I have a DD age 13, in year 9. She was diagnosed with autism, inattentive type ADHD, anxiety and OCD earlier in the year after years of issues at school, with friendships etc. She found the transition to secondary school (state school with 1,500 pupils) very difficult and, after a pretty traumatic Year 7, her attendance started to drop in Year 8, to the point where she rarely went to school at all by the end of the year. By the end of Year 8, her therapist gave us a letter for the school saying she had autistic burnout. She has self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts. We had a great Summer holiday and she was actually quite excited to go back. However, we are now on the 3rd day of term and she went on the first day, had a lousy day and now refuses to go at all. I can see that she is unlikely to go back at all and I don't know what to do. The Head of Year at school is very nice, but he just says tell us what you want and we will try to accommodate it. I don't even know what to suggest, other than a reduced timetable and time in their pastoral area to reduce the pressure on her. We have been doing this in Year 8 and it clearly isn't working, so what else is there?. There is no online or remote provision or anything she can do at home and she refuses to do homework.. The SENCO is, again, very nice, but puts up barriers to anything I suggest, even an EHCP, and says the school is doing everything that an EHCP would offer. I am going to make an EHCNA application very shortly though and see what happens, though I have been told that it will take a long time and will almost certainly be turned down. The medical professionals involved (a CAMHS CBT counsellor, a private therapist and a private psychiatrist) are all very adamant that we should prioritise her mental health over her school attendance and have said that if the school starts to kick off over her attendance then we should home school. This is not something I could handle; my husband suffers from some mental and physical health chronic conditions and I work 3 days per week in a difficult job with an unsupportive manager where I am struggling to keep on top of what basically is a full-time workload. I am overwhelmed running around after everyone and trying to manage the house, garden and life in general. My daughter is an only child and she has two very good friends at school and I think she could benefit from spending time with other children, rather than on her own at home all day so I want to encourage her to go to school. We are looking into a small, independent school for her. I received a very negative and disapproving reaction from the therapist and psychiatrist over saying that I couldn't homeschool. My response was highlighted in quotes in the report they wrote after the meeting and I am very uncomfortable about the whole thing. It makes me feel nervous and that maybe it was the wrong reaction, whether I should just bite the bullet and homeschool, whether this is a reasonable expectation of most parents. I just know it would be so overwhelming though. I feel totally overloaded. We have found a lovely Montessori senior school for DD which she really liked and she wants to go there but it is full in her year and she is on the waiting list. We have tried other private schools in the area; one we received an offer from, but she hated it, and the other turned us down as they didn't feel they could cope with her needs. My husband is unsupportive and won't engage. He has a competitive relationship with his older brother whose daughter is popular and academically very successful, so he makes unfavourable comparisons and is always angry at me and DD after we have seen them as he thinks I am enabling failure and she is just choosing not to go to school as she can't be bothered. I know there is a lot going on here, and I have included some information for context, but please does anyone have any suggestions as to what practical steps I can take to help my DD? One of the doctors we spoke to mentioned, hospital school but that her current school would be reluctant as it costs them money and that she would have to "never "be going to school. How can I know that she will "never" be going to school? Currently we are taking each day as it comes so it's hard to know that she may not go in for one or two days at some point. I have also contacted an organisation called Dare2Dream but they said that a referral needs to come from the school. I already know the school has said it is doing everything it can and can't offer anymore, so where do I go from here? I feel like I am going around in circles.