Feeling Disheartened With Private School Visits: Very Unpersonalised & Felt Like Cattle Markets

What do you mean by you are "huge state school supporters"?
Surely if you are, you would just send you DC to a state school.

Yes agree@justanotherdaduser , 6000 visitors were expected at Hampton this morning.

As a PP said, it's a sellers' market. The most sought after indies in London are heavily oversubscribed and vast majority of parents visiting a popular school will not have an offer from the school in February.

So if I am thinking cynically, I would probably say at this stage of the process, the popular schools do not need to care a lot about providing highly personalised services to a "customer". The schools choose DC, not the other way round.

But from my own experience, that version isn't really true most of the time -- most schools, even the most sought after ones, really do try, but huge oversubscription and parents registering to many more schools now days, make it impossibly hard for schools with limited resources to provided a personalised service to all parents visiting in open days. In many schools there are 10 or more visitors for every place in year 7.

You will get much more attention once you have offer(s) in hand and in offer holders' events. Ditto when your DC is a student.

Regarding school 4 (unmotivated student) - please do not judge the school by that alone. That child may have been having a bad day, may have already showed the school to other parents few times this year already, or just bored. They do it several times a year. Except for year 7s, and sometime the older children with a sense of responsibility towards the school, most are pretty bored by year 8. (I know because DD and her friends in year 8 moan about it during open days!)

I would recommend Hampton Boys if you are in the area. Loovely school and great results

All depends on the quality of the cattle and the cattle herders!

It is about the entire process and not just Open Day. We had great process and a new person in charge of admissions and it went downhill rapidly. Others, good Open day, great Admission communications etc. It is more than 1 Open Day. We know of great school, great process and rumours of low level bullying in different year groups….under the term it is being dealt and help build resilience.
Also, check GCSEs for options. Some schools limit to 9, get higher grades but not broad enough. Good luck!

Which school is this please?

Some of the schools are oversubscribed and it is sellers market, they don't need to put on a hard sale. I do think it is your DCs personal experience not the marketing experience that matters....

DDs private school is/was the total opposite. Very warm and personalised. If you felt like it was a cattle market at open day when they are meant to be "putting on a show" then I would personally avoid.
What we liked in particular was that every parent and child was invited (if you wanted + you had to pre-book) to a private 20 min talk with the Headmaster in his study. He took time to get to know DD, her likes, dislikes etc.
Ask if they do individual tours?

Your DC only need one school and hopefully it's number 1.

I wouldn't bother applying to the other schools.

The key to 11 plus entry is that the school is choosing it's pupils via the entrance exams not the other way. Once you get an offer there is another chance to visit when the sales pitch comes into full force (plus during the on-site exam and interviews you get some insight).
Go for schools you like and a range where you think your dc get an offer.