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Year 11 Child moved from Scotland to England and content to learn overwhelming - son doesn't want to even try

292 replies

Stressbucket1973 · 22/09/2023 09:16

I have a son in Year 11 - we moved from Scotland to England and the difference between National 5's and GCSE seems vast. He has so much content to learn before the exams. He has mocks in November and hasn't got a clue. He is so overwhelmed that he has just given up. He won't talk to us or even try. He is also dyslexic and the amount of work to get through is daunting. The school are trying to help and given us the areas he needs to focus on. but he has set his mind that he will fail so why bother. I can't get him to sit down and concentrate.

I feel like we are constantly harassing him to study or work or do anything... he just won't sit down and focus. He just want to game or go to the skate park and escape. He says he's thick and won't pass so why should he bother. He doesn't like school and is feeling totally overwhelmed.

The school allowed him to drop one subject but the issue is combined science being mandatory. He only had to do Physics in Scotland so he now has to catch up on chemistry and biology topics that others have been studying for over a year.

I'm at my wits end and my husband and I don't know what to do. We are trying to help and support but I feel all we are doing is making our son feel worse. I really don't know how to get him to want to try. There seems to be a lot going on for him and I'm wondering how we help him to try... I'm desperate and stressed out - any advice would be most welcome.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 22/09/2023 09:45

Oh my goodness - what a time to change education systems! He won’t have dove chemistry or biology since S2, so that’s a massive gulf. Can he go and board with friends in Scotland and finish his education? We took in DS’s friend for S4 and S5 in a similar situation.

superninny101 · 22/09/2023 09:42

New school, year 10, private if necessary (but nurturing and very SEN aware). Poor boy. I cannot understand why you thought this move at this time could be anything other than a disaster. How much support have you and the school put in place to support his SEN needs?

HolyHellaciousHeck · 22/09/2023 09:42

Agree with other posters that you've set him up to fail moving him into a completely different system. But Nat 5s are actually pitched slightly harder than GCSEs so it's not that it's an objective difficulty of content issue, it's that he's been dumped in a curriculum he's not used to or worked towards specifically.

SirChenjins · 22/09/2023 09:41

Good grief, the poor guy. Uprooted from his friends and support network and thrown into a strange country with a completely different education system. I’d be feeling like him and I’m in my fifties and don’t have dyslexia.

Can he move back up stay with family in Scotland? Can one of you move back there with him during the week? Or can he drop subjects and focus on a few, then do the others in 6th from college. You’re asking an impossible amount of him - what we’re your plans for supporting him through this? You must have thought about these challenges and difficulties, and at the moment you’re just setting him up to fail.

OlizraWiteomQua · 22/09/2023 09:38

Moving into year 11 is a terrible, life-altering and destructive action to inflict on a teenager.

I think you need to get him into year 10 instead, possibly at a different school, or he stands absolutely zero chance.

wannabesilverfox · 22/09/2023 09:35

Put yourself in your sons shoes, do you think you've put him in a reasonable position? Poor kid.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/09/2023 09:30

Splitting the family weekdays was also my thought.

Otherwise I'd be asking the school about him moving down to yr10. Presumably there will be overlap in some areas so he'll fly through some bits

titchy · 22/09/2023 09:29

Ffs what a stupid move. And what an unhelpful school.

Move school - preferably to one in Scotland. Second best choice - move him to year 10 - even if that means moving to the private sector. Third choice, ignore the school, focus on English Lang, Maths and two others. Pick up another three at college a year later.

He's right in a way, unless he's super bright with no SPLD he doesn't stand a cats chance in hell of passing in two terms.

EggInANest · 22/09/2023 09:28

How could he ever have been able to do this?

Poor boy.

TeenDivided · 22/09/2023 09:27

tbh I agree with the others.
Can your y11 stay weekly with friends/family to finish y11 in Scotland, then go to college in England?
You have given him a near impossible mountain, I'm not surprised he's giving up.

XelaM · 22/09/2023 09:27

Either allow him to move back to finish Year 11, enrol him in an online school that uses the Scottish system, let him go back to Year 10, or get him many many many tutors.

MargaretThursday · 22/09/2023 09:25

Can you ask if he can go into year 10. It would be challenging if he'd been preparing for GCSEs to move in year 11, but changing from Scottish to GCSEs makes it worse.
My cousins all were advised to drop a year when they moved Scotland to England, even though they were all bright and not at critical years. It worked well for them.

Gloschick · 22/09/2023 09:24

Moving at this stage is very challenging, even without dyslexia thrown in. I'm surprised your weren't advised against it. Could he go back up to Scotland and stay with family/ board until the end of year 11 then move for 6th form? Could he do a distance learning type thing that they might do eg in the highlands/islands so he can carry on the Scottish system temporarily?

Siezethefish · 22/09/2023 09:23

Could he go back to year 10?

Muchtoomuchtodo · 22/09/2023 09:21

Poor kid. I don’t have any suggestions other than dropping as many other non mandatory subjects as possible or moving back to his old school.

it’s such a terrible time to move schools, let alone countries that I can only assume that you absolutely no other option.

SD1978 · 22/09/2023 09:21

Not probably the suggestion you're looking for- but can he move back and finish his education in a country and an education system he actually knows? To have him change at this stage, as you've found, would be bloody difficult for anyone.

XelaM · 22/09/2023 09:19

Why did you move a Year 11 child?

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