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Original poster

Moving from private to state in Year 9

39 replies

winterrabbit · 29/08/2023 18:00

DS2, 13, is just about to move into Year 9 at a private school in North London. He has been asking for some time to move to our local state secondary where a lot of his friends go. I've been reluctant to move him as the local state does not have great results (more along the lines of ok) and has all the issues that go with a large mixed London comprehensive, however, I am increasingly minded to just let him join his primary school friends at the local state. He's not unhappy at this current school but he says he doesn't like the vibe or the teachers at the private school, prefers his local friends, doesn't like the long school day etc. I do hear him as the school he is at was very much a back-up school for us and doesn't have great facilities although does get good results and is small and nurturing. DS is bright and hardworking and I think will probably do well anywhere. Having said that, he did not do as well as we expected at 11+ (hence the back-up school) and missed out on the grammars and super-selectives so I do wonder if it's worth paying for slightly smaller classes, more support etc so that he gets the best results possible. Curious as to what others would do.

OP posts:
Urgsleepmoresleep · 31/08/2023 12:54

@winterrabbit i was your son. I went to a private school in my primary years but I didn’t like the teachers. They were very academic. I needed a bit more fun lessons to help me thrive. I did well in private school and had friends, but didn’t see them out of school due to distance. I didn’t do well in my 11 plus. I think it was the pressure.

I asked to move to a state school close ti where I lived with my friends. My mum was hesitant but let me. I thrived as there was less emphasis on academia and more on thriving. I also had my friends I could walk to school with and see them after.

I thrived got good results and still see my friends 25 years later. I did have tutors for some subjects. Was the best decision as I needed the social aspect too. My brother stayed at the private school and thrived. But he was more academic and introverted.

cestlavielife · 31/08/2023 12:35

Teachers will be boring everywhere if that is his attitude...

30 mins tube journey is a fair distance in miles

Save money send local so long as he will put in the work to get decent gcses

Original poster
winterrabbit · 31/08/2023 12:29

Yes, he wants to move. Mainly for mates but he also says teachers are boring, wants to be at a school closer to home (his school is 30 minutes away on the tube so not really far). He basically likes the vibe at the local state not the posh vibe at the private.

OP posts:
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty · 31/08/2023 08:21

he is popular at his current school and has lots of kids wanting to be friends with him but he just doesn't seem that interested

It is just teens, he would be OK re move or not.

Starlightstarbright2 · 31/08/2023 07:31

I personally wouldn’t move him for mates. This is the time mates are just a distraction rather than anything else .

sillyuniforms · 31/08/2023 07:27

I'd move him & support with tutors

Foxesandsquirrels · 30/08/2023 09:58

What friendships group would he be in at HGW? Its not all doom and gloom there esp if he's in an established group. The school is very cliquey and the good kids tend to stay together and vice versa. I know you don't want to say but if he's about to go into somewhere like Mill Hill than I would probably move him tbh. I suspect he'll be much happier at hgw and do just as well if you top up with tutors.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 30/08/2023 09:22

Places at the local state come up quite often as we applied twice before and got a place within a few weeks (but didn't take it). Local option is Highgate Wood. Accept that we'd have to lose up to a term's fees. Doesn't seem a way around it unfortunately.

In terms of friendships, he is popular at his current school and has lots of kids wanting to be friends with him but he just doesn't seem that interested.

OP posts:
Foxesandsquirrels · 29/08/2023 22:04

Does the state even have space? This might be an expensive move for you as you will need to give a terms notice at your current school whereas if a space comes up at the state you have max 2 weeks to accept from memory.
Is he somewhere like Aldenham or Belmont Vs say Highgate?
What's your state option?

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 29/08/2023 21:08

Does the comp have space?
He'll be picking his options in 6 months time or so, if you're going to move, I wouldn't leave it much later than now.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty · 29/08/2023 21:01

Can your DC make friends in the current school?

redskytonights · 29/08/2023 21:00

You like the school because it gets great results and is small and nurturing.

However, I would suspect that the results are inline with the school's intake and it doesn't sounds like DS feels very nurtured there.

I would reevaluate whether your reasons for sending him there are actually valid in light of him actually attending the school, rather than as a theoretical option.

If you went for the comprehensive the money freed up could pay for tutoring and his day still would probably be shorter than it is now.

If my child were asking to move schools, I would move them.

SignsOfWeakness · 29/08/2023 20:45

Different scenario but DS (also 13, soon to be yr 9) is at a sought after local grammar which doesn't have a catchment. Due to this his friends live all around the large city and beyond so he complains he can't see them out of school.

He could get public transport and I've offered to drive him but it's not the same as being able to go to the local park with your friends really (although hanging around the park may not be a great idea either!)

He's also a bright, self-motivated boy and I kind of regret not letting him go to the local comprehensive with his primary school friends. I won't move him as he is happy but if he weren't I would certainly consider it.

So I think moving your DS wouldn't be the worst thing in the world tbh.

10Minutestobedtime · 29/08/2023 20:45

I'm not speaking from experience but if you're minded to move him how about moving him and using tutors to give him a boost?