Stowe school

@Bedsmum66
That's reassuring to hear, thank you for your comment.

I found out today that one of our friend's friend have daughters in the Prep feeder school and will be joining Stowe in a couple of years on academic scholarships too as day pupils. Whilst majority of the pupils do board, our understanding is that by opening the Day House, the intake of day pupils has increased over time and the intention is to grow this community more at Stowe.

@Bedsmum66 But you negotiated for money off the day fees. You are not paying boarding fees out of your trust fund or small change. Stowe does still have a few boarding who don’t need to count the £! Plus you never know what Dc might, or indeed, might not do!

@MisschiefMaker What do you consider to be “not that bright”. No one at Stowe will get a string of grade 3s at gcse. You don’t understand that their results are perfectly decent. They will do well if they want to but many parents there are rich so DC don’t all need elite careers. Plenty of Dc can do well at schools where not all around them are super bright. They aren’t a Bucks grammars either.

Stowe is not all boarding. Lots of day pupils so parents do have influence.

I’m a bit out of date now, but I spent a lot of Saturdays between 2010 and 2019 following DS1 and DS2 around their sporting fixtures including matches against Stowe. Lovely setting and great match tea (the best on the circuit), but our experience was of unpleasant and unsporting boys and parents. I know one young person who left after being bullied. Things may have changed since then of course but I’d be very careful.

I wouldn't send a child to Stowe unless they are very self motivated with their academics.

It's not an academic school and since it's boarding you'll have limited influence in terms of getting him to revise for exams and develop a good work ethic. So you're relying on your child being sufficiently self motivated to study hard while putting him in an environment that doesn't really glorify academics (but does have a record of glorifying other things, like drugs, bullying and racism).

It's not the case that a bright child will do well there simply because they're bright. Even bright children, in the wrong environment, can fail to meet their potential.

If you aren't really fussed about academics then it has a lot going for it. The boys and girls come out of Stowe with a certain eloquence and charm which can enable them to get ahead in life even if they aren't too bright. The sort of people that make decent estate agents, I suppose. Plus, you won't have to see your DS all that much is if it's not convenient.

Anyway - DD wasn’t a back number!

I know 121 is pass mark. Max could well be extended now.

@Bushy23 thank you. We are aware that only 4% of students from Stowe go to Oxbridge/Cambridge universities.

@TizerorFizz
You can get up to 181 now, I think.

Widening access does not discriminate against Stoics alone. As a separate breed! The issue is wanting more state educated Dc.

To add: people are wedded to old reports and do know Stowe ranks lower than lots of private schools academically but it’s not that far away from the Bucks grammars. It has its position in terms of independent schools and is quite glamorous. It does have beautiful buildings but I’m not qualified to look at teaching quality. That’s really what will matter.

Whether DD gets the big tick in terms of overall development, I’m not sure. This, to some extent, will depend on her and your pockets.

I think it also depends what you are looking for. Possibly not sport so what else do you want? She might make friends with the very rich and go to the London parties. Or ones in stately homes. Or never get invited anywhere. She might be in the orchestra and do loads of drama. She might not. She might find a new hobby or not find the time. I would not expect a personalised pastoral care programme for her but they will hope she does well academically. So would the grammar. Stowe has nearly 900 pupils over 5 years. That’s around 175-180 in a year group. Quite a lot. My DD went to a school with 1/3 that number (450 over 7 years) and they did know all DDs. Especially boarding ones.

That’s another issue. Do boarding DC get more out of this school? They are there to take advantage of everything if they are able. I also think a school should assist DDs develop their interests and one thing that was important to me was that my DD could have a go and not be left on the side as she had been at state primary school sports. Going to netball club but never getting a game. Winning was all. I wanted her to have a chance. She got her chances at singing, music and drama. New pastimes discovered. Plus great school trips. So everyone happy. How do you think DD could develop at Stowe? For us, paying wasn’t just about academics but I know it is for some.

Also I’m not sure private schools are all plain sailing. We certainly noticed favouritism and bias. Speech days were a parade of Dc belonging to the great and the good - they got a prize for something every year, deserved or not. Will you find your tribe? Does that bother you? We did but others were aloof.

Worth also considering where DD may be applying to university. She’s far more likely to get into Oxbridge having gone to a grammar school these days. Having gone to Stowe will form assumptions form those that don’t know her.

@Legalbeagle12 When DD took Bucks test, 141 was highest obtainable mark.

@TizerorFizz
Thank you for your comments, its very much appreciated.

Our DD did extremely well at the 11+ exam (achieved higher than 140) and we physically moved prior to her sitting the 11+ to get her into the grammar school.

We were only made aware of the scholarship through a program which DD attended at Stowe. The initial offer made wasn't attractive and we were told that due to our income level the award wouldn't be increased. It was only when I pushed for clarity and asked to speak with someone more senior that the offer was relooked at. They do want her and have moved above and beyond from their perspective to make it happen - they did not have to and it is a business at the end of the day but they did. The only downside is it came so late in the day but not too late that we wouldn't be able to move her.

Whilst we know that Stowe is not an academic school (school is what the child makes it) I do think that DD will thrive in either settings and feel that Stowe has a bit more edge in terms of offering and her overall development. What really struck me and made me more confused after an agonising two weeks of deliberation and coming to a decision was reading the negativity placed on the school as opposed to anything constructive/good, which then made me question further if we are doing the right thing for our DD.

@Legalbeagle12 Just to give context: I don’t know anyone currently at Stowe or RLS. There are differences I know about and I’m fairly local. I also used a boarding school instead of another Bucks grammar. It suited my DD and she thrived. But - she never started at the grammar.

I know Stowe has links with two preps. I have friends who used one of them but DC went to Rugby. They didn’t want Stowe for older DC but to be honest, younger DC was perfect for there. Academically struggled at Rugby but parents were in Arnold Foundation so that smoothed it out. DD2 has friends who went to Stowe and the London group are pretty rich. They all boarded.

The day pupils are more a more varied bunch for obvious reasons. I’m amazed they have haggled over the amount and it’s not fully means tested. This tells me they are desperate for brighter Dc.

In general terms, there’s a lot available there. Of course it’s beautiful. We looked for 6th form but the girls seemed bored. It didn’t exude life! More mooching with nowhere to go. So we went elsewhere. It has plenty of DC who do well but probably not at the depth of RLS pupils. RLS offers a lot too but I can understand your DD liking Stowe. Mine liked her boarding school more then the idea of the grammar too. If she is doing well at the prep she will be ok. Being in a school with broader academic intake doesn’t affect top Dc. My DD got 140 in the Bucks test and didn’t go to a top academic school. Didn’t need to.

Check out you are happy with the ethos, subjects, availability of clubs, day house and everything else. No doubt there will be some characters there. She will need resilience there more than at the grammar in my view.

Wouldn’t academics be down to the child as much as it is down to the school? Would you give any weighting to the overall experience the child will get and development from a school such as Stowe as opposed to a grammar?

Because Stowe is not an academic school, it just isn’t. I wouldn’t send an academic child from a grammar school to a non selective boarding school. And yes, Stowe has a horrible reputation.

Are you able to expand on your comment on why you wouldn’t to that?

Are you able to expand on your comment on why you wouldn’t to that?

I wouldn’t give up a grammar school place for Stowe! Definitely not.

It’s an academic continuation scholarship and the level of funding given reflects that. We would prefer her to move now rather than in two years. The funding is allowing us to be able to send her there. Paying for the balance of fees or extras such as trips is not an issue. The concern is whether it’s an overall good school or not and whether the school would be the right fit for our DD.

Why does she have to go to a feeder school until 13? could she not give the Grammar a go and then decide for Year 9 entry. If they want her that much surely they would agree to that.
I don't have direct experience of Stowe but anecdotally from other parents it would be one of the last schools I would send a child if money was fairly tight.

Hi Tizerorfizz,

Thank you for commenting. The funding is all the way through Prep and Stowe, hence being a continuation scholarship. The initial award given back in end of June was not great and after lots of email correspondence between the registrar at the feeder school I finally spoke with someone higher up at Stowe who came back with a final offer towards the end of August due to being on holiday. Whilst we were in discussion I had to continue to prep my daughter to start at the grammar school. We are using limited uniform for now with a view to hopefully being able to return unused uniform.

She has only been at the grammar since last week and when the offer came through she surprised us by saying that she really wants to go there and will make new friends, which is completely out of her comfort zone. Having spent a week at the grammar her decision has not changed and she’s aware that she needs to perform academically as she will be on an academic scholarship. In fact she’ll be leaving friends at the school from her previous primary school. She wants to go there as she sees it as a great opportunity and the fact that she’s been recognised by being awarded the scholarship in the first place. By the time she goes to Stowe she will know children going there from the feeder school so won’t alone.

The dilemma I have is whether we are making the right decision? We don’t know any parents who send or have sent their children there so have no first hand perspective on the school other than what we’ve read or seen during the tour of the school and it’s very much mixed reviews.

Whilst our DD wants to go she’s only 11 so we as parents need to figure out what is best for her.

Is the reputation of Stowe that bad? We are aware of issues in the past and with all schools there will always be behavioural issues.

So this is presumably RLS? Why would she not gain confidence there? I do see your dilemma. Are you getting funding all the way through at prep and Stowe? If not, is it just for one of their feeder preps?

I might stay put as your DD has started. I think you are over stating “confidence”. It’s not taught! It’s within dc. You can be more confident as you succeed. What else would you get from Stowe at 13? Why does your DD think it’s better?

Im sure another child will be delighted to take your DDs place if she leaves. Plus if she’s up for this change, in my view she is confident! She knows no one and is willing to make a big leap. Cannot believe it’s been left so late in the day though! Why did you let her start at the grammar and buy all the uniform? That’s so odd.