re picking the school that would be right for them, then I’d encourage them to go for it (as long as the transport logistics are doable). It’s hard being a twin and being forever known as ‘the twins’ and compared to your sibling. Both mine have said how positive it feels to be wholly themselves at school and not one of the twins (they still get on v well outside school - if not better than when they were at the same school in fact)

I had 3 different schools for many years. 2 years 1 was a primary school 4 3 secondary schools

It was honestly never a issue to sort all of this. 2 of them had active PTA 1 not an active PTA.

Kept the calender up to date and in many ways harvest festivals etc were easier to manage than when I had to get 4 into primary with their 4 lots of harvest contributions.

We only twice had clashes and one was over a after school detention dd1 got when I was only managing 2 schools. Pta at primary and dd 1 unable to get home as no bus then. Worked with the school to resolve it. Once 2 awards ceremonies clashed. Dh went to 1 I went to the other.

Parents evenings are separate anyway if the kids are not the same age so doesn't matter if yoh go to school A or B. With twins I'd have thought it a lot easier to get a parents evening if you don't need 2 lots of slots.

Rules and regulations are not all that different in secondaries you learn as you go along if something is wastly different..most of that IS in your teenager to deal with.

Inset days can be different yes but I took them as days where if I could be off we could do something with the child who had an inset day. Again this actually didn't happen much as most are just tagged to holidays. I did recently get a photo memory on facebook where I had taken my 3 daughters out for breakfast. I was asked where ds was and I replied at school the others all have inset day. One replied he must be marked and I responded. Not really.he knows we will go out for b fast when he has an inset day.

Uniform shopping was never a issue even when I had 2 different shops to use.

I did have input in school listing but in this case where op doesn't feel much difference in the schools I would - and did - let my child's wishes come 1st.

Having a sibling in school x (even of only just), which that twin will be offered because they are high enough up the ranking and it is their first effective preference may shift an applicant up the ranking for that school, but if the second twin had ranked school y higher, and can be offered that, school y shoukd be their offer, and school x their twin's.

The School Standards and Framework Act says that parental preference should be met, except where it would prejudice the efficient use of resources. So you don't randomly give school A a few extra pupils, past the school's PAN, when there are places to spare at school B/C/D etc. Allocating place to a second twin, when the first twin would be offered the last available space, is an allowable exception to the 'not prejudicing the efficient use of resources' rule. But if the parents' ranking of preferences for each twin on their individual CAF demonstrates that this is not a priority, it would be very bizarre for the LA to ignore the ranking on one child's CAFand allocate a place at what for them is a lower preference school, if the offer of a place at a hogher preference school can be made.

@MarchingFrogs yes. Doesn't change how allocations work once a sibling is placed somewhere.

You have to submit one CAF per child, with an individual ranked set of preferences on each.

It sounds like they appreciate being separate, which is understandable.
Do they know how much bigger secondary school is and they become smaller fish in a larger pond? They might have the space they need at the same school.

I am really surprised they were in the same class at primary school if they had more than a 1 form entry. I am a twin and we were separated as soon as we started school. I thought this was standard practice.

You definitely need to find out why they have chosen different schools - if this is just because they want to be in separate classes this can be achieved within 1 school

I'm with the others who say it's really no big deal to have DCs at different secondary schools. It's different from primary - there is a lot less parental involvement and they tend to manage things themselves - they are the ones to deal with theme days etc, not the parents. Parents evenings aren't necessarily on the same day even if they are at the same school - ours weren't. The only real issue is distance/ease of transport for after school clubs if there isn't any appropriate public transport.

I have 3DC and they all chose different secondary schools. All 3 schools were decent, so we encouraged them to pick the schools that suited them individually. It honestly never occurred to us to do anything different. As it happened, 2 ended up at the same school anyway. For us, transport was pretty inconvenient for each of them (it ended up being worse for DC3 by quite a way as the council cancelled the bus after 1 year). But it's pretty normal where we live to have kids in different schools. Youngest is now Y12 and other than potential transport issues, I can honestly say it never occurred to me that different schools might be considered a problem. Mine would have been quite resentful if they were forced to go to a school they didn't want, just because a sibling had chosen it. As a parent, I really wouldn't have wanted to have that conversation!

I have twins in different secondary schools. They each preferred different schools and are suited to different schools, so that's what we've ended up with!

I have younger kids in other schools too, but as long I can physically make the school runs work, I want them all in the best school for the individual.

I have three children at three different schools. I'm not keen on the first one, but the other two are at schools which suit them. Sometimes the holidays don't align.

However, the main criteria was that they could get there independently. We wouldn't have considered them if they couldn't,

I'm not sure we can agree to disagree as I still don't understand your point. None of the things you mention require any degree of headspace

For you @Bookish88 . Not for everyone. I'm not some wacky outlier solely of this opinion - there are other posts on the thread saying largely the same. It's a difference of opinion. Not the majority view but a valid one nonetheless.

If you can't agree to disagree then rest securely in the knowledge that you're right and anyone that thinks differently is wrong 🙃

I'd check how your LA allocates spaces tbh. It's not usual to have twins separated. You may need to actually request their application be processed completely separately to avoid one twin automatically getting a sibling place with the others.

Yes I agree there are no huge issues with having two at different schools. The vast majority of people who have more than one child will have kids at different schools at some point due to the age gap and one being at primary and one being at secondary and manage it perfectly well.

Obviously for OP having twins it will be 5 years of them being at different schools but it really isn't the headache some people are making it out to be.

My parents let my elder sibling choose and then I just had to go to the same school later. They loved it and I hated it. Knew I would. Changed after 2 years. We have 3 children at 3 different schools because we let them choose what is best for themselves with some guidance from us but ultimately their choice.

I’ve got kids at different schools and it really isn’t a massive deal. I quite like it if they have slightly different inset days or holiday start dates because there’s the chance of some 1:1 time with them. They get to school by themselves so that’s not an issue. And if you’re somewhere with decent public transport they can also get to see their friend’s on the weekend if they want to. Or get them a bike.

It’s not like primary school where they need more supervision and there tends to be a lot more parent involvement.

I agree with @Bookish88 and others. I really can't see the issue with some of the things some posters are raising as potential difficulties.

I had mine in different secondaries (siblings, not twins), and yes, I have more than 2 dc and I have also always worked, but it was never an issue.
I think knowing that I have been fair to both / all my dc by making the best choices for each of them as individuals far outweighs any perceived inconvenience of them being at separate schools.

Same as if one wanted to do football on a Saturday and one wanted to do drama. I'd work out a way to make it work, not take a decision that implies one's choice is more important or valid than the other's.

I've got 2 DC at different secondary schools (not twins) and so far it's fine. It's a bit of a pain having two different payment/messaging systems but it's not a deal-breaker. One of them is a public transport journey away and one is a walk. Positives are that they can both be their own person without pressure from others preconceived ideas of them.

I have decided not to participate in the PTA of the one further away but really that's just about distance rather than having two children there. Likewise I'll go to events there that DD1 is in our cares about, but won't go out of my way to go there.

So I guess distance plays more of a part than whether or not DD2 goes there. It's quite nice to have at least one child at a more local school where I'd be more inclined to be involved.

DD2 also has boy/girl twin friends who have gone to different schools. Like a PP, the girl was desperate to go to the local girls school and parents didn't want her not to have her choice just because she is a twin.

It's really not difficult to have DC at two different schools. It's a situation that is really common for parents who prefer single sex schooling.

This is interesting @MoreTrafficChaos and you have had a lot of good advice.

Some will weigh more heavily than other tho.

I think your DCS' PoV to want different things is very valid - I can imagine that if you are a twin, you are more than ever keen to strike out on your own. What is it that DT2 specifically prefers about school B? Is it valid (ie not 'I liked the head teacher's pink jumper' but more 'I want to learn Spanish/do coding club')?

I have had DC secondary and DC with varied interests and I think most of the issues flagged about the headspace/admin of two schools would not carry much weight for me.

I agree with @UsingChangeofName that parents evenings on different dates would be a GODSEND; secondary PE are such a PITA even with one child. So that's deffo a positive. Might be worth finding out what day they do them on tho (my DCs' school was always Thursday) as if it could be the same day it would clearly be impossible.

I think for me the issues around collecting money, inset days (secondary kids are fine on their own and mine usually organised something with friends), PTA (don't get involved- most parents don't - or take it in turns if you are keen), Christmas and summer fairs (not often held in secondary tbh), IT systems (?), uniforms (just buy each the right blazer, no hassle), and theme weeks (again not often a thing) are red herrings and not things I would personally mind having to deal with.

One issue might be concerts - if you have very musical DC then you will be setting up for several years of either clashes (divide and conquer) or two concerts in one week (suck it up). It's manageable tho I reckon. Also the same thing for sports fixtures perhaps.

I agree you need to make it clear to DT2 that if they get into school B, they will not be able to do after-school stuff - this might be play rehearsals for example, would this be an issue?

I see the point of ppl who say 'I choose, I'm the adult' - but given that these DC have expressed a preference, it seems a bit unfair to say to one 'well that's tough.' Talk it through some more - and the questions for schools idea is a good one.

I'm not sure we can agree to disagree as I still don't understand your point. None of the things you mention require any degree of headspace.

@MoreTrafficChaos you do need to read what the local authority admissions policy is on multiple births as this question about different schools might be completely pointless.

I do agree with pp that your DC are only 10 and you need to make the final decision.

Assuming A and B are good schools and they can get there independently, then I’d let them put them down as first and second choice as they wish.

If they have to pick a third, and both C and D will be a hassle to get to they’d I’d insist they agree on one or other, or you decide. You don’t want two schools a long way a way.