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How accurate was the impression you formed of senior school, before your kids started?

64 replies

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 04/08/2023 13:50

With the power of hindsight, how accurate was your impression you formed of the senior school you chose for your dc? The impression you got from things like open days and local chat. If you had concerns, were they correct or misfounded? Or did it look great but actually it's not been?

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Sofishticated · 28/08/2023 00:44

Never fully trust the cheerleaders of a school on social media platform (MN/FB), the one sided positive reviews often reflect the experiences of the lucky ones who succeeded.

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 22/08/2023 11:22

The school where i live has a reputation among parents for putting on a rubbish open day! It is the only school in the town so has a captive audience, so perhaps doesn't have to try.

It has recently been rated as 'requires improvement' by ofsted. For reading progress in particular, which may be an issue as Dc is dyslexic. It is joining a larger academy trust so many teachers are now leaving due to changes to their terms and conditions. The new ish head is not well regarded by parents I have spoken to, in part due to a crack down on uniform. However, it feels a bit rock bottom and the only way may be up.

I think it may be very hard to judge how this will play out. I am not expecting to get a brilliant impression at the open day. And I am wondering how much to trust that impression.

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TizerorFizz · 22/08/2023 09:43

@Quisquam No one has mentioned they wanted a schooL for SEN. Undiagnosed ADHD (so presumably some issues in primary) is fairly unusual. However unlikely some behaviour issues would not have been evident. Plus you knew DC, not the school. It’s always easy on MN to say a Dc had SEN and therefore the standard ways of assessing a school don’t apply. However for the majority, who have assessed what Dc need, what I said is not rubbish. It’s actually 100% accurate where I live. Guess where the Inadequate schools have been? (Except one!) It’s obviously a rough guide and SLT is vital but Ofsted data shows where most poorer schools are coincides with poorer areas. Assessing SEN in a school is another ball game. However ofsted inspect this and what do other parents think where Dc have similar issues?

I really don’t think open days tell you much. Just busy days with a crowded school. You don’t get under the skin at an open day. Any school.

Ormally · 21/08/2023 22:09

I saw 2 large state schools, one with yr 6 DC in tow and one without. Both with good reputations locally but didn't know them from childhood as wasn't local to the area until about 10 years ago. Had been expecting that the one that is closer to home and slightly smaller would win over impressions very easily.

At open days: the smaller one was much, much busier and was pulling out all the stops (bunsen burners and crowd pleasing experiments, good displays, music demos etc). Given a tour by a student. But what stayed in the memory was this:
The student (year 8?) wore a name badge that clearly wasn't theirs, as the open day planners had got it wrong or not known they were helping.
Every corridor had prominent notices on with stiff penalties for discipline infractions, especially uniform. Made me want to rebel just reading it.
While all the classrooms were clearly in full swing, Reception had a sign on the glass window that said 'Enter through Class X' and not a soul around there. No welcome, no checks on who, exactly, was going in or why!

The other school:
Well-organised sign-in process for visitors.
Well-timed movement over the site to avoid the swarming class changeovers.
Not the most polished of buildings but smartboards, events, UCAS deadlines, student reps, etc all displayed with a look of this being both creative and organised.
On small offices, nurse's room doors, etc. there were non-intimidating reminders easily understood by both students and staff that reminded of how to speak to, behave, and record, situations where 1:1 meetings based on welfare concerns might take place.
Students in lessons looked as if they were motivated (this was in performance arts and was a mock workshop assessment that would really count towards grades)

Have been very pleased with School 2. Large, has its issues, but encouraging, good communication insofaras it can, and does value more than the grades.

Quisquam · 21/08/2023 22:01

Without being snobby, look at the parents. Dc tend to be a chip off the old block. Are DC mostly looking happy and reasonably well presented when they come out of school? Can you find out if professional parents use a school? Is it an area with uni lecturers living in it? Sure fire won’t be a bad school in that area. What about cost of housing? Doesn’t always follow that leafy lanes have better schools, but around me it does.

None of this advice is any good, if other parents’ DC are high achievers and your DC has undiagnosed SEN. We live in a leafy suburb among graduate professional parents. The school was useless with DD, with undiagnosed ADHD, and did nothing but push her to get As and A*s, for the benefit of their pay packets and no regard for DD’s wellbeing! I spent 7 years, raising concerns about her - paid for reports by an independent speech and language therapist, and neuro-educational psychologist; and her geography teacher thought she knew better than them!

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 21/08/2023 21:50

@Oblomov23 it wasn't me who asked what you view as success. But it sounds like a good school, I'm jealous! We don't have options like that. Or many options at all.

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Oblomov23 · 21/08/2023 21:17

We are in Surrey and there are about 15 excellent schools nearby, some private, some independent, many state. All the schools round here, primary and secondary are at least ok. None are really that bad.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty · 21/08/2023 21:10

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This is indeed a remarkable result for a non selective state school, it is better than a lot of Grammar school in South England.

Oblomov23 · 21/08/2023 20:54

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TizerorFizz · 21/08/2023 19:48

SLT makes a huge difference. Heads improving a school do make the education better for the majority. When SLT are in decline, or moving on, there can be a lapse and the school suffers. A well run school is very important and some are definitely yoyo schools. You don’t always know what is coming: it might be in decline or on the up.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 21/08/2023 18:42

I was very worried my dses would be lost and not stretched as it was a very average school and parents did all they could to avoid their children going there. The school was so much better than I expected and both dses got into top universities with excellent GCSE and A level results.

So grateful to the

tequilachickenbird · 21/08/2023 18:35

.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/08/2023 16:51

Sometimes schools actually change (my dc's school certainly did, with many changes of leadership within a few years). However, if the school is pretty immediately not what you expected, that will be because the reality doesn't match up to the marketing. I've a teacher for a long time and I wouldn't trust the impressions given at an Open Evening. At all.

TheShorestAnswerIsDoing · 21/08/2023 16:47

What you define as excellent result @Oblomov23 ?

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 21/08/2023 16:44

Living the dream @Oblomov23

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Oblomov23 · 21/08/2023 16:36

Been happy with ours. Knew it was a very good school. It's the local one, superb reputation. Ds1 finished there and is at Uni. Ds2 about to start GCSE's. Most of ds's class go there. Good pastoral care. Excellent results. Very happy.

TizerorFizz · 21/08/2023 16:21

@Foxesandsquirrels That’s exactly it. If people naively believe the cheerleaders without a bit more digging, that’s down to them. However I found many realistic parents when I asked around.

Foxesandsquirrels · 21/08/2023 16:05

@TizerorFizz Exactly. I would never send my child to a school I did t hear anything negative about. It's just not possible. Find out what is the negative aspect and if you're happy to live with it.

TheShorestAnswerIsDoing · 21/08/2023 16:00

TizerorFizz · 21/08/2023 15:34

@TheShorestAnswerIsDoing The critical point is “sensible people”. Not the brainwashed sycophants. Someone who’s able to weigh up pros and cons. I can tell who is too gushing!

but not everybody is as sensible as you are and there are many naive people around

TizerorFizz · 21/08/2023 15:34

@TheShorestAnswerIsDoing The critical point is “sensible people”. Not the brainwashed sycophants. Someone who’s able to weigh up pros and cons. I can tell who is too gushing!

ladyfromslough · 21/08/2023 12:09

The problem with open days etc is that quite often they show a biased view of the school, of course they won't show you if the school has bullying problems, bad behaviour etc, they'll make it seem as good as possible. My DC's first secondary school was 'outstanding', the open evening was encouraging but in reality it was a horrible school with a big bullying problem. They had all their issues under a rug, they weren't going to admit they had these problems.
My impression from talking to local parents wasnt great: despite the outstanding ofsted report many advised me against the school and said it had issues with bullying etc. They were correct, I should have listened to them. I took my DC out in year 10 and put her in a 'good' school, which was far better and had no issues with bullying like at the old one.

TheShorestAnswerIsDoing · 21/08/2023 11:47

entitledparents · 05/08/2023 00:16

My advice...ignore those who talk about a school they dont have kids at.
Only listen to sensible people who do have kids there

absolutely not a good idea. Some school program naive parents to praise the school. It is a perpetuated notion of "aaaamazing school". Whereas there is bullying and GCSE results are poor.

Iamnotthe1 · 21/08/2023 11:11

Open days are a show. They can give you an impression but they are, ultimately, a performance put on for prospective parents and children and they will not represent the day to day happenings. That being said, student tour guides can often give you a reasonable impression depending on how open they are as they show you round. Often, their own personal conduct, confidence, etc. can also be representative of the values and expectations of the school.

Word of mouth isn't massively reliable either. One of the major differences between primary and secondary is how involved and informed the parents are (or are allowed to be by their children). Children stop telling parents what happens at school, parents are physically on site far less, there's not one specific point of contact for parents, etc. Obviously, this isn't the case for all children but I've seen parental shift a lot with a number of the families with whom I am involved.

ElfinsMum · 21/08/2023 11:00

Yeah, we made an error with DD1 currently in Y7. Private Catholic girls school. We are church goers but not Catholic.

Promise: Lots of feminist marketing about the benefits of an all girls Education. Open recruitment policy. Reassured us several times that they welcome everyone, RE is just learning about religion blah blah.

Reality: first question in RE was "put your hand up if you're Catholic". Mass is about once per month. Y7 RE curriculum has included the importance of chastity and modesty...
.
I just assumed that if they had altered their recruitment policy to accept anyone, they would have liberalised everything else too. Lesson learned.

entitledparents · 06/08/2023 23:32

itsgettingweird · 06/08/2023 16:57

I was completely bought by their sales technique.

Ds didn't even last year 7.

He went to a much better school after that and I regret ever sending him to the first one and will never forgive myself for buying into what they said before he started and after he started and in response to issues I raised.

Gosh this sounds like a school near us

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