Year 10 - 2023/2024 Support Thread

@QueenMabby -concert wear - always cheering (DD2 is always trying to pick up more of it). So glad it went well. She sounds like such an amazing kid - but also such a perfectionist... poor love to think people won't like her if she does badly. Their identities can be so bound up with their academics at this age.

On the merits - I got an email from DD's tutor last night saying that the Head had now asked everyone to 'reflect' on the merit system and whether they were awarding the wretched things fairly... so maybe it has struck a chord with someone after all. He assures me no-one knows it was me who said something, so hopefully DD2 won't be too embarrassed. Though she did receive a highly suspicious merit for 'working hard in biology' yesterday. But if it means that every quiet and overlooked child is recognised for a couple of weeks before it going back to normal, I guess that is something.

Hope it went well @QueenMabby and the shopping was fun!

No mocks here, just end of topic tests. He did OK in physics and chemistry last week, not his best but he didn't do too badly. He did better in music performance 29/30 and his teacher said that's the best he's ever played so that bodes well. Difficult to get him motivated these days to do any school work but the bare minimum because of all the sport etc as it's tiring and takes up hours on weekday evenings. On the plus side he did get 4 wickets in a interclub match last week and was person of the match (there were 2 girls playing in the other team!).

Thanks for that revision timetable link @QueenMabby it looks so useful. Also good luck to your DD for her GCSE tomorrow.

@icanbewhatiwant that's great that your DS has applied for the head boy role. Hope he is successful!

Good luck to all those that are having mock and exams and real GCSEs.

DS is going on his DofE expedition this Thursday. It's forecast to rain heavily.

@QueenMabby good luck to your DD today - hope she's feeling better. It sounds like she is super well prepared so should imagine she'll breeze through it. It is awful when they only focus on the mistakes though. Both of mine do this (and my foster daughter too)

@NotDonna I'd not heard the concept of concentrating on the yellow bits before - makes sense though... think I'll let all of ours know that. I have two at home with A-Level mocks after half term, which is occupying more of my mind. Last biology test was disastrous...it is just SO content heavy and she's only doing one science which means there's nothing supporting it if you see what I mean. the Year 10 doesn't get a lot of focus from me normally because of the other two - and the fact she's obviously not at home - but I will at least try to talk to her about it over half term.

@Oblomov24 good luck to your DS1 and his exams!

👋🏼 @Oblomov24 yes she’s also got exams! Always seems to have them tbh. They do both topics (BST & FM this time) the same day so it ends up being 8 hours of exams in one day. But if a killer. She’s taken a few days holiday and ploughing through practice papers. Her mocks went well but she wants to get high marks. It’s tough when they work FT too but luckily she’s not too bothered about using up some of her annual leave.

@NotDonna
Hey you, how's dd1? Ds1 has 3 papers including Tax and FR in the next 2 weeks.

Not too sure if I’ve mentioned it on here before but both DD1 & DD2 (and DD3 by osmosis) were advised to look critically at subject topics and mark them green, yellow and red. Green - understand/know it; yellow - understand but unsure; Red - really struggling/ haven’t a clue. Then, to work on getting the yellow topics to green. What tends to happen is kids revise the green topics. Parents encourage the red. Which when it’s spelled out you can totally imagine. So once yellow is green, the red seems less overwhelming to tackle.

DD3 has done a revision timetable for half term (exams are after) which is pretty hefty but we’ll see how that works out. She feels pretty sure it’s a good plan so she’ll see herself how well she can stick to it and how well it works. She doesn’t really do practice papers but that’s how DD1 & DD2 did their GCSEs and A levels. And even DD1 now, taking her professional exams. She’s constantly doing past papers. But they have another year so a good amount of time to hone those skills.
A year! Where has that time gone!

How brilliant of your DS @icanbewhatiwant to apply for the Head Boy role.
So much can be achieved in life I feel by willing to give hard/scary things a go and I wish I had that level of bravery!
Not sure what I would do on the merits @minisnowballs -probably just grumble to my DH about it incessantly…
DS ‘s second RS exam was harder than the first he said but is over crucially now, the lesson time is given over to Maths which he doesn’t mind.
Am assuming they will advise how he will get the results-an email same as for Year 11 probably?

End of Y10 exams after half term here .

@SuperSue77 that's lovely of the tutor though - how kind that they noticed. frustrating as it is. Glad they are better with your son.

@Oblomov24 - at least now gives you time to find out what works for next year's mocks. DD1 always like physical paper for ticking things off - and lots of flash cards. DD2, who knows... can't say she seems all that prepared.

Well done icanbe for ds Head Boy application. Supersur that seems so unfair.

I'm starting to worry /wonder if ds2 actually knows how to revise. He says he does, but admits has never needed to as yet.

He only has small topic tests, eg the exams/tests coming up are only on:

Bio: B1, B2, B3, B4
Chem: C1, C2, C4, C7, C9
Phys: P1, P2, P6

I'm thinking I'm going to have to force him. I've downloaded the maths syllabus into excel, but will he tick it off? Or prefer an app. I've got all the themes and quotes for Macbeth, but will he use that? He has no drive, am a bit concerned.

I actually got an email from my DDs form tutor telling me the number of merits she received was not commensurate to the amount of effort she out in and level of achievement. She wanted to reassure me that she was doing absolutely everything she should and deserved more recognition that she was getting. So tell her other teachers that!
Fortunately she doesn’t seem too bothered and I think it actually motivates her to work even harder. My son is the complete opposite and needs loads of positive recognition which fortunately his school (different school, but both state) do loads of, even for the basic expectations such as tidy uniform and punctuality. DS is AuDHD though so punishment doesn’t work with him and he needs lots of positive recognition, which they give him and he responds well to. Luckily, things could be so different in a different type of school, I dread to think.

Good luck with all the end of year exams, early GCSEs. Does anyone else’s school give them ‘mocks’ at end of year 10. DS’s school do and all the teachers are piling on the pressure about revision timetables and how much they have done :-(

Anyhow, enough of my irrelevant wittering - I'm sure alll will be fine with that, eventually..

Good luck to those with exams this week - @QueenMabby how was today?

@NotDonna Perhaps you are right. I'm not expecting her to win a class prize though - just a merit. This school turns what she is used to being praised for on its head - she has done incredible amount of extra-curricular activity in the past, including several national ensembles, but these were not interesting to her old school. Being a kind person absolutely would have been. She would just have been told off for showing off, and probably bullied if she had ever even mentioned them in a tutor meeting.

I think she just makes tea for everyone. As she does at home. We praise her for being helpful around the house, and I suspect maybe matron does too.

I'm sure she would never call her classmates loud to their faces. They certainly are louder than her, though.

It's a culture she cannot get her head round. Maybe if we'd moved her at year 7 it would have been easier.

I mean this very very kindly!!

Im going to offer another perspective…Johnny spent three hours last night compiling an essay regarding his sporting achievements and maths scores yet this other girl won the ‘contribution to school’ prize because she’s nice and makes tea for matron. 🤔

I think ‘being nice’ is generally expected & isn’t extra-ordinary. Doing extra curricular will be considered ‘more’; rightly or wrongly.

I’m also not sure if it’s you or your daughter calling her classmates ‘loud and swishy haired’ but what’s meant by that?

And why the heck is she making tea for matron? It’s not the 1950’s! If they’re expected to make tea I’m hoping they ask the boys too. If it’s to help her build a relationship with matron then maybe but whilst she’s making tea is she then being isolated from the others. I’ve always felt from your posts that she’s settling in well and making friends so hopefully that’s all still good.

The asking about parents jobs is incredibly bizarre! We’ve been at 5 different private schools and never had anything like that. The kids often don’t really know.

I think it must be incredibly difficult having her far away boarding. It’s a huge credit to you all to take up the opportunity despite the distance and ‘culture change’. She’s settling in brilliantly by the sounds of it and getting great great grades. I’m thinking this is the ‘merit’ she needs to focus on.

Hood that’s not sounding too harsh!!

@QueenMabby I'm sure you're right about them telling us if there was something actually wrong. It is just such a culture shift. When DD told us that in tutor time they were asked how they 'contributed to the school' and one boy handed over two pages of typed A4 on his sporting achievements and maths scores, but she mumbled something about being a nice person and making tea for Matron, we couldn't quite believe that 'typed A4' boy was the one who won all the prizes.

They were also, by the way, asked what their parents did for a living. Not something that would have happened at her old place - where she knew she was damn fortunate that her parents were a) employed b) alive c) allowed to be in the same country as her (we have a Ukrainian teen living with us as a foster child so DD is well aware of her privilege even now she's in a different school cohort).

Essentially we are a naive bunch who thought that being nice and keeping your head down might get you noticed in a smaller school. Of course it doesn't. Rather sad really.

@NotDonna thanks - they definitely have and use merits in DD2's school - much admiration in the last assembly for those who had 75 or more apparently - so none at all seems unusual! If I ever ask anyone (teacher, music teacher, houseparent etc) how she is doing they are always fulsome in their praise - but the cynic in me thinks maybe fee-paying schools are like that (we have no experience) and actually there is a problem they aren't articulating.

I'll probably send the email to her if it continues to be an issue, or talk with her when she's home for half term. It's not an easy conversation to have when she's in a boarding house.

It’s such a tough one @minisnowballs and more difficult due to distance. It does seem at our school that it’s the same few girls who consistently get recognition in the newsletters and many are overlooked. There seems to be a type. And whilst we may try to instil the importance of intrinsic motivation a flipping merit here and there doesn’t hurt. I think Queen Mabby’s response is good as it’s not too ‘that parent’ The tutor has pretty much said she’s overlooked because she excels. If she knows you emailed I’d read that to her!
I don’t think DD3 has ever got a merit. I don’t recall my other two getting any either at senior school. I’m not sure they have them; just detention marks. I’ll have to ask her in the morning.

Thanks @QueenMabby that does also seem unfair! I'm not sure what the expectations are academically for DD2 - because she is new I am not sure school does either.

It would matter less if she came home to me every night and we could talk it over and encourage her and all of that - all of which I do try to do via WhatsApp but it isn't quite the same. I probably worry too much that her face doesn't fit, and she doesn't put herself forward enough - new school at 14 is tough!

I guess what's most important that she learns that she does stuff for herself, not for the joys of recognition. Which she does really- and she certainly doesn't want marks out of pity.