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Confiscated phone…unreasonable or not?

177 replies

Fruitflylady · 12/09/2023 11:17

Just had an email from DS’s school to say he’s had his phone confiscated, and that they’re keeping it until Friday!
They introduced this new sanction this term, so it’s my first experience with it. He’s never had his phone confiscated before, and I don’t know why it’s happened now as I can’t get through to the school to ask.
I’m happy to accept he’s made a mistake in using it when he shouldn’t have, and fair enough that they confiscate it for the day, but it seems out of order for them to keep it for the rest of the week. We use it to keep track of where he is when he’s walking home, and he can call to ask for help when he needs it.
How would everyone else approach this situation?

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 12/09/2023 14:08

Fair enough until the end of the school day, but not having a phone as they leave school is a safety issue. This is not something I would accept.

I would be perfectly happy for my child to be punished. She could serve detention before or after school or during lunch. I’d even support coming in on a Saturday if they wanted to punish that way. I’m happy to also punish at home to reinforce school rules if that would help. I just don’t want her to be without a phone outside of school or the house under any circumstances.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 12/09/2023 14:07

It should be clearly laid out in the disciplinary policy. Our school has both kids and parents sign it at the beginning of each year.

We go for a strike approach. Kids use their phones to access digital materials and know when they can have them. Anyone using phone inappropriately, the phone gets put in the safe and has to be collected by a parent. That can be the same day.

Our best example was the son of a minor TV personality who went without his phone for two weeks because when school contacted (via disciplinary note on the electronic register as all communications are sent) the father mailed back to say "I'm leaving it for 2 weeks so he learns his lesson".

larlypops · 12/09/2023 14:06

Nope I’d be down there, yes he broke the rules and should have it confiscated for the remainder of the day but the week. Nope

Needmorelego · 12/09/2023 14:04

@drinkuptheezider it's not necessarily about "safety" but a way of being able to contact family or even order an Uber to get home if needs be.
Public phone boxes are becoming rare. I was visiting my childhood home over the summer. I went for a walk. The one I would have done to get to school. There used to be 3 phone boxes on that route including one at the end of the road where the school is. All 3 are gone. How are you meant to phone your parents to pick you up (if you need it) if you can't phone them?
And don't say "well they should walk" - because of the ridiculous system of school allocation (in England anyway) children can be attending a school in the next town over - rather than one 15 minutes away.

telllaura · 12/09/2023 14:00

So many parents on here who don't support the school's policy - it makes the job of teaching staff completely impossible if parents get their children out of school-imposed sanctions. Phone use is out of control in schools - kids use them in lessons, in toilets etc etc and they have very little sanction or limits placed on them. Would be great if teachers could just teach and not have to police children's use of technology they are bringing in from home. Kids do not 'need' phones.

TaigaSno · 12/09/2023 13:58

"I want my dc to have their phones every day for safety."

This attitude always baffles me, when so many users of this site managed to get to school and back again safely before mobile phones were even invented.
How on earth would your kids cope if their battery went flat, or their phone was stolen, or in this case, confiscated according to school rules.
Teach your child basic safety, independence, resilience, teach them what to do if their usual route or transport home is not available. Teach them how to live without solely relying on a piece of technology.

redskytonights · 12/09/2023 13:50

Wtfnowseptember · 12/09/2023 13:46

Legally they can't do this.

I want my dc to have their phones every day for safety.

Then you tell your DC not to use their phones during the school day, and there's no issue.

If your DC chooses to ignore this, then you go and collect them if you deem it unsafe for them to travel home without a phone.

This thread seems to be full of people who are fully supportive of the school ... as long as the sanction doesn't inconvenience them or their DC in any way. Which is rather the point of it.

SemperIdem · 12/09/2023 13:50

I’d support the school to be honest.

The notion that children can’t get to or from school safely without a phone is ridiculous.

drinkuptheezider · 12/09/2023 13:50

I'm amazed at all these kids who need a phone for 'safety'. Must be horrible living lives in fear of constant peril.

TeenDivided · 12/09/2023 13:49

Wtfnowseptember · 12/09/2023 13:46

Legally they can't do this.

I want my dc to have their phones every day for safety.

I don't think you are correct, though not an expert.

Schools have wide ranging powers including those of confiscation. You give your DC a phone, they misuse it, school can confiscate it for a reasonable period of time.

I would be surprised if schools up and down the country have written something illegal into their mobile phone policies.

Wtfnowseptember · 12/09/2023 13:46

Legally they can't do this.

I want my dc to have their phones every day for safety.

itsamedicalmystery · 12/09/2023 13:39

This causes problems for us but thankfully DD has (eventually) learned her lesson. It has her bus pass and bank card on the phone so she needs it, plus at over 8 miles from home I need to know where she is. At our school they confiscate the phone, and then the parent has to go in and collect it. I work full time, often way over 6pm so there have been a few occasions where it's been a good few days until I've been able to go get it. The last time it took me 11 days. Safe to say, she's not been on her phone at school since...so it does work.

WunWun · 12/09/2023 13:25

My DD has her bus pass on her phone, so this wouldn't work for us. I would go and get it.

TaylorsSwimShorts · 12/09/2023 13:22

You’d have a field day if you knew some of the rules I don’t allow school to impose on my children 🤣

buttercupcake · 12/09/2023 13:21

At my child’s school, if they hear or see the phone during the school day it gets confiscated for 2 weeks!

They know the rules, so they toe the line.

I would support the school on this one.

redskytonights · 12/09/2023 13:13

They used to use Show My Homework app and some other apps for homework and stuff so wouldn’t be able to do homework, etc. Seems a bit like shooting yourself in the foot to confiscate a phone for nearly a week.

I'm guessing their parents also have phones or other devices that they can use instead. Which will be inconvenient. But that's the point of the sanction! Or the students can stay at school to do homework.

alloalloallo · 12/09/2023 13:02

My daughters have left school now, but their school confiscated phones for the day and returned them after school for first offences.

If they were caught on their phones again, they were confiscated and a parent had to go in to pick it up.

I thought that was a good system - I don’t think confiscating phones for days in on.

Round here the bus company have phased out all card/paper bus passes and moved onto phone apps so they wouldn’t be able to get home with out their phone.

They used to use Show My Homework app and some other apps for homework and stuff so wouldn’t be able to do homework, etc. Seems a bit like shooting yourself in the foot to confiscate a phone for nearly a week.

Foxesandsquirrels · 12/09/2023 12:55

All our local schools are cracking down in phones big time. One school is doing random bag searches and confiscating them. They don't have the admin power to be returning them daily so each year group has a day they can come pick them up.

LongTimeListener1 · 12/09/2023 12:52

TaylorsSwimShorts · 12/09/2023 12:17

Our school tried this... I pointed out that my kid didn't take out the contact nor pay the bill so it was in fact MY phone they had confiscated, and that they wouldn't be keeping it for any longer than it took me to walk into reception and get it!

What a terrible example to set children.

TeenDivided · 12/09/2023 12:51

The thing is, taking the phone overnight makes the child and parents sit up and pay attention. Confiscating until the end of the day makes little impact.

If they need a phone to get home (NB generations managed previously) then the parent will need to put themselves out to collect them, or the child waits at school or goes with a friend as is collected from there.

The 'it's the adult's phone' argument is weak in my opinion. If you choose to entrust your child with your phone at school then it's on you if it gets confiscated.

Iwasafool · 12/09/2023 12:49

TaylorsSwimShorts · 12/09/2023 12:17

Our school tried this... I pointed out that my kid didn't take out the contact nor pay the bill so it was in fact MY phone they had confiscated, and that they wouldn't be keeping it for any longer than it took me to walk into reception and get it!

Perhaps there should be a rule that children only take things into school that belong to them.

redskytonights · 12/09/2023 12:49

Frankly I would phone the school and say you support them disciplining him but that they cannot keep the phone overnight.

But just keeping the phone during the day is no sanction at all - he shouldn't have been using it during the day at all so it's just enforcing what he should be doing anyway.

If the child has a serious concern about getting home safely then he needs to ask the school to ring his parents to come and collect him. This is probably inconvenient for parents, and might make the point. Or alternatively parents could supply their children with brick phones for communication purposes, as they might be less keen to bring those out at school.

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 12/09/2023 12:49

@LifeInTheUK yeah I agree that teachers shouldn't be getting children to use their phones to look stuff up - that's absurd. They'll just be doing what they do on their phones... Teachers should provide information children need or book a computer room which has proper restrictions.

LongTimeListener1 · 12/09/2023 12:48

“Back up the school instead of jumping on the ' No way, it's my phone, I pay the bill' bandwagon. It will be a lesson learned that he needs to do what he is told. I would fully back the school if my DC phone was confiscated like this.”

100% this. Parents should be backing teachers, not undermining them for the drama.

Sssudio · 12/09/2023 12:46

We have a back up Nokia brick phone I had for such emergencies, with 3 teens it came in useful a handful of times. Enough they could check bus times , text, call etc but not enough for 'fun'. If they've broken the rules they should accept the punishment, it must be a nightmare for teachers to manage these tbh