Feeling Disheartened With Private School Visits: Very Unpersonalised & Felt Like Cattle Markets

Obv don’t know which schools you’re applying to but for the more academic private schools in London there can be 10+ applicants a place, so they’re not really suitable as “bankers”. The London private school market is v different from lots of private schools outside London, where they do indeed want your money and are happy to woo you. In London it’s the other way round.

I’d suggest some more research on the process and entrance tests etc- the boards on MN are usually quite helpful. Do bear in mind that the majority of applicants will be tutored for the entrance tests- not all but enough that it makes it harder for non-tutored applicants.

What is the open day experience of these two school like? Tax payer money well spent?

Everyone there is willing to spend £25k a year. The school will fill their places. Rather than feeling miffed about not being special think about what the facilities and pupils were like. What was the Headmaster/headmistress like. Would your child fit.

Applying to only one would be extremely brave.

A couple of the schools we visited in London limited us to visiting only in the year before admission and only one parent could attend with the child. It was still absolutely rammed even with the imposed restrictions.

The reality is that every child is sitting for numerous schools these days and so demand for open days has increased rapidly. There just wouldn’t have been enough tour guides to go round I imagine to give you a personalised experience.

As for the bell, the students and staff need to get home. It can’t be an open ended thing. Much easier to do that than try and herd everyone out manually.

When you go to these things I think it’s an opportunity to see the facilities and get a general feel for things. It’s far less about the specifics.

To be honest I was more put off by the class sizes at some of the schools, some of them had 25 in a class. One of our main reasons for wanting private was small class sizes so we discounted them purely based on that. All schools with amazing reputations but I felt victims of their popularity.

If you look at less sought after schools further out of London then, as a general rule, you’ll get a much better open day experience.

I bet the preferred two state schools are academic selective.

A lot of parents think academic selective state schools are essential "free" private schools but the fact is for many reasons it isn't.

The parents just want the "academic select" part characteristic of the schools.

This is bad advice given how competitive applications are.

I'd ask around and try to get a feel for the schools from other parents. I never understand why schools use student guides- DS's school used to do this and it was crazy. They told the kids they have to come in and show people round, giving up their Saturdays. The prospective parents would then the kids a load of inappropriate questions about A level grades and Oxbridge success rates, as if they were talking to the head of admissions, which the kids quite rightly had no idea about 😂 They now do self-guided with teachers and kids in the classrooms to demonstrate things and answer questions and I think that's much better.

My kids go to a private school in outer London and my son was doing open day tours yesterday.

For secondaries, the sheer numbers are hard to cater for in an individual way (I couldn't believe how many cars were coming out as I drove in). I suspect quite a lot also comes down to the tour and how chatty your guide is.

My son had a mum and son for his tour but his friend had four families who each wanted to see every subject classroom (for sixth form entry) so the tour took 2 hours and probably felt a bit endless.

Our school is heavily over-subscribed (and academically selective) so it's a case of trying to put on a decent open day for the numbers attending. The marketing material is quite slick but they don't have the time or need to do much more. Prep school open days tend to be more personalised as they don't have hundreds of people visiting.

I would understand "huge state school supporters" to mean "we understand state schools can be brilliant and private isn't necessarily better and would still vote for a political party that prioritises better funding for state education even if it impacts us negatively e.g. on taxes and VAT on school fees, and wouldn't vote for a political party that wants to make it easier for rich people to go private by raiding the state school budget e.g with voucher systems"
Nothing wrong with that.

We aren't in London and the schools landscape is very different around here. The schools with self-guided tours are sending a conscious message "we don't have to do anything to convince you how great we are" - they will fill all their places no matter what. That doesn't mean they are bad schools - the same situation could be either a positive endorsement or a red flag depending on how deserved the reputation is.

In many schools there are 10 or more visitors for every place in year 7

This seems to be the case for most schools in London/Home counties. They can't reject parents from registering from Open Days as many parents don't show up but even my local (not highly selective) private school are over subscribed. Once you are serious about applying, usually equates to paying the fee to register for exam entry, you will get a better experience.

Definitely agree that Open days aren't the best reflection of the school and most good schools prefer in school visits. I actually feel sorry for the tour guides, usually year 8s who have had to get up early to attend the day and that's possibly the worst age due to teen hormones.

I think talking to current parents is the best way to determine the culture of a school and use the Open day to see the facilities.

I’ve never felt like that.

school 1, warm communication, odd tour, odd meeting with head. They then were very keen to offer place.

school 2, failed to communicate, got my name wrong, dc name wrong total chaos. Tried to call school, phone never picked up, emailed for tour, never heard back

school 3, chaotic communication, warm meeting with head, friendly tour, open day was welcoming, tour with pupils warm and engaging,

school 4 didn’t seem interested, sent out information pack. School didn’t follow it up. 2 years later they followed it up!!

we went for school 3.

Have you bothered to visit any of your local state schools to make a comparison?

All private schools in London are pretty much over subscribed, and its a sellers market.

That said you need to avoid the "open day" razamatazz and go to one of the tours that happen during the week when the school is working as it gives you a much better idea of what is going on.

Lastly think carefully about your child, my children are able and capable, one has majority 9's at GCSE and is heading for 3 A stars at a level but still couldn't get into any of the "top" private schools in the area at 11+.

I thought it meant we’re not freaked out by doing state school instead.

I suspect it means "we are huge state school supporters - just as long as our own child doesn't have to attend".

i wouldn’t touch a school that made me feel like that on day one.

If you're such huge supporters of state schools why are you looking at private?!

Not sure what is the benefit of sending a child/ young man to US to do undergaduate degree. I see the point in postgrad degree but not undergraduate. And tbh unless it is some top US uni like Harvard or Stanford, nobody views it as an exceptional achievement. I am speaking from the experience.

Also, not all US universities need SAT/ACT, worth looking into as well. Examples, Berkeley and UCLA.

@HawaiiWake the top US unis will not even look at GCSEs. They want the SATs and the lesser unis consider 5 GCSEs as equivalent to a US high school education. We attended an American uni day very recently.

Though, if applying to US universities, they prefer a wider curriculum and prefer 10 or more GCSEs which seems to be the case for most boys or coed schools we visited.

Not all schools are like that. We definitely felt the same with some we visited -like we were just a number, but others gave a better feel and we went with a ‘mid size’ type school and glad we did.
@HawaiiWake very few schools do 10 nowadays. Unis will only look at top 8 and personally, I’d rather DD only did 8! Her school does 9, as did all the schools we saw three years ago. According to government statistics only 13% of schools do more than 9

Yes, all private are money makers but Hampton Boys school is pretty good value for money

I’m also bemused by the “state school supporters” comment and wondering the point of that?